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Husband Doesn't Understand

Posted by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 8:45 PM
  • 8 Replies
I am a mother of 3 young kids. I struggle from anxiety and depression and am taking Paxil. I recently ran out, and am having severe serotonin withdrawal, on top of an abscessed (sp?) tooth and sinus infection. I feel absolutely horrible. I have spent hundreds of dollars at the dentist already today, and will shell out a lot more tomorrow to be put to sleep and have a tooth cut out. My doctor will not refill my Paxil without a visit, and I have to get this tooth out. So basically the dentist has taken all my available money.

I lost my job in July and have put in a dozen applications in the last two weeks. Currently I am painting and re-doing antiques and other furniture for extra money. He doesn't believe depression or anxiety is an "illness", nor does he believe I "work" just because I don't 9-5 like him. He does not do anything for kids or himself besides work. he says he won't help me with kids or around the house because I don't help him work.

I am so frustrated and heartbroken. How can I make him understand that I really am "sick", and that raising a family and wiping his butt is a job too?

Sorry for the long vent, and thanks to anyone who is still reading. :)
by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 8:45 PM
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Replies (1-8):
mommyof11050307
by Silver Member on Sep. 3, 2013 at 8:48 PM
2 moms liked this
Your husband is an asshole. Stopped doing everything for him. if my husband said that to me I would only worry about the kids and I. He may work full time but he's a father and a husband when he walks through the door. I don't expect him to scrub my floors but he is expected to clean up after himself. He has no choice in the matter when it comes to our kids he must help with then no matter what.
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MissusEngland
by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 8:54 PM
Lmao! He really is an ahole when it comes to this!I know he loves us, and he isn't mean, I just literally cannot break through his hard head and his crazy ideals of what a wife should do. When I did work full time and attend college five days a week, he still didn't help. :/ I will def stop doing anything for him. Also, I know he realizes I'm right, he is just too stubborn to admit it. For instance, after last night's conversation about how I don't work blah blah, he took the garbage out this morning, made his own lunch for work, (HUGE DEAL!) and was sucking up this evening. However, I doubt he will improve much more than that. I KNOW his mama didn't spoil him like this. Was it being a bachelor with no repsonsibilties all those years that did it?!
luvmybug
by Amanda on Sep. 3, 2013 at 9:06 PM
1 mom liked this
I can totally relate with my first husband. He was like that. I finally had to sit him down with his MOTHER of al people and explain that taking care of the house and kids IS an actual job. That it is in fact more difficult than a regular 9-5. That it is 24/7 and you never get a break. Just because you are not contributing much income doesn't mean you aren't working hard, if not harder, than him. Plus, you are SICK. That in itself takes a lot to get up and do things without him complaining and NOT helping. He should really be more sensitive. And if all else fails, go on a cleaning strike and see what he thinks of the house when you do NOTHING. *hugs*
MissusEngland
by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 9:15 PM
I promise I have done the same thing with his mom. Last summer I kept 11, yes 11, kids including my 3, his sister, and his 3 cousins. Even then, I was not "doing anything", and thats when i brought the MIL in. We are in love and besides this issue, we have no others. I was married to a cheating non working bum last time, do I definitely appreciate him in that aspect, but something has got to give with this. My grandmother says to make him think things are his idea and basically use the reverse psychology that I would on a child... Ugh. I think he thinks if he starts helping that I will have "changed him" and "won". Or maybe he is just irreversibly lazy?
MamaBear2cubs
by Nikki on Sep. 4, 2013 at 12:33 AM
1 mom liked this

Ugh I am sorry your dealing with that

MamaPeanut
by Kristy on Sep. 4, 2013 at 4:36 PM
I completely agree!

I must say, it seems to me like being with such an asshole is making your life worse! I'd get rid of him until he gets his crap together.


Quoting mommyof11050307:

Your husband is an asshole. Stopped doing everything for him. if my husband said that to me I would only worry about the kids and I. He may work full time but he's a father and a husband when he walks through the door. I don't expect him to scrub my floors but he is expected to clean up after himself. He has no choice in the matter when it comes to our kids he must help with then no matter what.
k9l1c5
by Ruby Member on Sep. 4, 2013 at 6:17 PM

Aww, sorry that he doesn't understand :/. Hope you can find a job soon, and hopefully your husband might start to realize all that you do around there.

brjdaniels
by on Sep. 4, 2013 at 6:32 PM
1 mom liked this

although i cannot relate on the hubby not helping out I can relate to the hubby not believing depression and anxiety are real diseases. you can pm me anytime if you need to talk. Im sorry you're going through this.

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