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Is this really wrong?

Posted by on Oct. 7, 2013 at 10:36 AM
  • 57 Replies

 

Poll

Question: Would you prefer being an Stay at Home Mom or a Working Mom?

Options:

Stay At Home Mom

Working Mom

Not sure

Depends on the Day


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Total Votes: 87

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Currently, I am a stay at home mom, but I hate it.  Everytime I mention going back to work with certain family members including my mother in law, they all look at me as if I have grown extra heads.  Other mothers in the community wonder why I would want to work if I don't have to.  I am currently in school pursuing my Bachelors Degree in Accounting and I have my Associates in the same subject.

I can't help not liking it.

I hate spending every day at home watching the same boring daytime talk shows/gameshows, constantly calling people and making appointmes, cleaning, cooking, doing school work (I go to school online), and everything.  I would love to be the primary breadwinner and my husband can stay home all day everyday.  He actually would love to be a stay at home dad.  I would be more than happy working and continuing the handle the finances.

Still, when I talk to other people, they don't understand how I could not, as a mother, want to stay at home all day and just concentrate on child rearing. My mother in law doesn't understand why my husband and I still have an active sex life or go out on dates because everything should be about the children. I am most certainly not the housewife type and while my house is clean and children are well taken care of... I just can't help desperately wanting to work.

by on Oct. 7, 2013 at 10:36 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Courtney610
by Courtney on Oct. 7, 2013 at 10:47 AM
1 mom liked this
Personally, I prefer being a SAHM. There's nothing wrong with being a working mom. You do what is best for your family, and ignore the negative opinions!
nooneexciting
by on Oct. 7, 2013 at 10:50 AM
1 mom liked this

My husband and I have been talking about this subject. Honestly, if you'd both be happier switching roles, do it. I am quickly learning that family offers adviced based solely on what they know to be the truth, and they make no adjustments for how times have changed. So long as your children are loved and cared for, who cares how it happens?

AiLi
by on Oct. 7, 2013 at 11:07 AM

Admittedly, it does get hard to ignore the negative opinions because they start saying things and making me feel like I am not that great of a mom because I want to work. 

Quoting Courtney610:

Personally, I prefer being a SAHM. There's nothing wrong with being a working mom. You do what is best for your family, and ignore the negative opinions!



PeaceMuch
by Kali on Oct. 7, 2013 at 11:10 AM
This

Quoting Courtney610:

Personally, I prefer being a SAHM. There's nothing wrong with being a working mom. You do what is best for your family, and ignore the negative opinions!
AiLi
by on Oct. 7, 2013 at 11:10 AM


One would think I would have learned that about family, but sometimes they do offer good advice.

My aunt who is a lot older (55) told me only terrible excuses for women want to work while they have children and that if I had any respect for myself that I'd be a stay at home mom.

I have to agree. It will probably be a bit of an adjustment but I do think my family (husband and children) would be much happier with the role switching.   It just a bit trying when family members who should be supportive are putting you down constantly.

Quoting nooneexciting:

My husband and I have been talking about this subject. Honestly, if you'd both be happier switching roles, do it. I am quickly learning that family offers adviced based solely on what they know to be the truth, and they make no adjustments for how times have changed. So long as your children are loved and cared for, who cares how it happens?



nooneexciting
by on Oct. 7, 2013 at 11:23 AM
2 moms liked this

My in-laws have very strict beliefs as to how a household should be run. After my husband and I got married I was belittled for still having a job and not strictly working on building a family. Now that I am pregnant I am finding out just how overly-traditional my family is as well. My husband just sat me down and said the major decisions are up to us as far as he is concerned. If we need advice, obviously ask for it, but for the rest we should just smile and nod.

Mommy_Jenx3
by Silver Member on Oct. 7, 2013 at 11:25 AM

What works for some, won't for others. You have to do what works for you and your family. I am a SAHM by choice, and love it. 

mamashley
by on Oct. 7, 2013 at 11:48 AM
1 mom liked this

There is nothing wrong with that mama! Every situation and every person is different. If you would rather be at work, then that is what is right for you. It's not that you don't love your children, or even that you would rather they were in daycare (from what you said). You just would rather be the one working. We were raised that we should want a career and want to work. We were taught that men were equally capable of doing the cooking and cleaning and taking care of the children. That it should be a partnership.

Don't let people tear you down for being honest about what you want. It's when you shove down your dreams and your desires that depression, anxiety and resentment start to set in. Be honest and go after what you want for your family. Especially when it would make your dh happier as well!


good luck

mrsniebo
by Silver Member on Oct. 7, 2013 at 12:58 PM
Most days I love being a SAHM, but some days I miss going to work. It gets easier as the kids get older, but I'd probably get bored once both kids are in school full days.

Do what is best for your family, regardless of what family says.
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HaileysMom07180
by on Oct. 7, 2013 at 1:00 PM
1 mom liked this

i did the stay at home mom thing for 6 years and i'm way too social  for it.  i habe been back to working full time for a litttle over 6 months now and aby sunday evening, i'm ready to go back to work.

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