Oreo Double Stuf Cookies Caught in 'Shocking Scandal' - Are You Sitting Down?
Dun dun dunnn!Of all the shocking scandals we've covered here on The Stir, this shocking scandal has the most... stuff. I'm talking about that sugary white frosting stuff that goes between Oreo cookies. A high school math class actually measured the amount of filling in Double Stuf Oreos to find out if it's really, you know, double the amount of "stuf" that you get in a regular Oreo. And guess what. IT'S NOT. Pick your jaw up off the floor. Yes, it's true. The "stuf" in Double Stuf M'Oreos came a whopping 7 percent short of double.
Everything is a lie, my friends. We can trust no one. Never again will I believe the false promises of cookies. What next -- are they going to tell us Keebler cookies aren't really made by elfin denizens of trees?
Oh I'm kidding. I'm impressed by this high school class's creativity and dedication. But honestly? I'm amazed that the stuf is off by only 7 percent. That seems pretty darn close to me. I would have pegged it at 25 percent or something like that. Aren't we all used to food companies kinda-sorta fudging their claims? Anyway, the point of those cookies isn't to get EXACTLY double the amount of filling -- it's more the idea of extra filling. If you're choosing the cookie with extra sugary shortening, chances are you're not the sort to get hung up on those little details. It's going to taste the same with or without that 7 percent more stuf.
I don't care anyway becasue I scrape the white stuf out of my cookies and replace it with Nutella. Why are we not all doing this? Why doesn't this Nutella sandwich cookie already exist? That's the real question we should be asking ourselves. If anything is going to give me an existential crisis, it's how I can keep saying Nutella-Stuffed-Oreo-Cookie to the universe and yet no one is manufacturing that and putting it on the shelves. Do I have to do everything myself?
Do you care if the Double Stuf Oreos have exactly double the stuf?