I know there are some of you out there who have babies you can take anywhere in the world, any time you'd like. I don't. While my daughter is somewhat easygoing, I'm well-aware of my limits. We've taken her on a few airplane rides (some better than others), and on occasion, we'll go out to an earlyish dinner -- but there have definitely been times when said dinner turns into a "You know what? Can you box this up for us?" kind of night. It is what it is. I've accepted it. But I'm not going to lie, sometimes, I wish I could take my baby anywhere, any time.
Moms, if you have a "feisty" baby, who has a tendency to let you know when it's time to leave RIGHT NOW!!!!, these 6 places are off-limits.
1. IKEA. Let's get real here, most husbands can barely handle IKEA. I swear, I am yet to go to IKEA and not see a couple arguing. The last time my husband and I went to IKEA together, it ended in a silent car ride home, and my husband uttering the words, "I hate these Swedish f*ckfaces" as we left the building. It's kind of a stressful place. So babies? Not the best place for them. At least not my baby. It's crowded as hell; it's cold; it's loud; and you really can't get good, solid browsing (and buying) in when you know you have a time limit until your baby starts getting cranky. And let's face it: Very few of us live close to an IKEA.
2. Waxing/mani/pedi/haircut/etc. I actually walked by a nail salon the other day and saw two women getting pedicures while their babies slept or relaxed in their strollers, and I had the same reaction as if I saw a Yeti: Complete and utter shock. This exists? I suppose I could have taken my babe with me when she was younger and couldn't walk when I went to get my eyebrows waxed or bangs trimmed, but now there's no way in hell I could ever do that. And if I did, it would single-handedly be the least relaxing salon experience of my life.
3. A fancy restaurant. I wouldn't dare take my baby to a fancy restaurant right now out of fear that she'd disrupt other diners' meals, but to be honest, I'm not so sure I feel a fancy restaurant is the place for a baby anyway.
4. Concerts/music festivals. While babies look super adorable wearing those giant noise-cancelling headphones, my kid would rip them off faster than you could say "permanent ear damage".
5. Movies. Shortly after my sweet girl was born, I learned about those "mommy movies" they have, where the volume is lower than usual, and the entire theater is reserved for moms with young babies. In theory, it's an awesome idea, but I never even bothered, because odds were I'd have to leave as soon as the credits started rolling.
6. Nighttime weddings. I went to a wedding not that long ago, where a mom brought not one, but two kids. Young ones. They were 2 1/2 and 10 months. When I asked her if she was going to leave early, she said, "No. My husband is just going to put them to sleep in their stroller." It was shocking and damn impressive. My daughter would never do that. She likes her nighttime routine as is. No deviations, thank you very much.
What places can or can't you bring your baby?