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SOS

Posted by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 5:43 PM
  • 12 Replies

o-k so im waiting to poas again...all the pregnancies before have ended in a miscarraige so I'm nervous.   Also, I have a problem...technically if I am pregnanythe baby's dad isn't my husband and yes he knows that. I was...taken advantage of..by someone I used to trust that has a job I'd hate to PO. My husband knows and he's not upset since it wasn't like I willingly did anything but we are in a posistion and half. What work options we have don't pay worth snuff so we live with another family. We have a room...this is why my hubby and I started using condoms(hormones do crazy things to me so wasn't a option).  Now, this situation and idk...like is it bad to still be like this is MY KID anyways? I'm waiting on the call to see if I got another job or not. hubby works for peanuts.  But this kid'smine...I can't kill it or give it up no matter who the dad is.   The needs are a car, another place to live, all the baby stuff.   So far, I have a passy...and 2 13 oz cans of baby formula.  It was a random sample thing so I took it and have coupons good til june this year for more fomula which if this thing sticks around I'll get just before they run out.   I'm fairly certain it'll be positive...idk how to do it so any ideas ladies?  

by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 5:43 PM
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Replies (1-10):
brittany208
by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 5:53 PM
1 mom liked this

If I were in your situation, I would keep the baby and treat baby just like he was mine and DHs. Itd be really hard, but we would figure it out somehow. And I know my DH would feel the exact same way.

frndlyfn
by Silver Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 5:54 PM
1 mom liked this

When you get a positive, go to dept of social services to see what financial help you can get and then WIC also will help supplement formula if you are going that route.  I personally would not since it would save you 100s of dollars to just breastfeed the baby.  When the baby is born, of course have your husband sign birth certificate so the other person is not even involved.    I would have pressed charges against the person who pushed unwanted attention on me.

brittany208
by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 5:55 PM

And if you dont think you can keep the baby, knowing how he/she was conceived, or if you really feel you cant take care of him/her, adoption is always a good option. There is nothing wrong with giving the child the BEST life you can--whether that's with you or with someone else.

1sttimemom12
by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 6:00 PM


Yeah I'll keep it. It's MY BABY but jsut overwhelming. Hubby's on board about raising the wee one.  I just don't know how we'll do it.   I'velost so many prenancies before...it's almost a blessing but then it so sucks but (s)he's mine if it makes it all the way so that's how we'll do this.   thank you. aftr the birth, I'll do the legal stuff in regards to how this happened...but not til then.  I don't want to dna test until birth...

Quoting brittany208:

If I were in your situation, I would keep the baby and treat baby just like he was mine and DHs. Itd be really hard, but we would figure it out somehow. And I know my DH would feel the exact same way.



pancake.
by In LaFawnduh on Apr. 8, 2013 at 6:06 PM
I was raped.

My daughter is almost four.

It's tough, but you can do it. If hubby is supportive, just raise the baby together. Hugs. You can PM me if you want.
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1sttimemom12
by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 6:14 PM

I'll wait until after birth because dna testing while still pregnant can cause pregnancy lost.   I'm not sure if hubby signing the birth certificate will do anything cause that's saying it's HIS but it isn't so I'm not sure how the law would look on that but I would hope given the situation and a lawyer that with my husband being the only dad the kid will know it wouldnt matter and theyd look at it as protecting my childfrom...him...I jsut don't want to lose this one, so I'll wait to do something more than keep looking for work and get up baby stuff. I do want to breastfeed but know the baby may not take to it, as I didn't with my Mom, so I want to be prepared for both.   I'll keep looking for work and go downtown when I get the positive. I'veused cheaper tests that the dye really sucked in...3  and they're positive...so Idk if it was just the tests were cheap and suck or not.  I bought 7 and only 3 worked.  That's why this Friday I get the First Response ones instead or Clear Blue something more pricey but trusted brand and generally accurate.   If I can't getthe test donefriday, I'll do it over the weekend and then cal Monday about dr appt.  I  ccan't take no chances when I've lost 3 before this one.   It maybe my only chance so I cant waste it.  I hope by Thursday I get a call about he job. That'd help a lot but by no means would it be worry free.   It's Sheetz at 7.85 an hr and at first im only going to get tops 20 hours done been told that much.  I guess til Friday I won't realyl have the confirmation by something I know is  accucate so that's the hold up  right now.   Thanks.


