Should parents with babies too young to eat candy go trick-or-treating?
Congratulations! It's your first Halloween as a parent. You know what this means? For the first time since you were a kid you get to go trick-or-treating again. Candy for everyone, yayyyy!
What's that? Babies are too young to eat candy? Well of course, silly. The candy isn't for the baby -- it's for you! You're just using your baby as candy bait. Everyone will know that, and they will still totally respect you in the morning. Here's seven completely reasonable and not-at-all ridiculous reasons why you should go trick-or-treating with a baby.
1. The candy. Oh yeah right, like anyone is going to refuse you candy with a cute baby like that! Just look at that face. Anyone who makes a baby that cute definitely deserves a snack-sized Snickers or two.
2. It's free. Now that you're spending all of your money on diapers you have less money for candy. Why on God's green earth would you pass up an opportunity for free candy?
3. Everyone must see your baby's cute costume. Have you seen these adorable babywearing costumes? And these crazy costume pacifiers? Anyone replicating this incredible Jabba the Hutt/Princess Leia costume? You've already chosen/made the CUTEST baby Halloween costume, ever. And every single one of your neighbors needs to see it.
4. See and... C'mon, don't you want to see everyone else's costume? The kids get more creative every year.
5. Be seen. Let's face it, you haven't been out of the house more than a couple times since your baby was born two months ago. Get some fresh air. Walk around. Show them your baby didn't eat you both alive.
5. Reconnaissance. Someday your little one will be big enough to go trick-or-treating for their own candy. And you need to know what to expect. Who has the mini bars? Who gives away that shitty 100-year-old taffy and those Smarties no one likes.
6. It's legal. Is there a law against grownups with babies trick-or-treating? No, there is not. Okay? It's not like you're breaking a law or anything.
And now, just because I love it so much, let's enjoy that Jabba and Leia costume again.
Do you think parents with babies too young to eat candy should go trick-or-treating?