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How to deal with my Inlaws that adopted my stepdaughter!

Posted by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 5:21 PM
  • 6 Replies

**UPDATE** 

Alot of things happend over the weekend and I want to report it got to be too much. He decided that it was all too much and started accusing me of creating a riff in his family. The wedding is off and he has moved out of our house. I supposed things work out the way they should. If I could do things different I would. I just thought things would change.


So my story is so layered and dramatic. I will be brief. I am getting married 5/24/14 to a great guy that has has some mess ups in life. He spent 2 years in jail.. and before he left had his parents adopt his daughter. His ex wife is a crazy drug head that would have ran off with the child . He felt like he had no other options. 

Fast foward to now, My soon to be husband has a decent job, we have a house and have it all together. He has wanted his daughter back in his custody for a while and we finally got her back full time last October.

Since then we have gotten engaged and live together. I have taken on full mom role and his daughter is doing great with 2 parents, rules and expetations.

His parents on the other hand are taking it way hard. They have been a real pain in the a** to deal with. They used to call my phone constantly asking to speak with her and we could never get anything done.  A few weeks ago I just blocked their number because I was tired of getting phone calls everytime something I did was not they way they would have done it.


We have had SEVERAL sit down convos with them, they have even given me temporay guardianship until we get married and can re-adopt her back. 

I just need to know how am I supposed to be a mom withouth going insane and deal with them wanting to be all in our space ALL the time.


His parents will get mad when we are busy and they want to talk to the little girl. I am just so over them trying to interfere with out life. and I am running out of ideals to make the situation better.


How can I stay sane? I plan to move us 30 mins away next year.. that is really the only way I can think of getting away from all this. 

IDEAS?!! 

by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 5:21 PM
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Replies (1-6):
MommyLehr
by Silver Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 5:26 PM
I guess my best advice is do what you can to stay civil. When they offer unwanted advice, just smile, say thank you, and do what YOU feel is best.

Good luck!
jupiter5
by Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 5:34 PM
How old is she? If she is old enough get her a phone or have them get her a phone and just have her deal with it good luck!
PeaceMuch
by Kali on Jul. 16, 2013 at 6:32 PM
1 mom liked this
Well think of it in their shoes, they had custody and the probably miss her like crazy! I am not saying what they are doing is right or okay, but they are probably trying to adjust to it. Just be civil with them and patient as best you can.
ashesleigh
by Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 7:18 PM
You do have to be sepathetic towards them. they raised her for a while and your semi new to the picture. in some states once you give a child up for adoption its almost impossible to regain complete custody. As frustrating as it is try to realize its hard on them as well. i know personally how difficult it is from going full time during the summer to every other weekend with my step kids. moving could just make things worse. just try and keep your head up. set a time the same time everyday for them to call and only then. that could help
ucopomchick
by on Jul. 17, 2013 at 8:55 AM

She is 9. We told her when she is 11 she can get a phone. But that is a really good idea. 

My fiance's dad is the one taking it the hardest. He will tell people like at the school or summer camp the entire situation which embarrasses me as I am a private person and there is NO reason for anyone to know our personal business.

He is retired and lonely and this girl was his life and I get that.

How do you tell someone to get a hobby? LOL





 

bamababe1975
by Gold Member on Jul. 17, 2013 at 3:16 PM

 I agree with this.

Quoting ashesleigh:

You do have to be sepathetic towards them. they raised her for a while and your semi new to the picture. in some states once you give a child up for adoption its almost impossible to regain complete custody. As frustrating as it is try to realize its hard on them as well. i know personally how difficult it is from going full time during the summer to every other weekend with my step kids. moving could just make things worse. just try and keep your head up. set a time the same time everyday for them to call and only then. that could help

 

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