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Got pregnant before I met my boyfriend. Now he wants me to abort it. Advice?

Posted by on Apr. 17, 2013 at 7:13 PM
  • 96 Replies

Hi. My name is Anisah and I'm 10 weeks pregnant now. I also met my current boyfriend 2 and a half months ago. When I found out I was pregnant we both thought it was his and we were both scared but happy. Then I found out how far along I was and knew that this pregnancy was the result of an a sexual relationship that I recently had with my supervisor. I informed him of the pregnancy and he told me he can't afford to help me and I should have an abortion. My boyfriend is hurt that what seems to begin as a very promising relationship has come to such bump in the road and wants me to have an abortion as well.

I don't want any of you ladies to think these guys are pushing me in a direction I don't want to go in. The truth is that I'm not sure if I want this baby but I don't want to kill it either. Putting it up for adoption is also a painful option. My mother grew up in foster care and so did my boyfriend.

I'm also still in college and work full time to pay for it. I rent a room from my father and I know I can provide for this child with hard work and savings, while setting myself back in school. But I 'm not sure if I can live with the reminder of who the father is as well as the reminder that she/he won't have a father at all. I'm not at all assuming that my boyfriend will be around whether I abort the baby or not. What I want to know is what's best for the baby? To not attempt to give it life, which may be filled with much emptiness and instability? Or should I just go along with it and hope I can give this kid a better life alone and I did having both my parent

by on Apr. 17, 2013 at 7:13 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Mommy4-27-08
by Silver Member on Apr. 17, 2013 at 7:19 PM
1 mom liked this
Only you know what's right for you. You will be the one to live with your decision, not any of the other people in your life, so you need to make the decision.

Good luck!
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brittany208
by on Apr. 17, 2013 at 7:30 PM
3 moms liked this

Honestly, if I was with someone telling me to have an abortion, I wouldnt be with them anymore. I know its a really hard place to be in, but its not baby's fault. If it were *me* I'd either have the baby and figure it out somehow, or give the baby to someone who could give him/her a good life. Yes, growing up in foster care can suck, but not living at all sucks even worse, IMO. and besides, I would think infants would get adopted through adoption agencies, not go into foster care anyways.

BUFFIE.the.BODY
by on Apr. 17, 2013 at 7:31 PM
O_0
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INIpossibility
by on Apr. 17, 2013 at 7:44 PM
1 mom liked this

Thank you...Is it bad that I wouldn't mind having it if it's a girl but would be pissed if I decided to keep it and it were a boy...I just...I don't know. Boy's need their fathers, right? I have no clue about raising a boy

raye-chan
by Raye on Apr. 17, 2013 at 7:45 PM
1 mom liked this

In the end it is your choice. You do what you feel is right for you and that's what matters the most. All the choices have consequences, no matter which route you take. The question is why is your boyfriend wants you to have an abortion as well? That's not very supportive of him honestly in my opinion. Aborting the baby will not solve problems to be honest. It could make things worse since abortion does hurt everyone involved. 

Like I said, do what's best for you but look into each decision carefully. That way you can make the best choice for you  and not let yourself be pressured by these guys. 

raye-chan
by Raye on Apr. 17, 2013 at 7:46 PM
1 mom liked this

What would be wrong with raising a boy? o.O

Quoting INIpossibility:

Thank you...Is it bad that I wouldn't mind having it if it's a girl but would be pissed if I decided to keep it and it were a boy...I just...I don't know. Boy's need their fathers, right? I have no clue about raising a boy


sugareemommee
by on Apr. 17, 2013 at 7:46 PM
Ummm...

That's a little sad. :(

I think you should go with your gut. No one can tell you what the right decision is.


Quoting INIpossibility:

Thank you...Is it bad that I wouldn't mind having it if it's a girl but would be pissed if I decided to keep it and it were a boy...I just...I don't know. Boy's need their fathers, right? I have no clue about raising a boy


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INIpossibility
by on Apr. 17, 2013 at 7:48 PM

Thank you for you advice. It is a harsh thing for a boyfriend to suggest that I abort but, like I said I'm not totally against it. So at one point he and I were on the same page. That probably doesn't negate your statement though.

INIpossibility
by on Apr. 17, 2013 at 7:52 PM

Nothing is wrong about raising a boy I just have no idea how to do it. My only experience with taking care of babies was with my baby sister and my two nieces. The only boy in my family is my older brother. I'm just saying having a girl would be less traumatic for me.

raye-chan
by Raye on Apr. 17, 2013 at 8:10 PM

Just an FYI, if you want to quote a person's message, go to their message and hit the "Quote" button. It'll help us who are wondering if this is directed at them or someone else. <3

Quoting INIpossibility:

that was great...very supportive. Are you a mom yet? Is there any such thing as getting yourself out of a mess as a mom. I'm not even a mom yet and I know it's not easy. Don't make this seem more simple than it is. Im here for supportive advice. Keep your messages for the bathroom stalls.


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