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20 Something Moms 20 Something Moms

curious for input

Posted by on Jun. 16, 2013 at 12:16 AM
  • 7 Replies
I was married for a year and a half. After a rocky year where he would constantly put me down, tell me that my concerns were irrelevant and if I said I was unhappy he told me to "go cry about it" and otherwise was negative and borderline emotionally abusive, I decided to end it. I took my daughter (he's not the biological father) and moved in with my parents. He wanted to stay a part of my dd's life and I was OK with it since her biological father ran out long ago. I told him upfront that if he tried to use her as a pawn or tried to use her to punish me, I would stop. When I got the remainder of my stuff out and refused to continue rehashing what had happened, he stopped seeing her, sending her messages through me, or having any other contact with her. This includes telling me happy mothers day but not her happy birthday (they fell on the same day this year). She has just, after 2 months,stopped asking why he doesn't call or see her. And now he wants to see her again. He says its my fault he didn't see her and he didn't tell her happy birthday because he was mad I bought her a bike earlier this spring. At this point I would honestly just not have him in her life since he pulled this. Am I wrong?
by on Jun. 16, 2013 at 12:16 AM
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Replies (1-7):
PinkHart
by on Jun. 16, 2013 at 1:23 AM
You gave him a chance he blew it.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Emmaplush
by on Jun. 16, 2013 at 2:17 AM

I wouldn't give him a second thought, ur daughter deserves better :) 

k9l1c5
by Ruby Member on Jun. 16, 2013 at 8:48 AM

If she has already forgot about him then I would just say no to him. There's no guarantee he would stay in her life this time, since he left before. And getting mad about something petty and not telling a child Happy Birthday that you supposedly care about is just wrong. I would cut ties.

ShireeCS
by Shiree on Jun. 16, 2013 at 5:50 PM
I would cut him loose he has no real ties to her
mama2b100808
by Mandy on Jun. 16, 2013 at 7:34 PM
He isn't her father so he needs to move on. She doesn't need him in her life if he is going to do that.
nelliesmommy
by Nadia on Jun. 16, 2013 at 9:26 PM
Tell the loser to get lost. Both you and your kid desearve better.
jaimescrra
by on Jun. 16, 2013 at 10:01 PM

You are most definitly not wrong. You are only doing what any caring mother does and that looking out for the best interest of your daughter.(not him). you should not value his feelings or his opions for the simple fact he did not value yours. so he will most likely try to just use your sympatyhy to manipulate you into thinking you are wrong for what your doing and hes the victim. and even if he is just "borderline" emotionallly abusive reagardless it is NOT to be taken lighltly . It is worser than physical abuse and will diminish your self worth and alot more that takes longer to heal verses physical..Keeping your daughter away from an individual with that type of character is smart.not wrong. Go with your motherly insticts nespecially if youdont plan on getting back with him at all it will only make things stressful .  sorry would type more but my computer is messing up on me. best of blessings!

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