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Is this wrong? Just wondering what you ladies think?

Posted by on May. 8, 2013 at 11:11 PM
  • 35 Replies
I want one more child (we have 2 already). My dh was fine with this, we have a 5 yr old and a 9 yr old. For the last year he says we are done. I still want 1 more so bad. It seems like tons of females/other moms just say to stop taking my bc (I have an IUD, not so simple). But, am I the only one that finds it wr ong to stop taking bc w/o telling your s/o? Am I the only one that feels this way? How can I get dh to change his m.ind?
by on May. 8, 2013 at 11:11 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Nicoles2LilRams
by on May. 8, 2013 at 11:15 PM
I wouldn't do that, it needs to be a decision you make together. I'm sure he's told you his reasons for not wanting another? if not, ask him to write them down, and then you write why you think you should try again. If he still doesn't agree....well I'm sorry, but you don't want to be dishonest, right? So maybe you'll have to just lee that go :(
twokids0407
by Bronze Member on May. 8, 2013 at 11:22 PM
He just says no, one time he will say money, then he will just say not now. we can afford another. I do think it is wrong/dishonest, that is why i feel stuck.


Quoting Nicoles2LilRams:

I wouldn't do that, it needs to be a decision you make together. I'm sure he's told you his reasons for not wanting another? if not, ask him to write them down, and then you write why you think you should try again. If he still doesn't agree....well I'm sorry, but you don't want to be dishonest, right? So maybe you'll have to just lee that go :(

Nicoles2LilRams
by on May. 8, 2013 at 11:25 PM
I understand..we go back and forth about having another also, but I still have Terri years with my iud so we have some time to decide still.
It could just be that he's comfortable with the family as is. Could you agree to take it for a year or so and talk about it again?


Quoting twokids0407:

He just says no, one time he will say money, then he will just say not now. we can afford another. I do think it is wrong/dishonest, that is why i feel stuck.




Quoting Nicoles2LilRams:

I wouldn't do that, it needs to be a decision you make together. I'm sure he's told you his reasons for not wanting another? if not, ask him to write them down, and then you write why you think you should try again. If he still doesn't agree....well I'm sorry, but you don't want to be dishonest, right? So maybe you'll have to just lee that go :(

Nicoles2LilRams
by on May. 8, 2013 at 11:26 PM
*two years
twokids0407
by Bronze Member on May. 8, 2013 at 11:46 PM
That is what I thought, I have been wanting another For 2yrs now. I just didnt want my oldest and youngest to be too far apart in age. I just feel so helpless...I didnt think I would feel this Way, even though it was a possibility, I just cant get past the thought that we could be done. My heart breaks every time I think about being done. I cry a lot of night, I'm not ready to say no more. Sry didnt mean to go into all that


Quoting Nicoles2LilRams:

I understand..we go back and forth about having another also, but I still have Terri years with my iud so we have some time to decide still.

It could just be that he's comfortable with the family as is. Could you agree to take it for a year or so and talk about it again?




Quoting twokids0407:

He just says no, one time he will say money, then he will just say not now. we can afford another. I do think it is wrong/dishonest, that is why i feel stuck.






Quoting Nicoles2LilRams:

I wouldn't do that, it needs to be a decision you make together. I'm sure he's told you his reasons for not wanting another? if not, ask him to write them down, and then you write why you think you should try again. If he still doesn't agree....well I'm sorry, but you don't want to be dishonest, right? So maybe you'll have to just lee that go :(


Nicoles2LilRams
by on May. 8, 2013 at 11:57 PM
Aww hun, its ok!
:: hugs::
Its a big decision and you obviously have a lot of love to give.
I hope you can find a way to change his mind OR find something else to fill this need. I'm not religious, but if you are, its definitely something to pray about and ask for guidance


Quoting twokids0407:

That is what I thought, I have been wanting another For 2yrs now. I just didnt want my oldest and youngest to be too far apart in age. I just feel so helpless...I didnt think I would feel this Way, even though it was a possibility, I just cant get past the thought that we could be done. My heart breaks every time I think about being done. I cry a lot of night, I'm not ready to say no more. Sry didnt mean to go into all that




Quoting Nicoles2LilRams:

I understand..we go back and forth about having another also, but I still have Terri years with my iud so we have some time to decide still.


