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What would you have done?

Posted by on Jul. 3, 2013 at 3:59 AM
  • 8 Replies

My fiance's sister got married last week.  Since their dad wasn't really in their lives, she had my fiance and their brother walk her down the isle.  This was a big deal for us.  The wedding was held at a location an hour and a half from where we live and we currently share a car with my mom (whom we live with) and other family members (it's been a hard couple of years).  Since the bride and groom had requested no small children at the wedding, we had to plan to leave the girls at home (both are under 2 y/o) and rent a car so that a vehicle would be there if anything were to happen.  Well, plans fall through and things happen.  We weren't able to rent a car.  It was horrible.  With about 3 hours to spare, my mom agreed to drive us to the wedding and essentially just hang out with the girls around the area for a couple of hours.  Wasn't ideal, but it was the best offer we had.

In the two years we have been together, my fiance hasn't really seen his family.  His mom in particular since Christmas of 2011 (and even then for only 10 minutes), so we were really looking forward to getting some quality time in with all of them and letting them meet our newest addition who just turned 9 months.  Half way through the ceremony, I get a set of text messages from my mom asking if I had my LO's insurance card along with a picture of a really red hand.  I call her after the ceremony to find out what was wrong.  They went to eat and my 9 month old decided to make a grab at a scorching hot bowl of gravy.  Her hand was super red and she wouldn't stop crying.  We had 10 minutes to get our things together and tell everyone bye.  My fiance barely was able to get through a set of picture taking.  Most guests seemed sympathetic with the situation and understood that we needed to leave because our baby was in trouble.  My fiance's brother wasn't one of those people.  I don't think his sister was either.  In a rush, I calmed my baby down (she only really wanted me to comfort her to begin with), had her meet her grandma for five seconds (with my fiance's brother pulling his mom away from her), and tried to give as many apologetic goodbyes as possible. 

Turns out her hand was fine.  Had a few blisters pop up, but we've been able to treat them from home with no problem and they're already getting much better.  I feel like crap that we didn't get to stay longer.  His family aready didn't care for me and now it feels like they downright despise me like I'm keeping him away from them on purpose.  I just want to fix everything and make them see that my fiance isn't "good for nothing" as his brother told him.  Anyway, if a similar situation had presented itself, how would you have dealt with it?  My mom was manic and scared trying to get this screaming baby to us.  I chose my baby.

by on Jul. 3, 2013 at 3:59 AM
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Replies (1-8):
frndlyfn
by Silver Member on Jul. 3, 2013 at 4:32 AM

I would definitely choose the baby over wedding party.  I would also try to make plans for another time to go visit so they can visit with the whole family children and all rather than do it at a child free wedding.

mama2b100808
by Mandy on Jul. 3, 2013 at 7:46 AM

 I am sorry you guys didn't get to stay there but when it comes to your babies they come first. I also agree with her ^^^^ reply. I haven't been to many weddings that was child free, but I guess Southerns are different.

I hope things get better for you and his family. They sound like snobs in my opinion.

k9l1c5
by Ruby Member on Jul. 3, 2013 at 10:59 AM

I would have chose my baby too. You are her mommy, it's what you're supposed to do... don't let them make you feel bad for it.

To_the_moon
by on Jul. 3, 2013 at 11:12 AM
I'd choose my kids over a wedding any day of the week. If they don't like it oh freaking well.
CafeMom TickersCafeMom Tickers
NotMyself
by on Jul. 3, 2013 at 11:16 AM
I think you did the right thing. It's hard to join into a new family. But your baby is most important. People just have to understand that if your baby is sick or needs you for whatever reason you need to be there. Im sure they would have done it for their baby too
crystalx
by on Jul. 3, 2013 at 10:28 PM

I wouldnt worry about it too much.. screw them.. they should understand that your baby always comes first!

txlmr
by on Jul. 4, 2013 at 2:35 AM

Thanks everyone.  It was all just a big crap storm really.  I stressed and worried over this event for months only for it to end in even more stress and worry. 

Mrsjohnson2014
by Member on Jul. 4, 2013 at 4:19 AM


I would have done the same thing my baby and soon to be step children will always come first. Don't feel bad about putting your child first in my opinion any good mother would have done the same thing. Glad your baby wasn't seriously hurt though.

Quoting txlmr:

My fiance's sister got married last week.  Since their dad wasn't really in their lives, she had my fiance and their brother walk her down the isle.  This was a big deal for us.  The wedding was held at a location an hour and a half from where we live and we currently share a car with my mom (whom we live with) and other family members (it's been a hard couple of years).  Since the bride and groom had requested no small children at the wedding, we had to plan to leave the girls at home (both are under 2 y/o) and rent a car so that a vehicle would be there if anything were to happen.  Well, plans fall through and things happen.  We weren't able to rent a car.  It was horrible.  With about 3 hours to spare, my mom agreed to drive us to the wedding and essentially just hang out with the girls around the area for a couple of hours.  Wasn't ideal, but it was the best offer we had.

In the two years we have been together, my fiance hasn't really seen his family.  His mom in particular since Christmas of 2011 (and even then for only 10 minutes), so we were really looking forward to getting some quality time in with all of them and letting them meet our newest addition who just turned 9 months.  Half way through the ceremony, I get a set of text messages from my mom asking if I had my LO's insurance card along with a picture of a really red hand.  I call her after the ceremony to find out what was wrong.  They went to eat and my 9 month old decided to make a grab at a scorching hot bowl of gravy.  Her hand was super red and she wouldn't stop crying.  We had 10 minutes to get our things together and tell everyone bye.  My fiance barely was able to get through a set of picture taking.  Most guests seemed sympathetic with the situation and understood that we needed to leave because our baby was in trouble.  My fiance's brother wasn't one of those people.  I don't think his sister was either.  In a rush, I calmed my baby down (she only really wanted me to comfort her to begin with), had her meet her grandma for five seconds (with my fiance's brother pulling his mom away from her), and tried to give as many apologetic goodbyes as possible. 

Turns out her hand was fine.  Had a few blisters pop up, but we've been able to treat them from home with no problem and they're already getting much better.  I feel like crap that we didn't get to stay longer.  His family aready didn't care for me and now it feels like they downright despise me like I'm keeping him away from them on purpose.  I just want to fix everything and make them see that my fiance isn't "good for nothing" as his brother told him.  Anyway, if a similar situation had presented itself, how would you have dealt with it?  My mom was manic and scared trying to get this screaming baby to us.  I chose my baby.



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