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need advice? not sure what to say to the "other" girl

Posted by on Apr. 6, 2013 at 10:03 AM
  • 35 Replies

 My brother was born Nov. 4th 2012. My mom is 46 years old. I love my brother and i love my mom this is not what this is about. LOL. My sister is going to be 22 years old and got pregnant by a low life who still lives with his baby mama. we shall call him david cause thats his name lol. my sisters name is Shell(thats what we will call her) well she is due in sept and im happy for her. this is going to be her first baby and im trying to make it a better situation than it is. i love my sister to death. but Davids other baby mama his g.f well she is one of my good friends and i haven't been able to tell her because my sister wants david to tell her, even though i know he won't do that. Should i tell her??? shes one of my best friends but i love my sister and want to respect her. But every time i see david and my sister together it makes me mad that they could do this, exp. cause my sister and davids g.f are "friends" idk. my other question is my sister said if she has a boy she doesn't want the baby so my mom feels obligagted to take the baby. we won't because im not up for open adoption, that just my preferance. but my mom is 46 and already had another baby. i don't feel my mom should have to care for her baby when she is 22 years old, has a job, and a place. and its unfair to the baby. i think its selfish she would only want the baby if the babys a girl. idk. i feel so confused on what to say or do in these situations??

My Name is Christina. Im 24 yrs young. I have two kids Kaylee and Caleb and married the love of my life Dustin <3 Im currently TTC baby NUMBER 3 since NOV. 2011!!!!!
by on Apr. 6, 2013 at 10:03 AM
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Replies (1-10):
SaraNicole07
by on Apr. 6, 2013 at 10:11 AM
2 moms liked this

This makes me sad. There are so many people who want to have babies and can't. They'd be happy with anything, and then there are people who wont keep their baby if its not the gender they want? That just blows my mind. If I were you I'd lay into her. Tell her how many people out there want babies. If she is having a boy, tell her to put it up for adoption. Tell your mom not to feel obligated to raise the child. There are so many people out there who want children so desperately! I'd love to be a surrogate for people who can't have kids. This story seriously broke my heart!

Rachael-Dawn
by Bronze Member on Apr. 6, 2013 at 10:11 AM
Wow your are definitely in a spot my dear. Your gonna have to pull up your boot straps and figure out what relationship is most important to you and what kind of person you want to be. Your sister knew what she was doing when she did it. She needs to own it and either be the one to tell her "friend" just what kind of "friend" she is being if he won't do it. If the girl were her "friend" she wouldn't be sleeping with her boyfriend. I also think its pretty crummy she's putting you in this position. I don't have a clue what I would do. Best of luck babe and I hope that guy gets what he deserves.

Quoting _MommiiNina_:

 My brother was born Nov. 4th 2012. My mom is 46 years old. I love my brother and i love my mom this is not what this is about. LOL. My sister is going to be 22 years old and got pregnant by a low life who still lives with his baby mama. we shall call him david cause thats his name lol. my sisters name is Shell(thats what we will call her) well she is due in sept and im happy for her. this is going to be her first baby and im trying to make it a better situation than it is. i love my sister to death. but Davids other baby mama his g.f well she is one of my good friends and i haven't been able to tell her because my sister wants david to tell her, even though i know he won't do that. Should i tell her??? shes one of my best friends but i love my sister and want to respect her. But every time i see david and my sister together it makes me mad that they could do this, exp. cause my sister and davids g.f are "friends" idk. my other question is my sister said if she has a boy she doesn't want the baby so my mom feels obligagted to take the baby. we won't because im not up for open adoption, that just my preferance. but my mom is 46 and already had another baby. i don't feel my mom should have to care for her baby when she is 22 years old, has a job, and a place. and its unfair to the baby. i think its selfish she would only want the baby if the babys a girl. idk. i feel so confused on what to say or do in these situations??

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Rachael-Dawn
by Bronze Member on Apr. 6, 2013 at 10:13 AM
This too!

