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20 Something Moms 20 Something Moms

I m in need of some advice :( PLEASE HELP IM LOST

Posted by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 9:03 PM
  • 9 Replies
Hello friends I have been stuck in a sticky stop for a while now PLEASE help!! I was a very young mother when I became pregnant for the first time. I was just turning 16 when I had him. I took care of my son 100% and I am very proud on myself for that even if I did make a mistake my haveing sex at a young age. My son is going to be 11 this october and my daughter will be 4 in october as well. My boyfriend has been there 100% for my son like his own and im so greatful for that I no not many men would do that!! However my boyfriend and I have been together for 10 years in sept. we are buying our own house and we make enought money I have always want to get married to him. I have pushed him to get married for a couple years. Well he did propose to me 4 years ago this x-mas eve at his parents house (while everyone was there when his family and i do not always get along because im to out spoken) that made me a little upset and after the fact I found out that my mother did not no anything about it or any of my family!! well I started to plan the wedding but he wanted nothing to do with any of it :( I try talking to him to see what he wants and no matter what I said or did he always pushed me aside. I have given up on getting mar ried :( I want to very much but he says he does but I feel he is just saying it to shut me up, My kids are 7 years apart I want another baby so badly but I do not want to my daughter to be 7 before we have another. I no Im very young and have all the time in the world but I do not want to wait any longer. He on the other hand does not want another baby at all there is not even a (maybe later). I am so heart broken over this I feel like he is holding somthing back from me but I have tried talking to him so many time but I get nothing out of him. sadly his mother passed aways on may 11th a day before mothers day :( I want to try talk to him more about how I feel but I dont know if it is too soon to try and talk to him about all of this when I how how he feels bout it. I have tried to push it out of my mind but i JUST CANT!! Please help me!!!!!!!!!
by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 9:03 PM
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Replies (1-9):
Courtney610
by Courtney on Jul. 31, 2013 at 9:23 PM
1 mom liked this
Counseling, maybe?
proudmommy712
by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 9:27 PM

I guess im not understanding Courtney610 I do not think I need counseling or maybe the way im thinking of counseling is the wrong way. Like to talk about how it makes me feel by myself or couples counseling?

Courtney610
by Courtney on Jul. 31, 2013 at 9:40 PM
Couples if you can convince him.

Quoting proudmommy712:

I guess im not understanding Courtney610 I do not think I need counseling or maybe the way im thinking of counseling is the wrong way. Like to talk about how it makes me feel by myself or couples counseling?

NovaChick26
by on Aug. 1, 2013 at 9:34 AM

I agree it sounds like there is something he is holding back . Maybe going to couples counseling will help you guys to communicate better, maybe it would be an enviroment where he felt he could open up and tell you whats really on his mind and why he is dragging his feet about marriage.

MamaBear2cubs
by Nikki on Aug. 1, 2013 at 10:23 AM

hugs

Really sounds like you two need to discuss where your at and where this relationship is going.

luvmybug
by Amanda on Aug. 1, 2013 at 10:30 AM
Quoting MamaBear2cubs:

hugs

Really sounds like you two need to discuss where your at and where this relationship is going.



I agree. Good luck and keep us posted!
mama2b100808
by Mandy on Aug. 1, 2013 at 4:35 PM

I agree with what the others are saying. I am sorry his mother passed. 

Supermommyof423
by Member on Aug. 2, 2013 at 10:46 AM
Yall have been together ten years and yall still haven't gotten married? If he wanted to really be with you yall would already be married. Sounds like he just doesn't want to be in a marriage commitment. Men are funny about that kind of stuff. One thing is for sure I wouldn't waste another ten years on somebody who wouldn't want to marry me.
PurpleCrown
by on Aug. 2, 2013 at 1:16 PM

I don't think you should push him. The last thing you want is a child with someone who doesn't truly want it and then turns out not supportive during the pregnancy and unhelpful when the baby is born because they are not up to it emotionally or mentally. It's worth the wait. I lost my mom when I was 19 and the last thing to do to someone in that spot is to psuh things on them that they aren't up for, especially another child since a kid is the type of thing that would require a different emotional mindset and grief brings emotions that need special attention. It'd be a better idea to hold off than to chance ruining things with him over it. 

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