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Depressed and don't know what to do.

Posted by on Sep. 7, 2013 at 11:46 AM
  • 10 Replies

I am 24 yrs old and 36 weeks pregnant I have an 18 month old son and I had a little girl when I was 19.  My mother tricked me into signing my rights away (its a long story but if you really want to know I will tell you.  She just turned 4 in july.)  I have my c-section date set for the 23rd of this month.  I have been severaly depressed for the past several months and feel no attachment for this baby.  I tried telling my husband but he says I'm fine and doesn't want me to tell the doc.  Not 100% sure why maybe he thinks our kids will be taken away idk.  I want to be happy again but don't know how I can't bring myself to do much above the basics of the day.  You know basic house cleaning and the basic needs of my son.  I feel like a horrible mom to him for not being able to play and things like that.  I started a baby book for the one I'm about to have but can't seem to bring myself to finish it and I can't even seem to start her baby blanket although I did one for my son.  I felt happy and excited during the first two pregnancies.  The first isn't my DH's baby I had her before I met him.  I don't get out of our apartment much except for doc appointments or to visit family although when we visit family no one really talks to me I just take care of DS.  My only family is the one I married into.  I don't have friends I guess cause no one wants to hang out at my place they want ot go do stuff and well I don't have a driver's license so can't take my son anywhere.  Plus my husband wants us home when he's home for lunch and for the night but then he doesn't want to do anything I'm lucky if I get out once a month.  I feel like I'm whinning by saying all this but I needed to say something somewhere.  Heck even on facebook I have to message people first and then its usually a very short exchange.  I just don't know what to do.  What would you do?

by on Sep. 7, 2013 at 11:46 AM
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Replies (1-10):
sugarivy
by on Sep. 7, 2013 at 11:55 AM
2 moms liked this

I don't think what you are feeling is abnormal AT ALL.  And I think you should do just what I think you want to do, mention this to your doctor.  When preggo all kns of things happen to your hormones.  You could just be out of balance.  Do not feel bad.  you are not bad person or mother.  if you were, this post would not exist!

Mrs.Tirado
by on Sep. 7, 2013 at 12:21 PM
Don't feel bad, this happened to me too. When my son was born I fell in love with him. This isn't weird at all. You might be shocked to know how many women felt this way. I understand why your hubby doesn't want u telling the doctor. Some doctors handle these situations differently but any some cases, they start questioning your ability to take care of your children and not just the one you're carrying. After u get the baby, see if u can get your drivers license. It'll make you feel better...trust me, I know the stuck at home feeling and its horrible...
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Christenrenee
by Member on Sep. 7, 2013 at 1:47 PM

Getting out of the house a bit helps me tremendously.  can you go outside just to take a walk?

Mrs.Thomason
by Member on Sep. 7, 2013 at 2:22 PM


not really we live in the city next to an interstate and I don't have a stroller for him and I can't keep up with him it worries me walking with him next to the interstate.

Quoting Christenrenee:

Getting out of the house a bit helps me tremendously.  can you go outside just to take a walk?



wixychixy
by on Sep. 7, 2013 at 2:55 PM

If you ever need an ear, message me.  Facebook for me has been how you describe it.  Nobody really seems to care or understand.  You could have almost described me exactly except that I am 28, not currently pregnant, and I had two boys that my mother tried to get custody of and only ended up getting them taken from all the family including herself.  (Very long story there.)  The only reason I have my driver's license now is because DHS said that I was not mentally fit to care for children if I couldn't even get my license.

If you are able in any way to go see a doctor, go.  I can't afford it or I would still be on my meds for depression and anxiety.

MamaBear2cubs
by Nikki on Sep. 7, 2013 at 3:57 PM

I agree


Quoting sugarivy:

I don't think what you are feeling is abnormal AT ALL.  And I think you should do just what I think you want to do, mention this to your doctor.  When preggo all kns of things happen to your hormones.  You could just be out of balance.  Do not feel bad.  you are not bad person or mother.  if you were, this post would not exist!



k9l1c5
by Platinum Member on Sep. 7, 2013 at 5:07 PM

I'm sorry you are feeling this way, I would definitely bring it up to your doctor. There are lots of women that feel this way when they're pregnant. I didn't feel attached to my daughter when I was pregnant until maybe halfway through my pregnancy.

BrettsMommy927
by Member on Sep. 7, 2013 at 8:56 PM

I tried to hard to convince myself i wasn't pregnant. And i mean really hard. I was 81/2 months, and big as a house, and still was like....nope...nu uh.... not me! when he was born, i cried....alot....i had never fealt such an amazing love for ANYONE. always open to chat if you need an ear, i myself am bipolaR, and often need someone to rant too.

Liudmyla
by on Sep. 7, 2013 at 10:34 PM

I know how you feel. I would just stick with doing basics for now. This was very emotional time for me with both of my pregnancies.

Does your fiance realize that your 18 month old need some outdoor time? He has a car so he is responsible for taking you to the park at least on the weekend. You and your child need some vitamin D (sun) it also is good for fighting depression.

MammaKoi
by Member on Sep. 8, 2013 at 12:54 AM

Your not alone at all. I had no attachment to my current baby either. Long story short, my SO didn't want our son and we agreed on adoption well he started to have health issues and I was afraid I would lose him and I expressed this to the adoptive mother cause it was someone to talk to and it was nice while I had it, needless to say the adoption went south and we have our baby boy. I don't regret meeting the adoptive family and I don't regret keeping my son either. I thought towards the end I'd have big issues with loving him but overall I don't. Mind you if it had not been for family we would of not had all of what we do have for our son since it was a last min choice on both our end and the adoptive familys end. I love my son to death and will do anything for him. Mind you I do have 2 older boys who are 5 and 6yrs old also. I had great pregnancys with them and and never had issues or depression either. I have post partum depression this time around, no biggie. I'm on anti-depresents too. I hardly go anywhere except to shop, go to appointments and pick up my oldest from the bus. I guess what I'm saying is your not alone and its okay to feel the way you do and mention how you do feel to your doctor. We all sometimes need a helping hand or just told that its okay to feel how we do and possible things will change later. 

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