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DH doesn't want another baby but I'm secretly wishing I'm pregnant UPDATED

Posted by on Dec. 17, 2013 at 10:05 PM
  • 4 Replies

Sorry for the weird title, it was the best I could do...and it's accurate I guess...

I want another baby so bad. My Jan baby (Ben) was my first and only so far. DH is 10 years older than me and when I talk about wanting another, he just doesn't think he could handle another baby/toddler phase. And I respect that, he's just being honest and he knows I still want another and is very sorry about everything. He has said though that if I were to become pregnant unintentionally, we'd make it work. I have a Paraguard IUD though. So that brings you up to speed to this week and last. Last week I started my very first grown-up job, one I'm actually using my degree for (kinda).

DH had a very good night that night to celebrate my first day on the job...I was set to ovulate Wednesday and I had a light tinge of color almost like spotting for a few days. Friday after I got Ben to bed (8 o'clock) I went straight to sleep and slept all night. Sunday I started feeling a bit nauseous and I haven't been going to the bathroom very well lately but DH and I were intimate again. Then yesterday I had to kick my new boss out of the bathroom so I could throw up. I almost NEVER throw up unless I'm pregnant (and even with Ben I threw up maybe 5 times the entire pregnancy and some of those were heat related) or REALLY sick. So I went home and slept till DH had to go to work. I took a clearblue test (the ones that tell you how many weeks you're pregnant) right after I left work and it was negative, but I had just peed before I left work so it wasn't first morning or stored up for very long at all. I got a negative, but I only ovulated last week. I have been cramping a lot though and my back is killing me like it did with Ben but that could also be my new job.

I am secretly wishing that I am pregnant but I'm scared that if I am A) when they remove my IUD will I lose the baby? B) Will DH really be willing to accept it and C) we're still not in a good place financially and another baby would defintely set us back and D) how will this effect my new job? It's very hands on (it's an animatronics studio) and I do a lot of bending, lifting, prying and I'm around a lot of chemicals.

Not many would readily support us having another baby right now (or in a few cases not at all) so I don't really have anyone to vent this to. I have 2 more tests and I'm thinking of taking one tomorrow with first morning urine and one next week.


UPDATE: So, I'm not pregnant...apparently all the cramping really was because I was sick. I don't know how I didn't realize that I hadn't been pooping regularly and once I DID manage to go...let's just say it's been a long day. I'm pretty bummed because I looked at a chinese gender chart (it was right with my son) and when I WOULD have conceived, I would have gotten my girl. Pretty bummed but DH has been sounding really extra stressed lately due to my new job and he's getting less sleep because of it so I guess it's for the best. I'm going to give myself 6 more months to try to talk him into it and if he still hasn't changed his mind I'm going to have him get snipped so I can get this damn IUD out and stop worrying/hoping when I have episodes like this.


CafeMom Tickers
by on Dec. 17, 2013 at 10:05 PM
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Replies (1-4):
MamaLioness2012
by on Dec. 17, 2013 at 11:19 PM

BUMP!

Serabeth06
by Bronze Member on Dec. 18, 2013 at 6:26 AM
1 mom liked this

Well, we're sort'f in the opposite boat in my house. My SO really..really, really really, wants another baby because he's turning 30 and I think sees this as his last shot at having a baby, and I'm wishing I could have talked to OB into tying my tubes instead of giving me an IUD. Well, last Thursday, the damn IUD came out on me, so, shit. But, back to your troubles. I think you definitely need to talk to your DH about how you're feeling. It could just be that you're sick, or you could be pregnant, but the feelings you're having need to be aired out with your DH. A.) If you're pregnant, the first thing that needs to be determined is if it's intrauterine or tubal. If the bun is in the uterus, and the strings to your IUD are still hanging out of your cervix, they'll want to remove it. If they can't see the strings, removal would require and ultrasound and opening the cervix, so they'd likely leave it in, but you'll want to -talk to the doctor- about it. You need an ultrasound anyways to be sure you weren't having a tubal pregnancy. B. Only you and DH can know if he'd really be OK with having another little one to take care of. Talk to DH about it. C. A lot of people who get pregnant aren't in a "good place" financially, because a good place financially is hard to attain. I know that's an unpopular notion on this site for the perfect women, but really, it's true for us down here at the bottom. You need to talk to DH about your finances and try to get yourselves prepared if you are pregnant, or decide to become pregnant. D. If you are pregnant, you need to talk to your boss about how it affects your job. I was pregnant while I was learning to become a welder and machinist, so.. Had to give it up, because of the toxic fumes from the arc welder. :/ I've worked through my pregnancies, but you need to talk to your DH, your OB, and your boss for the real answers to your concerns. If you just ovulated, just hang in there and test next week. (: Good luck, mama.

jessica4212011
by Member on Dec. 18, 2013 at 7:15 PM
1 mom liked this

I kinda had those thoughts after I had my first. I knew his dad didn't really want any more but I kinda did, I wasnt freaking when I found out I was pregnant again. I used to tease him that we had to have another baby so Ben would have some one to fight with lol. I have two younger brothers and so does he. I didn't want Ben to be a only child. Then a few months later I was pregnant not intentional but welcomed at least by me. Dont get me wrong he loves his boys but he definitely won't be father of the year.

newmommy1257
by Member on Dec. 19, 2013 at 12:31 AM
1 mom liked this

Bump for Update!!!!

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