Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

20 Something Moms 20 Something Moms

Can u change ur personality?

Posted by on Nov. 21, 2013 at 10:01 AM
  • 9 Replies
Ever since I was young I have had trouble making friends. When I would I would usually end up being hurt by them emotionally somehow and the u would hate them and hold a grudge even to this day 20 years later.

I have had problems with family members as well and if they hurt me or now my children emotionally develop a long lasting grudge.

I have had several jobs where my personality clashes with other people and I end up l losing the job.

Also there is a lot of drama in my life there always has been example my baby shower had 2 fights in the family one indirectly caused by me. My one and only grind that's a girl has moved across the country and loves skypeing with me every week but says I have an unusual amount of drama in my life.

So my mother keeps telling me that there is something wrong with me and my personality that I have have to change.

So at this point after 28 years of fighting with people and holding grudges I have no idea what to do or if it's even possible to change my personality.


I think I will just keep to myself from now on and be very quiet. Even though is think I am like that now I will just withdraw more into myself

Suggestions?
by on Nov. 21, 2013 at 10:01 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-9):
C.H.E.L.S.E.A
by Silver Member on Nov. 21, 2013 at 11:06 AM

 No, you can't change your personality. But with effort you can change some of your behaviors.

MamaBear2cubs
by Nikki on Nov. 21, 2013 at 11:10 AM

I don't know about changing your personality. I'd try sorrounding yourself with people who have a similar personality to yourself and see how that works.

Fordprefect
by Member on Nov. 21, 2013 at 11:11 AM

I have a friend who finds her self in situations like this and now has very few friends left. I can't say for you what it is, but for her, she has a difficult time seeing past herself. If someone goes some where and doesn't invite her, they must hate her, if someone else is in a relationship and she's single, they must be laughing at her. If someone else is having a hard time, then she has to tell them how she has it worse. She also thinks that if you don't like some one that you should make that known. As adults, there are times when we have to suck it up and deal with people we don't like, it's not being fake to not call them a bitch every time you see them, it's being mature. IF any of these things sound like you, then you should work on those and I think you will be happier, if not, I think the fact that you are taking an assessment of yourself to see if maybe there is something to correct is a good thing.

MamaPeanut
by Kristy on Nov. 21, 2013 at 1:48 PM
This. Therapy would be helpful.

Quoting C.H.E.L.S.E.A:

 No, you can't change your personality. But with effort you can change some of your behaviors.

TempestRayne
by Donna on Nov. 21, 2013 at 4:01 PM

I would say that it is also possible to become stuck in a rut where you are around people who expect you to act a certain way and basically goad you in to acting that way, or you just get stuck reacting to them in a certain way.   Try hanging out with new people, and see if you can pick people who model the behaviours you want to develop. that will make it easier.

MMerrill
by Melissa on Nov. 21, 2013 at 4:30 PM

You don't need to be quiet or keep to yourself to eliminate drama :)

Don't change your personality, just make better choices about the way you say things and your tone.  Also with who you might hang out with, if they are having a negative impact on your attitude/life.  Those two things there might make all the difference!

wedding countdown

Lilypie Premature Baby tickers

luvmybug
by Amanda on Nov. 21, 2013 at 5:21 PM
I honestly don't think you can actually change your personality. But with the help of a therapist or counselor, you can change some of your behaviors, and they will help you figure some things out about yourself that you never knew you could do. Good luck!
frndlyfn
by Silver Member on Nov. 21, 2013 at 5:54 PM
1 mom liked this

I think it is more behaviors and your coping skills.   I do not think you learned ever how to forgive people for any transgressions against you.

Seximama89
by on Nov. 24, 2013 at 8:02 PM
Wow I'm just like you. I have cut so many people out of my life because they end up pissing me off so bad. Maybe you have borderline personality disorder. That's what I have and it's hard for me to keep friends and relationships , I push people away . But you know a lot if times they deserve it.
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)