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Hubby refuses to help out!

Posted by on Jan. 1, 2014 at 7:13 PM
  • 18 Replies
My husband works third shift an therefore spends most of his day sleeping. I completely understand and have never faulted him for it even though most days it leaves me feeling like a single mom.
Lately though he has basically refused to help out with anything when he's awake. He won't do dishes, rarely helps clean and when he does he gets angry. And doesn't do much with the kids. Even on his nights off when he's awake at night he won't take care of the baby when he wakes up crying in the middle of the night. Instead he waits for me to wake up and take care of him while he watches TV and messes around on FB or on the iPad.
I try to talk to him but it hasn't made any difference. I'm not sure what to do now. I just know my patience is growing extremely thin.
Am I being unrealistic? Or am I being too demanding?
I should probably add that I also work full time AND I have worked third shift before. But I still got things done around the house and I was expected to. If I was a stay at home mom it probably wouldn't bother me QUITE as much.
by on Jan. 1, 2014 at 7:13 PM
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Replies (1-10):
erin708
by Silver Member on Jan. 1, 2014 at 7:19 PM
1 mom liked this
He sounds like a selfish asshole. I would never put up with that.
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Lovemyangels88
by on Jan. 1, 2014 at 7:27 PM

You should not have to deal with that.  If you have already expressed your feelings about it to him and it's making no difference, I think something may be wrong.  It doesnt seem like something like that is going to get any better if he is not willing to try.  I'm sorry that your in that situation and I hope it works out for you.

brandirose1287
by on Jan. 1, 2014 at 8:34 PM
Quoting Lovemyangels88:

You should not have to deal with that.  If you have already expressed your feelings about it to him and it's making no difference, I think something may be wrong.  It doesnt seem like something like that is going to get any better if he is not willing to try.  I'm sorry that your in that situation and I hope it works out for you.



I wish he could see it from my view. He truly sees nothing wrong.
Lovemyangels88
by on Jan. 1, 2014 at 8:47 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting brandirose1287:
Quoting Lovemyangels88:

You should not have to deal with that.  If you have already expressed your feelings about it to him and it's making no difference, I think something may be wrong.  It doesnt seem like something like that is going to get any better if he is not willing to try.  I'm sorry that your in that situation and I hope it works out for you.



I wish he could see it from my view. He truly sees nothing wrong.

That really sucks and I'm sorry.  If it doesn't get any better now, the odds are that they are probably not going to :(

TempestRayne
by Donna on Jan. 1, 2014 at 9:36 PM
Your husband is a db.
IrishMama625
by on Jan. 2, 2014 at 11:37 PM

Maybe things are boring?? I am not trying to be mean but it seems like he is either burnt out or bored. I know you probably need just as much relaxation but try to spice it up or give him a nice rub. Then tell him you need help the next day so you can be ready to do it again. If he doesnt like the attention or return the favors, then something more might be up... 

Serabeth06
by Bronze Member on Jan. 3, 2014 at 6:43 AM

I'm sorry to hear that! ): It sucks to feel like a single mom with dad in the house. I don't think you're being unrealistic. If he expects you to go to work, come home and clean, cook, and take care of the kids, then he can do the same (or at least something close to the same). Just make sure you explain to him that you are feeling overwhelmed and underhelped.

mama2b100808
by Mandy on Jan. 3, 2014 at 7:19 AM

 I think it is time for you guys to talking about what is going on. You need help and he can't just sit there and not help. He helped make those kids he also needs to be a dad to them. :) Good luck.

brandirose1287
by on Jan. 3, 2014 at 9:14 AM
1 mom liked this
Thanks ladies! It makes me feel better that I'm not being crazy.
k9l1c5
by Ruby Member on Jan. 3, 2014 at 10:17 AM

I don't think you are being too demanding at all! Especially since you BOTH work. Why should you have to go to work and then come home and clean the house without his help? That is just messed up and would piss me off if I was in that situation. Hopefully he will realize soon how wrong this is. How long has he been working 3rd? What shift do you work? 

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