Quoting SaraNicole07:

This makes me sad. There are so many people who want to have babies and can't. They'd be happy with anything, and then there are people who wont keep their baby if its not the gender they want? That just blows my mind. If I were you I'd lay into her. Tell her how many people out there want babies. If she is having a boy, tell her to put it up for adoption. Tell your mom not to feel obligated to raise the child. There are so many people out there who want children so desperately! I'd love to be a surrogate for people who can't have kids. This story seriously broke my heart!

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_MommiiNina_
by on Apr. 6, 2013 at 10:24 AM

 yes me too. i am currently TTC my third so it makes me so sad that she would say this since we've been trying since nov 2011. i would take the baby if i knew i could trust her to not smoke weed or do drugs while being pregnant. idk. i think the same thing. there are so manyh people that want babies. idk i barley talk to her anymore she only calls when she needs a ride to work.

Quoting SaraNicole07:

This makes me sad. There are so many people who want to have babies and can't. They'd be happy with anything, and then there are people who wont keep their baby if its not the gender they want? That just blows my mind. If I were you I'd lay into her. Tell her how many people out there want babies. If she is having a boy, tell her to put it up for adoption. Tell your mom not to feel obligated to raise the child. There are so many people out there who want children so desperately! I'd love to be a surrogate for people who can't have kids. This story seriously broke my heart!

 

My Name is Christina. Im 24 yrs young. I have two kids Kaylee and Caleb and married the love of my life Dustin <3 Im currently TTC baby NUMBER 3 since NOV. 2011!!!!!
_MommiiNina_
by on Apr. 6, 2013 at 10:28 AM

 thank you so much! i don't talk to my sister that often. maybe oce a month when she calls for a ride to work. but i talk to "M' thas what we will call her,  i talk to her evveryday almost. idk if she wasn't my sister i wouldn't talk to her i think shes an awful person and i don't want my kids around that. DH thinks that i should keep M as a friend cause shes better to me than my own sister. Shell is making it very uncomfortable for me to even go to my mom's house. idk. i guess i need to take a LONG bath and have DH watch the kids and think about what needs to be done.

Quoting Rachael-Dawn:

Wow your are definitely in a spot my dear. Your gonna have to pull up your boot straps and figure out what relationship is most important to you and what kind of person you want to be. Your sister knew what she was doing when she did it. She needs to own it and either be the one to tell her "friend" just what kind of "friend" she is being if he won't do it. If the girl were her "friend" she wouldn't be sleeping with her boyfriend. I also think its pretty crummy she's putting you in this position. I don't have a clue what I would do. Best of luck babe and I hope that guy gets what he deserves.

Quoting _MommiiNina_:

 My brother was born Nov. 4th 2012. My mom is 46 years old. I love my brother and i love my mom this is not what this is about. LOL. My sister is going to be 22 years old and got pregnant by a low life who still lives with his baby mama. we shall call him david cause thats his name lol. my sisters name is Shell(thats what we will call her) well she is due in sept and im happy for her. this is going to be her first baby and im trying to make it a better situation than it is. i love my sister to death. but Davids other baby mama his g.f well she is one of my good friends and i haven't been able to tell her because my sister wants david to tell her, even though i know he won't do that. Should i tell her??? shes one of my best friends but i love my sister and want to respect her. But every time i see david and my sister together it makes me mad that they could do this, exp. cause my sister and davids g.f are "friends" idk. my other question is my sister said if she has a boy she doesn't want the baby so my mom feels obligagted to take the baby. we won't because im not up for open adoption, that just my preferance. but my mom is 46 and already had another baby. i don't feel my mom should have to care for her baby when she is 22 years old, has a job, and a place. and its unfair to the baby. i think its selfish she would only want the baby if the babys a girl. idk. i feel so confused on what to say or do in these situations??

 

My Name is Christina. Im 24 yrs young. I have two kids Kaylee and Caleb and married the love of my life Dustin <3 Im currently TTC baby NUMBER 3 since NOV. 2011!!!!!
GirlWSemiAuto
by on Apr. 6, 2013 at 10:34 AM
2 moms liked this

 I would tell the other girl and drop the sister like a hot potato. My sisters are very important to me, but it sounds like your sister has some growing up to do.

