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Any military girlfriends/wives?

Posted by on Jun. 23, 2013 at 4:46 PM
  • 14 Replies
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My boyfriend was in the Navy for 3 years. He went straight out of high school. He served a years deployment in Iraq while going IA with the Marines. Since I met him, I knew he wanted to go back into the military. He always told me he hated civilian life, espeically since he's never had a 9-5 job. He's going to school to become a mechanic but he still wants to join the Army once he loses weight. 

I'm not against him going in, I'm actually very proud of him. Plus I know a big reason he wants to go in is to help support me and my son. We're basically engaged, we've talked about it for a while. He's just trying to pay off my ring first before he asks officially. I know it'll be hard. It's hard not seeing him for a week, I know it'll be 100x harder once he goes on deployment. I'm trying to support him as much as I can while he gets ready to get in shape for the recuiter. (I'm already crying writing this lol) My cousin is in the Army and while him and his ex-wife were together, I saw how hard it was on her. I know it'll be super hard for me, but he's been so supportive through a lot of my stuff. I know I gotta be behind him, even though it hurts knowing he'll be gone for long periods of time. 

For any of you military spouces, how did you prepare yourself? How did you cope once he was gone? 

Mommy of 2 year old Brooklyn Claire up in heaven, 17 month old Dominic Michael, 15 year old Tabby cat Tiger, 8 month old Rottweiler/Pitbull mix Nala, 2 year old guinea pigs Brownie & Cleopatria. Becoming Vegan. Young mommy. Pro-Choice. Metal head. Rap and Hip-Hop lover. Tattooed. Inspiring hair dresser. Earth is my home, I will keep her clean. Future Army Wife.

by on Jun. 23, 2013 at 4:46 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mama2b100808
by Mandy on Jun. 23, 2013 at 5:00 PM

I really hope you find your answer. I wish I could help you but my husband isn't in the army or anything. :) good luck. 

BroCosMom
by Bronze Member on Jun. 23, 2013 at 5:04 PM
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I always knew I wanted to marry a soldier, my dad is still in the army has been for 26 years now my husband only did 5 years in the army and yes it was tough especially when he went on his second deployment when our older was 4 months old and he was gone for 15 months, but I knew what I was getting Into its def harder your husband deploying over your dad, and it def doesn't get easier but you do her used to it, I say keep busy and focus on the end :-)
Rodpie
by on Jun. 23, 2013 at 5:11 PM

I dont want to come off as harsh, but u just do it. You have to be supportive of his dreams and just hope for the best.  Keep yourself busy with your child and a good support system.  My DH was an EMT as a civillian and decided he wanted to join the millitary as a combat medic.  Im scared everyday for him but I know theres less than 1% of our population that is willing to fight for our country.  If this is what he wants support his decsion and be there for him every step of the way because it is a very comendable thing to do.  Hope this helps...

gabrielat
by on Jun. 23, 2013 at 5:31 PM
1 mom liked this

No I understand. I'm not saying that I'm not supportive. I'm very proud of him and I've been trying to push him to do this every time he says he has second thoughts. We went to this military store a few months back, they sell military clothes and stuff like that, and when we got out I could see the light in his eyes when he talked about going back in. I know this is what he wants, regaurdless of how it effects me. That's why I push him when he thinks twice about it. Because I know the only reason he does have second thoughts is because he knows it'll be hard on me and my son. But he's the rock in this family and I'm just trying to show him as much as I can that I'm there for whatever decision he makes. 

Quoting Rodpie:

I dont want to come off as harsh, but u just do it. You have to be supportive of his dreams and just hope for the best.  Keep yourself busy with your child and a good support system.  My DH was an EMT as a civillian and decided he wanted to join the millitary as a combat medic.  Im scared everyday for him but I know theres less than 1% of our population that is willing to fight for our country.  If this is what he wants support his decsion and be there for him every step of the way because it is a very comendable thing to do.  Hope this helps...


Mommy of 2 year old Brooklyn Claire up in heaven, 17 month old Dominic Michael, 15 year old Tabby cat Tiger, 8 month old Rottweiler/Pitbull mix Nala, 2 year old guinea pigs Brownie & Cleopatria. Becoming Vegan. Young mommy. Pro-Choice. Metal head. Rap and Hip-Hop lover. Tattooed. Inspiring hair dresser. Earth is my home, I will keep her clean. Future Army Wife.

