Ah, Halloween ... the holiday where we throw conventional wisdom out the window and encourage our kids to wander the streets at night and take candy from strangers. Gotta love it!
Unless you’re a helicopter parent, of course. Then Halloween is probably your living nightmare.
Here are the top eight reasons Halloween is hell on helicopter parents:
Your child doesn't want to wear a coat over her fairy princess tutu. She's obviously going to get hypothermia or frostbite at the very least.
There's poison in that chocolate. You just know it. Maybe not, but there could be, and that's basically the same.
Your baby might be scarred for life after a night of skeery skeletons, zombies, witches, and monsters. No no no, we do not smile at Death!
Burglars Casing Your Joint
Those tricky parents following their little ones around from house to house are really cat burglars in disguise. Be especially aware if they make any small-talk comments like "nice house."
What kid wouldn't be lured by a shady stranger with candy on Halloween? Especially one in a 1950s costume that matches her own?
That's it. Your daughter is going to end up on 16 & Pregnant -- and it will all be because she was exposed to floozie ghosts in skimpy costumes on the last day of October.
Those jack-o-lanterns are smiling, but you know that two terrified little boys are trapped inside those gourds. The pumpkins are stuck on their heads for life!
Frickin' crazy drivers out there ... you know they're not paying attention to trick-or-treaters at all!
Do you worry about weird things on Halloween?