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How am I going to put this nicely?

Posted by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 3:49 PM
  • 11 Replies

My cousin is 28, has no desire to leave her parents house, reads at a third grade level and has a 4year old daughter. Not to sound harsh but it took her 6 months to read Twilight (The first and shortest book of the series) You can't say she's a mom she doesn't have time to read books, her mom takes care of her daughter all the time. I used to until I stopped recently.

Here's the real problem, she wants to home-school her kid. I know her, she won't keep it up, she'll get bored and the kid will fall behind. Her mom won't help with that either, she's lazy too. Cousin asked me what I thought about it. I haven't responded. She thinks by home schooling her daughter CPS won't be as involved. She has CPS on her tail right now because of her behavior at the daycare she had her at after I quit watching her. The kid LOVES to bite and kick. I got tired of it and her erratic sleeping patterns. I know nothing is wrong with the kid herself, just honestly lousy parenting.

What I'm trying to word nicely is; We both know you're not going to keep up with her schooling, put the kid to sleep at night and get her socialized and put her in school. We don't want her to be like you, a person who can't keep a job because of never sticking to something. (She's never held a real job in her life, she'll work somewhere for three weeks and then gets fired for missing too much)

by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 3:49 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Nicoles2LilRams
by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 3:56 PM

Oh wow.. Did she graduate HS?  If not, that's an easy thing to point out and say.

Sometimes putting it nicely is overrated.  Just tell her all the reasons why it's a shitty idea.

but if she DOES try to homeschool, I'm sure she'll just give up and put her in school anyway, right?

MaryCimino
by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 4:01 PM

Only reason she "graduated" HS is because in our state unless you go for a GED you're booted out at 21. She has a certificate that says she's done 12 years of school but not able to do the work. It's not the exact same as a diploma.

I seriously doubt she would give up and put her in school because then CPS will be knocking at the door asking why can't she spell cat in the second grade. Her mom wouldn't like the idea of them back.


Quoting Nicoles2LilRams:

Oh wow.. Did she graduate HS?  If not, that's an easy thing to point out and say.

Sometimes putting it nicely is overrated.  Just tell her all the reasons why it's a shitty idea.

but if she DOES try to homeschool, I'm sure she'll just give up and put her in school anyway, right?



heartagram_girl
by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 5:08 PM

 Dont be nice about it. Sugar coating it isnt going to help or make her pay attention. I dont know about where you live, but down here, a child being home schooled still had to have lesson plans submitted to the Board of Education in order to be approved for homeschooling each year. And that kid has to come to the BoE to get tested every few months, to make sure they are learning.

She is being irresponsible. Obviously it is her needs before her kids. Home schooling a child is a LOT of hard work.

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breeking
by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 5:42 PM

I agree with the others. Sometimes you can't sugar coat things. Sometimes it just has to come out to get the point across!!!!

jojo_star
by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 6:40 PM

In a situation like that, I don't know that I would talk to her, it sounds like she wouldn't be receptive at all. I would try, just tell her that it is in her child's best interest to go to school. Then call CPS and make sure they are aware of the situation. Unfortunately, not all states have laws that regulate homeschooling so it's possible that the child will be screwed either way, but at least you'll have tried. 

k9l1c5
by Ruby Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 7:57 PM
I don't know that I would be able to say anything without being blunt about it. She probably wouldn't even get approved to home school though from what you're saying.
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MaryS92
by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 9:01 PM
If I were you I would tell her to not home school and put the child in a REAL school so she can make something out of herself. If CPS does come and take the child which they probably will eventually it sounds like it is just a matter of time then it is her problem! The child will be better off and will not end up in an alley or on a street corner!
MaryCimino
by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 9:06 PM

I'm thinking about calling CPS about this, telling them what's going on. She's terrified they're going to take her away. Maybe a higher official saying this will get it through to her. Let's keep our fingers crossed.

LizLestrange
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 12:57 PM

I would call CPS anyway. That child needs a better mother. Not someone who's too lazy to even raise her! 

1sttimemom12
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 1:04 PM

I would cut to the chase.   If you really want to help the child, call CPS. At the very least, the kid's being neglected.   I woluld notify them of the home school plan too.  It wouldn't work but you can at least help the child thrive not just survive.   The baby needs a MOTHER.  That's the whole problem in a nutshell.  

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