_MommiiNina_
by on Apr. 6, 2013 at 10:37 AM

 thats why its so hard. my sisters are very important but i just feel like im kinda being a hippocrit. like shes not someone i would hang out with if she wasn't my sister so i feel i sholdn't hang out with her since she is my sister and doing this.. does that make since

Quoting GirlWSemiAuto:

 I would tell the other girl and drop the sister like a hot potato. My sisters are very important to me, but it sounds like your sister has some growing up to do.

 

My Name is Christina. Im 24 yrs young. I have two kids Kaylee and Caleb and married the love of my life Dustin <3 Im currently TTC baby NUMBER 3 since NOV. 2011!!!!!
GirlWSemiAuto
by on Apr. 6, 2013 at 10:44 AM
1 mom liked this
That makes perfect sense to me. I couldn't be friends with someone like that or be around someone making those kinds of terrible choices, so I would have to just love her from afar and tell her that when she gets her life back on track I'd love to spend time with her again.
Quoting _MommiiNina_:

 thats why its so hard. my sisters are very important but i just feel like im kinda being a hippocrit. like shes not someone i would hang out with if she wasn't my sister so i feel i sholdn't hang out with her since she is my sister and doing this.. does that make since

Quoting GirlWSemiAuto:

 I would tell the other girl and drop the sister like a hot potato. My sisters are very important to me, but it sounds like your sister has some growing up to do.

 

_MommiiNina_
by on Apr. 6, 2013 at 10:46 AM

 that seems like perfect advice

Rachael-Dawn
by Bronze Member on Apr. 6, 2013 at 11:05 AM
I've been reading some of the other comments and I think I agree to an extent. Its called tough love. I think as your sister she needs to know you love her but that she's made horrible decisions and put you in this position. She's just going to have to learn to live with the fact she made her bed now she's gonna have to lay in it. I know that sounds really bad but she'll never grow up if she doesn't learn to take responsibility for her actions.

Quoting _MommiiNina_:

 thank you so much! i don't talk to my sister that often. maybe oce a month when she calls for a ride to work. but i talk to "M' thas what we will call her,  i talk to her evveryday almost. idk if she wasn't my sister i wouldn't talk to her i think shes an awful person and i don't want my kids around that. DH thinks that i should keep M as a friend cause shes better to me than my own sister. Shell is making it very uncomfortable for me to even go to my mom's house. idk. i guess i need to take a LONG bath and have DH watch the kids and think about what needs to be done.


Quoting Rachael-Dawn:

Wow your are definitely in a spot my dear. Your gonna have to pull up your boot straps and figure out what relationship is most important to you and what kind of person you want to be. Your sister knew what she was doing when she did it. She needs to own it and either be the one to tell her "friend" just what kind of "friend" she is being if he won't do it. If the girl were her "friend" she wouldn't be sleeping with her boyfriend. I also think its pretty crummy she's putting you in this position. I don't have a clue what I would do. Best of luck babe and I hope that guy gets what he deserves.


Quoting _MommiiNina_:


 My brother was born Nov. 4th 2012. My mom is 46 years old. I love my brother and i love my mom this is not what this is about. LOL. My sister is going to be 22 years old and got pregnant by a low life who still lives with his baby mama. we shall call him david cause thats his name lol. my sisters name is Shell(thats what we will call her) well she is due in sept and im happy for her. this is going to be her first baby and im trying to make it a better situation than it is. i love my sister to death. but Davids other baby mama his g.f well she is one of my good friends and i haven't been able to tell her because my sister wants david to tell her, even though i know he won't do that. Should i tell her??? shes one of my best friends but i love my sister and want to respect her. But every time i see david and my sister together it makes me mad that they could do this, exp. cause my sister and davids g.f are "friends" idk. my other question is my sister said if she has a boy she doesn't want the baby so my mom feels obligagted to take the baby. we won't because im not up for open adoption, that just my preferance. but my mom is 46 and already had another baby. i don't feel my mom should have to care for her baby when she is 22 years old, has a job, and a place. and its unfair to the baby. i think its selfish she would only want the baby if the babys a girl. idk. i feel so confused on what to say or do in these situations??


 

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