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what would you do?

Posted by on Oct. 5, 2013 at 2:48 AM
  • 15 Replies
First off, sorry for the book, I have been stewing for several hours.

My oldest son is 6. He goes to his paternal grandmothers on weekends during school, and during school breaks he will stay a few days, not any longer than 4 because she cannot handle him.

So tonight at 9:45 I get a call from her, and all she says is, "Here is Connor." Ummm okay. My son gets on the phone, " mommy? Can I live with my grandma?" I wait a couple seconds, letting it sink in. "No baby, you live with mommy. You have school, and friends, and cub scouts here. You can visit with grandma, but you need to live with mommy," was my response. He starts to cry, and about a minute later his dad gets on the phone. He asks me what is wrong, and I explain the situation to him.

He said that he was going to take him cosmic bowling, and asked if he can have him for a week of winter break. Didn't want to address the issue with me, because he wasn't asking if he can live with him, just with his mom.

Now, I understand my son wanting to move in with grandma, she is fun and spoils him and let's him do whatever he wants. At my house there are rules, and bedtime, homework and chores, etc. But we do fun stuff when we can. It wouldn't be so frustrating for me, except she has tried to keep my son from me before, and the cops have become involved.

I had a custody agreement with my ex that expired September 1st because we set it up to redo it when my son started first grade, so Monday morning I am going to file the papers to put in place a new agreement, because I do not want her to try to pull any bs and keep him. I am so irritated and frustrated! Am I wrong for feeling this way? Should I have just let him do it? I cannot bear to live without my son, and I honestly do not feel it would be what is best for him. Once I file the papers, I will not allow her any visitation until the papers are finalized. I feel torn right now, I do not want to keep him from his grandma, but I also do not want to run the risk of her trying to take him from me!

What would you do?
by on Oct. 5, 2013 at 2:48 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Mommy4-27-08
by Silver Member on Oct. 5, 2013 at 4:01 AM
I would address the issue with both dad and grandma and tell them that this type of communication with your son about living there isn't healthy and won't be tolerated. That is making you the bad guy for no reason. Of course he wants to live at grandma's. Heck, even as an adult I sometimes wish I could go live at grandmas. Lol.
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mama2b100808
by Mandy on Oct. 5, 2013 at 11:42 AM

 I totally agree what she said. It is hard for us moms to say no to our babies but we are moms and our children stay with us. a Grandma should be a grandma not a parent to our children.

Quoting Mommy4-27-08:

I would address the issue with both dad and grandma and tell them that this type of communication with your son about living there isn't healthy and won't be tolerated. That is making you the bad guy for no reason. Of course he wants to live at grandma's. Heck, even as an adult I sometimes wish I could go live at grandmas. Lol.

 

shawnda-downing
by on Oct. 5, 2013 at 12:04 PM
She likes to think she is. She was telling people at their church he was hers, until we went to Easter service with her and the truth came out. That was awkward. She is bringing him home tomorrow after church and I plan on talking to her. I talked to my ex this morning. He is sick of her shenenigans, from what he said she has been trying to keep our son from him when he goes to visit.

Quoting mama2b100808:

 I totally agree what she said. It is hard for us moms to say no to our babies but we are moms and our children stay with us. a Grandma should be a grandma not a parent to our children.


Quoting Mommy4-27-08:I would address the issue with both dad and grandma and tell them that this type of communication with your son about living there isn't healthy and won't be tolerated. That is making you the bad guy for no reason. Of course he wants to live at grandma's. Heck, even as an adult I sometimes wish I could go live at grandmas. Lol.


 


mama2b100808
by Mandy on Oct. 5, 2013 at 12:06 PM

 Oh wow! I am sorry you two have to deal with someone like that. I have a wonderful mother in law. She usually has to be beg us to let her watch our daughter and we live right next door to her. :)

Quoting shawnda-downing:

She likes to think she is. She was telling people at their church he was hers, until we went to Easter service with her and the truth came out. That was awkward. She is bringing him home tomorrow after church and I plan on talking to her. I talked to my ex this morning. He is sick of her shenenigans, from what he said she has been trying to keep our son from him when he goes to visit.

Quoting mama2b100808:

 I totally agree what she said. It is hard for us moms to say no to our babies but we are moms and our children stay with us. a Grandma should be a grandma not a parent to our children.


Quoting Mommy4-27-08:I would address the issue with both dad and grandma and tell them that this type of communication with your son about living there isn't healthy and won't be tolerated. That is making you the bad guy for no reason. Of course he wants to live at grandma's. Heck, even as an adult I sometimes wish I could go live at grandmas. Lol.


 


 

brittany208
by on Oct. 5, 2013 at 9:22 PM

my DS has asked if his gma can come live with us. it isnt anything against us... gmas are just fun! are you sure its personal? are you sure they put him up to it? you could be making a big deal over nothing.

brittany208
by on Oct. 5, 2013 at 9:23 PM

why is he living with her anyway?

shawnda-downing
by on Oct. 6, 2013 at 12:57 AM
He is not living with her. He lives with me and my DH, he goes to visit with her every other weekend because his biological father is living there temporarily while he is finding a new place.

I talked to my ex today, and he asked me when I was going to redo the custody/ visitation order. He said his mother is telling my son he would have so much more fun if he could just live with grandma. And even after last night she has asked him 3 more times if he wants to live with her. Not live with my ex, live with her. She tries to keep my son from his dad when he goes there to visit. And has told people before that he is her child. Not her grandchild, her child. When my son was 4 months old she tried to keep him when I let her have him for a couple hours while I worked a short shift. She barred her doors from the inside and was screaming at me on the phone that I was an unfit mom because I worked too much. The cops have been involved several times when she has refused to let me pick him up at the scheduled time.

Quoting brittany208:

why is he living with her anyway?


berespectful
by Member on Oct. 6, 2013 at 1:54 AM

file NOW or grandma will take your kid. It's been known to happen. Don't feel bad alienating grandma if that is what it comes to. DS needs his mom.

brittany208
by on Oct. 6, 2013 at 8:42 AM

she sounds nutso. get off here and go get those custody papers done now! 


Quoting shawnda-downing:

He is not living with her. He lives with me and my DH, he goes to visit with her every other weekend because his biological father is living there temporarily while he is finding a new place.

I talked to my ex today, and he asked me when I was going to redo the custody/ visitation order. He said his mother is telling my son he would have so much more fun if he could just live with grandma. And even after last night she has asked him 3 more times if he wants to live with her. Not live with my ex, live with her. She tries to keep my son from his dad when he goes there to visit. And has told people before that he is her child. Not her grandchild, her child. When my son was 4 months old she tried to keep him when I let her have him for a couple hours while I worked a short shift. She barred her doors from the inside and was screaming at me on the phone that I was an unfit mom because I worked too much. The cops have been involved several times when she has refused to let me pick him up at the scheduled time.

Quoting brittany208:

why is he living with her anyway?



 

MamaBear2cubs
by Nikki on Oct. 6, 2013 at 11:49 AM

Yeah I'd be getting those custody papers asap, she sounds a bit off.

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