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one party or two.... please hlp

Posted by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 3:44 AM
  • 4 Replies

My sons father (A) and I have been broken up for awhile but we have gotten along and have done birthdays and holidays together up until this year. For the first time, I had Christmas alone with my son. His father wanted to be there but I have moved on and am in a new relationship. With someone whom A does not like. We will call my  new bf B. Well A and B do have a negative history and it does all have to do with me. Now it is time for my son's 6th birthday. I am planning it and paying for it. A does not really ever hold a job long enough to pay support. He says he wants to though. So he most likely wasnt going to help pay for the party. Tonight I told him that I intend to invite B and his daughter to my son's birthday party as well. Now we were originally planning to do this together and A was going to come to the party along with his side of the family. Well once I told A that i was going to invite B, he said "no youre not and if you do there will be a fight. I will punch him in the face and beat his ass" I told him to grow up and act like an adult and that none of that would be happening at the party. We fought about it a little bit and he finally said "well then i wont come, i'll throw my own party for him, i dont have to help you with his party and I wont."

So now I do feel bad... naturally. I want my son to enjoy his birthday and I want what is best for him. But I find it frustrating that his father can not be an adult about the new man in our lives. Do you think I should just invite his dad to the party and leave my boyfriend and his daughter off the invite list or do I say... fine have your own party and just have my own and invite whoever I want?

Should I feel bad? I'm sorry Im new at the single mom stuff and I struggle with it alot. Emotionally it is rough and draining.

by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 3:44 AM
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Replies (1-4):
pinkiebabii
by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 4:37 AM
1 mom liked this
I would be doing to separate parties until he can act like an adult which I bet will be quick when he realizes how expensive and time consuming party planning is.
esox
by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 4:37 AM
Its nice that you have been able to make it 6 years doing things together. It sounds like you have moved on and A hasn't. I would say its time to just go ahead and start doing things separately. If A really does feel that much anger towards B, it could cause tension (not saying it will) and trouble that no one needs during a birthday party.

Does A already take your son every once in a while where he could have his own party for him? Your son would probably love having two special days.
mama2b100808
by Mandy on Jan. 8, 2014 at 9:59 AM

 I would do different parties because I don't think your ex will ever grow up.

MamaBear2cubs
by Nikki on Jan. 8, 2014 at 11:00 AM

If he wants to throw his son a seperate birthday party I'd just let him do it.

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