tiredme
by Member on Jun. 23, 2013 at 10:42 PM

My dh was in the Marine Corp for 4 years (before we met) and always talked about going back in.  I finally told him to do it and he tried for about 2 years to get back in but with the economy the way it is and military cutbacks (plus the fact that recruiters, at least marine, don't get credit for re enlistments) they didn't take him back.  He decided to join the National Guard instead, he hasn't deployed yet but he did have to go for training for a month.  It wasn't easy (for him or us) but we talked everyday and just got through it.  He has now decided not to reenlist once this contract is up because it was too hard for him to be away from our dd for a month.  You will have your good days and bad when he is gone but you will remember that this is what makes him happy and he's doing something great for our country.  It also helps to find other military wives to talk to since they know what you're going through.

gabrielat
by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 3:58 PM

That's the thing I'm looking forward to is the other Army wives. Thank you for your advice. He hasn't even joined and I already cry lol. I know it'll be hard but I know it's something important to him. 

Quoting tiredme:

My dh was in the Marine Corp for 4 years (before we met) and always talked about going back in.  I finally told him to do it and he tried for about 2 years to get back in but with the economy the way it is and military cutbacks (plus the fact that recruiters, at least marine, don't get credit for re enlistments) they didn't take him back.  He decided to join the National Guard instead, he hasn't deployed yet but he did have to go for training for a month.  It wasn't easy (for him or us) but we talked everyday and just got through it.  He has now decided not to reenlist once this contract is up because it was too hard for him to be away from our dd for a month.  You will have your good days and bad when he is gone but you will remember that this is what makes him happy and he's doing something great for our country.  It also helps to find other military wives to talk to since they know what you're going through.


Mommy of 2 year old Brooklyn Claire up in heaven, 17 month old Dominic Michael, 15 year old Tabby cat Tiger, 8 month old Rottweiler/Pitbull mix Nala, 2 year old guinea pigs Brownie & Cleopatria. Becoming Vegan. Young mommy. Pro-Choice. Metal head. Rap and Hip-Hop lover. Tattooed. Inspiring hair dresser. Earth is my home, I will keep her clean. Future Army wife. Postpartum depression surviver.

Rach0307
by Silver Member on Jun. 24, 2013 at 4:15 PM
1 mom liked this
DH joined the Navy before we got married. Honestly, I thought it would be harder than it really is. He's been in for 7 years and wants to go career with it, so we've already been through both sea and shore duty. I felt worse for him when he missed the birth of our son; I was too busy being in labor to really be affected by it like he was, lol. During 7+ month deployments, I cope by keeping myself busy. The time goes by quickly, and I know this is cleche, but absence really does make the heart grow fonder! He's on shore duty now, and sometimes I get so irritated with him that I wish he'd go back to sea for a while, lol. But really, it's not all bad, especially if you have children, family and/or friends to help you through it. If you end up moving far from anyone you know, they have family readiness groups and events on military bases that you can get involved with.
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gabrielat
by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 4:33 PM

Yea that's the one thing I'm really worried about is being alone with my son with no help. And especially when we have another child. I suffered severe postpartum depression when my son was a month old and it lasted until he was almost 11 months. If it wasn't for the help I got, I don't know what would have happened. Plus I have depression and anxiety already so it's hard. My sister is moving in with us in November so she'll be with us before he joins. I just don't know if she'll be able to stay when we move onto a base, especially if it's out of state. She'll be on parole and I'm not sure how parole works with military families. 

Quoting Rach0307:

DH joined the Navy before we got married. Honestly, I thought it would be harder than it really is. He's been in for 7 years and wants to go career with it, so we've already been through both sea and shore duty. I felt worse for him when he missed the birth of our son; I was too busy being in labor to really be affected by it like he was, lol. During 7+ month deployments, I cope by keeping myself busy. The time goes by quickly, and I know this is cleche, but absence really does make the heart grow fonder! He's on shore duty now, and sometimes I get so irritated with him that I wish he'd go back to sea for a while, lol. But really, it's not all bad, especially if you have children, family and/or friends to help you through it. If you end up moving far from anyone you know, they have family readiness groups and events on military bases that you can get involved with.


Mommy of 2 year old Brooklyn Claire up in heaven, 17 month old Dominic Michael, 15 year old Tabby cat Tiger, 8 month old Rottweiler/Pitbull mix Nala, 2 year old guinea pigs Brownie & Cleopatria. Becoming Vegan. Young mommy. Pro-Choice. Metal head. Rap and Hip-Hop lover. Tattooed. Inspiring hair dresser. Earth is my home, I will keep her clean. Future Army wife. Postpartum depression surviver.

jdarner
by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 5:23 PM
my husband is in the marine corps. has been for 8 years now
TempestRayne
by Donna on Jun. 24, 2013 at 11:03 PM
Deployments are rough, nut you learn a lot about yourself and what you are capable of.
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