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Friends with the Father

Posted by on Oct. 16, 2013 at 9:36 AM
  • 15 Replies

Are any of you moms Single mothers, but still close friends with the father? If so, how did you do it? My sons father and I get along one min and the next its like WW3 is going to start. I try to be friends with him for my sons sake, but we are very different and we see parenting very differently. I have all the rights to our son, and when he does things that he shouldnt my only way to show him hes wrong is taking his days with my son away? do you think there are other ways to go about this? Talking never works, he gets mad and storms out every time i try to talk to him!

by on Oct. 16, 2013 at 9:36 AM
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by on Oct. 16, 2013 at 9:51 AM

How long have you been seperated for?

I am going on to 3 years of not being with my DD's dad, and only now we kind of get along, its hard of course and you need to learn to pick your battles, we don't see eye to eye for everything but we compromise and try to look at it as what is best for our DD and not what makes us feel better.

by Silver Member on Oct. 16, 2013 at 1:30 PM

It's normal to not always see eye-to-eye, but in my opinion it's never ok to punish your child (by taking away time with his father) for the things his dad says or does that you don't agree with.  Of course, if he's doing things that could harm your child, that's a different story altogether.

It's ok if you aren't friends with your child's father.  It's more important that you learn to parent together than to be friends.

**Let it all out ANONYMOUSLY!**

by on Oct. 16, 2013 at 1:31 PM
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I'm not. I offered to be his friend when we broke up years ago but he told me to fuck myself. Now, I don't really give a shit. We are cordial for my child but other than that I can't stand the fucker.

by Nikki on Oct. 16, 2013 at 1:33 PM

I've mever been in that situation but good luck.

by on Oct. 16, 2013 at 2:04 PM
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Whoa! Taking away his visitation only hurts your son in the long run. Major no no there! 

How do the differences affect the time you have with your son? Are you thinking about things like you say no sugar and in bed by 8:30 and he lets him eat cupcakes and stay up until 10? House rules? What are the types of things you see differently? 

by Silver Member on Oct. 16, 2013 at 2:46 PM
I am friends with my kids dad, as much as you can be with someone who you have history with and could be an enemy in the future. We have been split up for almost 4 years. Now we do have issues, just like every relationship you can have (friendships, dating, co-workers, etc.) and we have to work through them. I also let a lot of things roll off my shoulder.

We do things differently, I have a bed time and my kids are always dressed cute and clean. He doesn't change my kids clothes and lets them go to bed at 10. I feed my kids fairly healthy, he lets them eat McDonalds for dinner the whole weekend he has them. He has our children around people i don't care for, I have a new fiance and he doesn't like that i've moved on.Neither of us are wrong per say, just different.

I would never take his time away unless he was endangering our children and I feared for their safety. That is not okay to me.

The trick is having thick skin and taking things with a grain of salt. Even if you don't agree, unless it is really dangerous. Like life or death. Otherwise, let it go.
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by on Oct. 16, 2013 at 4:44 PM

My ex and i were together for 7 yrs from when i was 15-22. we have 3 kids together.  We have always had a great co parenting relationship.  i wouldnt consider us friends per say but there are times we dont agree.  What is your CO if you have one.  and what is he doing that is so wrong?  Taking away parenting time is the worst thing to do because from exp.  my dad kept me and my sis from my mom when he was pissed and it affected us more then her.  It felt like punishment to us when all we wanted to do is see my mom.  why wouuld you do that, if he is not endangering your son.  Just because you dont like that he parents different? 

by on Oct. 16, 2013 at 6:55 PM

We were never really together. We went to school together, and we were friends. However it was a summer fling that left me with a surprise.

by Amanda on Oct. 16, 2013 at 7:00 PM
I am friends with dd's father. It's hard, but we have gotten to the point where we can actually talk about things without him getting so mad he walks away. It's taken over 5 years to get to this, though. These things just take time and a lot of patience.
by on Oct. 16, 2013 at 7:08 PM

I only take my son away because he does things we already agreed we would not do. Like take him around other people who are bad people to begin with, I dont do it just because he makes me mad. I ignore him when that happens.

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