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Why is it hard to find friends when you have children?

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I just need advice on this. I been feeling down lately like it seems like no one wants to talk to me at all. Why do I feel like that?

by on Jun. 21, 2013 at 12:19 AM
Replies (11-20):
kittycait19
by on Jun. 21, 2013 at 6:21 PM

I get it... I lost all my friends when I got pregnant. And all my husbands friends dont have kids and think they're an inconvience. so they dont want to hang out with us either. I try to have my oldest play with her cousins but they are HUGE brats. and my SIL smokes... cant have that around my kids. or me for that matter. I wish I had someone to talk to or hang out with. 

villagemamma
by on Jun. 21, 2013 at 10:11 PM

It is hard... Moms are naturally competitive with each other and kids adds a new element to the competitive nature. So its hard your kids are the same age because then its a constant "can your kid do this?" or if they have a kid thats older then yours they think it is their place to tell you how to raise your kids...

Then on the other hand having friends that dont have kids they have no clue what things are like with a kid and therefore dont realize the planning and such involved in doing things with kids or finding a sitter to do things without kids.

vvinkyloafer
by on Jun. 21, 2013 at 10:20 PM
Probably because everyone wants to go out and party & you would rather play with the baby.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
TheBabyFactory4
by on Jun. 22, 2013 at 2:09 AM
It gets easier as they get older and in school and into extra curricular activities. My only good friend moved away when she got married. We both had our first within a couple of months of each other. So she would have been perfect to have around. Then our 2nd ones are 2 months apart and our 4th ones are 3 weeks apart. I had my 3rd much sooner than she did. Mine is 6 and hers is 3. Lol. Well anyway I found a new friend when my 3rd started prek. Well her 3rd dd is a day younger than my ds and they have been bf/gf since first day if prek. The irony of it that was we actually met at our 8 year olds spring performance the previous school year in the bleachers. Our pre schoolers started playing in the bleachers together and we got a cute pic of them laying on their bellies next to each other. They say they will get married. Lol. Well this spring 2 of my older ones started softball and baseball and i met more parents. And i also made friends with my new friends best friend and now we all hang out.
Bauxite-17
by on Jun. 22, 2013 at 2:20 AM

 I actually recently found a friend. My husbands cousins gf. Who has a dd with him. They are staying with my in laws for a little bit while they get on their feet, and I've been hanging out with her a lot. I have a friend from high school that has a kid, but I hardly really hang out with her. So, I kinda have no friends, until I met my husbands cousins gf, lol. You kinda gotta get out there and go to parks and chit chat with people until you find someone you can be friends with. Its hard. I got lucky with my cousins gf.

jessdeanne92
by Member on Jun. 22, 2013 at 8:13 AM
Quoting CodJesKai:

I feel the same way. That why I got on here. Thru only group we have has a month fee and I'm not gonna pay money to have friends. Where are you from?




I don't have any groups here where I live since it's small town, and I'm from Texas.
jessdeanne92
by Member on Jun. 22, 2013 at 8:17 AM
Quoting Courtney610:

It's harder because everyone is so busy. Are you a part of any play groups? Are your kids in any activities?



Yeah that's so true, pretty much people are busy doing stuff. There isn't any groups where I'm from since it's a small town. I only have one child and she is almost 14 months old. How many children do you have?
k9l1c5
by Ruby Member on Jun. 22, 2013 at 8:30 AM

I don't have much advice on this topic... I lost a lot of friends when I got pregnant and really only have one mom friend who is a friend I had before I was pregnant. I think it's harder to make friends now because I am less trusting of people... since I have a little one to protect it's hard to open up to new people unlike before having kids.

jessdeanne92
by Member on Jun. 22, 2013 at 6:35 PM

 


Quoting kittycait19:

I get it... I lost all my friends when I got pregnant. And all my husbands friends dont have kids and think they're an inconvience. so they dont want to hang out with us either. I try to have my oldest play with her cousins but they are HUGE brats. and my SIL smokes... cant have that around my kids. or me for that matter. I wish I had someone to talk to or hang out with. 

Yeah I know what you mean, like my daughter has cousins that are really spoiled! I don't want her to be like that I just hope she doesn't. But yeah I wish I had someone to talk to.

 

mp0264
by on Jun. 22, 2013 at 9:05 PM

 I am going through the SAME thing. We have to drive from South Austin to Leander. I love my friends with babies, but I am always thinking, "Why can't they do the same for me?" lol

i feel exactly the same way. All my friends who are moms themselves lives furthur away and they don't come see me. I always have to take the time to see them when hubby and I go to Austin from Houston every month or so. It would be nice if they would take the time to visit us as we do with them (sorry ranting). There are no playgroups that i could get into that are free. most have a fee, and I refuse to pay to make friends. and some are 'closed' playgroup which i don't understand why...so annoying. 

Another friend of mine, who is a stepmother actually referred me to cafe mom. Its nice to be able to connect with other moms online who knows what I'm going through. Being on Cafemom helps but it would be lovely to meet people in person too. 

 

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