Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

20 Something Moms 20 Something Moms

Feeling Guilty...

Posted by on Oct. 8, 2013 at 2:46 PM
  • 8 Replies
I'm thinking about EFFing my 12 week old. I'm barely producing an ounce a day and that's pumping 10 times a day! I keep myself to a strict schedule as I work long hours. DS does not breastfeed. We have had trouble latching because he went into the hospital at 4 days old with Staph Scalded Skin and 45% of his skin came off so I couldn't hold him, could barely touch him, and was forced to bottle feed him. To make matters worse, my milk came in the same day but because of the stress, not to its full potential and I have struggled ever since to produce barely anything. My pediatrician keeps going on and on about IQ points being determined with how long a baby is breastfed and I am trying. He fights me if I even dare get my bare boob anywhere near his face! I do feed him what I pump but its such a tiny amount and now it's declining! I spend tons of money on mothers milk tea and fenugreek vitamins and nothing is working! What do I do? I can't afford a lot more of this as a single mom going through a divorce with no financial help at all from my ex husband!
by on Oct. 8, 2013 at 2:46 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-8):
ashesleigh
by on Oct. 8, 2013 at 2:51 PM
Are you still taking prenatal vitamins? im having issues pumping enough and wasn't taking prenatal vitamins but now i am. milk production is up and i pump only about 8 times. a day. you may be pumping at the wrong times. i wait until i feel uncomfortable to pump. try that and good luck
DesertSunset
by on Oct. 8, 2013 at 2:56 PM
1 mom liked this
I never stopped my prenatals. And I never become engorged or uncomfortable which is why I came up with the schedule. The lactation consultant said its frequency that matters and 10 would do wonders...I haven't seen any improvement at all.
fightgirl038
by Member on Oct. 8, 2013 at 6:02 PM

Don't stress over it. That is what causes you to dry up faster. If you can't produce then you can't. I had the same problem with my first and after a month of it I stopped because it was to much of a hassle and it was to stressful. So I went to formula and my kid is just fine and smart as heck. My advice, if it's causing problems and you tried all you could, go ahead and get formula. If the pediatrician argues with you change doctors, one that would understand. I never had a problem with my pediatricians. As long as the baby was gaining weight and showing good signs of development, and were heatlhy they didn't care what I feed them. As long as they were getting the nuition they need which they were as best I could. 

PeaceMuch
by Kali on Oct. 8, 2013 at 7:00 PM
Sounds like you tried everything. There is nothing wrong with formula feeding.
Rotorkitty
by Member on Oct. 8, 2013 at 7:00 PM
1 mom liked this


Exactly! All of my three children are formula fed, they are growing great and just as smart. IQ points will only come into play on how you're teaching your child. Not what they eat. Yes a healthy diet is important but formula isn't IQ dropping stuff. Stress is going to make your milk just stop. You honestly have to be calm enough for the "let down" to happen if you want more milk to come in. Try some warm compress on your chest before pumping, it might simulate the body heat from baby maybe it'll also help you relax enough to pump. A good book while pumping or just some soothing music might also help, but the biggest point is to relax so that it does come in.

its probably some old wives tale in Hispanic culture but they say if your stressed your milk dries up because your body doesn't want to pass all those stress hormones into baby. It'll make baby colicky and upset just like mama so your body does it on instinct to spare baby. Who knows if its true or not but it seems kind of logical.

Quoting fightgirl038:

Don't stress over it. That is what causes you to dry up faster. If you can't produce then you can't. I had the same problem with my first and after a month of it I stopped because it was to much of a hassle and it was to stressful. So I went to formula and my kid is just fine and smart as heck. My advice, if it's causing problems and you tried all you could, go ahead and get formula. If the pediatrician argues with you change doctors, one that would understand. I never had a problem with my pediatricians. As long as the baby was gaining weight and showing good signs of development, and were heatlhy they didn't care what I feed them. As long as they were getting the nuition they need which they were as best I could. 



k9l1c5
by Ruby Member on Oct. 11, 2013 at 10:33 AM

Have you tried things to increase your supply like mother's milk tea, fenugreek supplements, oatmeal, etc? The breast feeding group might be helpful for you if you want to try to do that. And maybe he is fighting your boob because of how fast your let down is? It might be too fast and choking him? I would ask the BFing group if you really want to keep going with this, but if not then no there is nothing wrong with formula feeding :).

Breastfeeding moms

JoanahLee
by Member on Oct. 11, 2013 at 10:41 AM
I think breastfeeding is the best option, and I feel like everyone who can, should try to make it work.... but when it doesnt work it just means that it did not work, not that you suck or your a bad mom or not cut out for motherhood. You gave him 12 weeks of an extra boost with your milk... thats no small feat!
if your stress level about this is so high it might be time to ask yourself if you will be a better mom without this added stress. Yes brestfeeding is linked to IQ, but so is maternal stress levels.
MamaPeanut
by Kristy on Oct. 11, 2013 at 10:53 AM
You shouldn't stay with a Dr who bullies you instead if being supportive.

The few IQ points are minuscule, and I honestly believe the "statistics" are based more heavily on socio economic factors.

I have 2 exclusively formula fed kids who are smart, healthy, and happy. I've never regretted it.
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)