Quoting frndlyfn:

When you get a positive, go to dept of social services to see what financial help you can get and then WIC also will help supplement formula if you are going that route.  I personally would not since it would save you 100s of dollars to just breastfeed the baby.  When the baby is born, of course have your husband sign birth certificate so the other person is not even involved.    I would have pressed charges against the person who pushed unwanted attention on me.



frndlyfn
by Silver Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 6:18 PM

Seeing as you have lost other pregnancies, the doctor may deem this a high risk one as well and not want you to work.  If that is the case perhaps look into a grant or something to help continue your schooling through online or an actual brick mortar building.

I was not able to be breastfeed supposedly due to being allergic to the milk but my dd was a champion at it.  She was an extended nurser to boot.  Look into a lactation consultant to help you with that.

For me , i went to planned parenthood for a urine test and then they did a blood test as well to confirm pregnancy since i did not have insurance for an actual doctor.  As soon as i found out it was positive, i did get insurance.

Good luck with the job search either way.


Quoting 1sttimemom12:

I'll wait until after birth because dna testing while still pregnant can cause pregnancy lost.   I'm not sure if hubby signing the birth certificate will do anything cause that's saying it's HIS but it isn't so I'm not sure how the law would look on that but I would hope given the situation and a lawyer that with my husband being the only dad the kid will know it wouldnt matter and theyd look at it as protecting my childfrom...him...I jsut don't want to lose this one, so I'll wait to do something more than keep looking for work and get up baby stuff. I do want to breastfeed but know the baby may not take to it, as I didn't with my Mom, so I want to be prepared for both.   I'll keep looking for work and go downtown when I get the positive. I'veused cheaper tests that the dye really sucked in...3  and they're positive...so Idk if it was just the tests were cheap and suck or not.  I bought 7 and only 3 worked.  That's why this Friday I get the First Response ones instead or Clear Blue something more pricey but trusted brand and generally accurate.   If I can't getthe test donefriday, I'll do it over the weekend and then cal Monday about dr appt.  I  ccan't take no chances when I've lost 3 before this one.   It maybe my only chance so I cant waste it.  I hope by Thursday I get a call about he job. That'd help a lot but by no means would it be worry free.   It's Sheetz at 7.85 an hr and at first im only going to get tops 20 hours done been told that much.  I guess til Friday I won't realyl have the confirmation by something I know is  accucate so that's the hold up  right now.   Thanks.


Quoting frndlyfn:

When you get a positive, go to dept of social services to see what financial help you can get and then WIC also will help supplement formula if you are going that route.  I personally would not since it would save you 100s of dollars to just breastfeed the baby.  When the baby is born, of course have your husband sign birth certificate so the other person is not even involved.    I would have pressed charges against the person who pushed unwanted attention on me.





jojo_star
by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 6:42 PM

I'm so sorry you went through that :( 

If you plan to keep the baby, go to your local health department and find out what financial assitance you qualify for. My son is the result of rape, it isn't easy to keep a child concieved that way, but if you want to do that, and your husband will support you and accept the child, go for it. My son is the light of my life. I wish you luck. 

1sttimemom12
by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 6:58 PM


thak you so much. I hope you don't mind, I sent you a friend request.  We have thought about adoption once we get our own place until this happened. Hubby's like well we don't have to adopt if it sticks this time. I'll test with Firt Response this weekend then Monday will go downtown to planned parenthood and get it confirmed so I can get some assistance.  I also journal so I've bought one of those pregnancy to like 5 yr old journals for this one.   I just want it tobe ok. 

Quoting jojo_star:

I'm so sorry you went through that :( 

If you plan to keep the baby, go to your local health department and find out what financial assitance you qualify for. My son is the result of rape, it isn't easy to keep a child concieved that way, but if you want to do that, and your husband will support you and accept the child, go for it. My son is the light of my life. I wish you luck. 



katvixenstar
by Bronze Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 12:47 PM

if you do breastfeed the baby and get WIC, they keep you on longer. it used to be for just 6 months, but with my son they kept me on for a year. that can really help a lot too.

Quoting frndlyfn:

When you get a positive, go to dept of social services to see what financial help you can get and then WIC also will help supplement formula if you are going that route.  I personally would not since it would save you 100s of dollars to just breastfeed the baby.  When the baby is born, of course have your husband sign birth certificate so the other person is not even involved.    I would have pressed charges against the person who pushed unwanted attention on me.


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