It could just be that he's comfortable with the family as is. Could you agree to take it for a year or so and talk about it again?






Quoting twokids0407:

He just says no, one time he will say money, then he will just say not now. we can afford another. I do think it is wrong/dishonest, that is why i feel stuck.








Quoting Nicoles2LilRams:

I wouldn't do that, it needs to be a decision you make together. I'm sure he's told you his reasons for not wanting another? if not, ask him to write them down, and then you write why you think you should try again. If he still doesn't agree....well I'm sorry, but you don't want to be dishonest, right? So maybe you'll have to just lee that go :(


twokids0407
by Bronze Member on May. 9, 2013 at 12:06 AM
Thank you! I have been praying to find the right path, but havent found what if is yet .


Quoting Nicoles2LilRams:

Aww hun, its ok!

:: hugs::

Its a big decision and you obviously have a lot of love to give.

I hope you can find a way to change his mind OR find something else to fill this need. I'm not religious, but if you are, its definitely something to pray about and ask for guidance




Quoting twokids0407:

That is what I thought, I have been wanting another For 2yrs now. I just didnt want my oldest and youngest to be too far apart in age. I just feel so helpless...I didnt think I would feel this Way, even though it was a possibility, I just cant get past the thought that we could be done. My heart breaks every time I think about being done. I cry a lot of night, I'm not ready to say no more. Sry didnt mean to go into all that






Quoting Nicoles2LilRams:

I understand..we go back and forth about having another also, but I still have Terri years with my iud so we have some time to decide still.



It could just be that he's comfortable with the family as is. Could you agree to take it for a year or so and talk about it again?








Quoting twokids0407:

He just says no, one time he will say money, then he will just say not now. we can afford another. I do think it is wrong/dishonest, that is why i feel stuck.










Quoting Nicoles2LilRams:

I wouldn't do that, it needs to be a decision you make together. I'm sure he's told you his reasons for not wanting another? if not, ask him to write them down, and then you write why you think you should try again. If he still doesn't agree....well I'm sorry, but you don't want to be dishonest, right? So maybe you'll have to just lee that go :(



k9l1c5
by Ruby Member on May. 9, 2013 at 7:44 AM

I don't think it's right to stop taking your bc without telling your dh. You guys should talk about it and decide to have another one together, or even decide together that you get your IUD out and not necessarily try but not prevent either.

twokids0407
by Bronze Member on May. 9, 2013 at 8:43 AM
I wont do that, i think its wrong. It just seems weird that if the convo comes up a lot of people around here tell me to do it. I will NOT, i just didnt know if a lot of people usually do this. I just dont know how to convince dh not wait...at one point he felt like he was too old to have anymore (which is not true).


Quoting k9l1c5:

I don't think it's right to stop taking your bc without telling your dh. You guys should talk about it and decide to have another one together, or even decide together that you get your IUD out and not necessarily try but not prevent either.


geekymom08
by Bronze Member on May. 9, 2013 at 8:59 AM

Im in a simalar boat. I have a 5 year old and want another child. My husband keeps saying he wants another one... but not right now. He has given me his reasons. I have been told so many times that I should stop taking the pill and tell him that accidents happen on the pill. Sometimes, it doesnt work. One.... I think is just wrong to do that. Two, a baby should be a mutural decision. And three, if I did that, I would lose my trustworthyness with him and could ruin our marriage.

I have decided that if he doesnt want another baby, since we have no pets, we should get a puppy!! He said its a good idea and that we should look into it and see if its an option.

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