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I Lie to My 2-Year-Old & Couldn't Be Prouder Of It

Posted by on Jan. 21, 2014 at 10:27 AM
  • 18 Replies

I Lie to My 2-Year-Old & Couldn't Be Prouder Of It

by Corey Levitan

I will never lie to my daughter. I remember promising this to myself. That was before we got her the "phone" that was really an iPod Touch. And before we started taking it out of her crib at bedtime, claiming that it needs charging. And before we told her that frozen yogurt was ice cream.

Then there are the Top 3 lies we all tell our kids: (1) If you don't come with me now, you're staying here; (2) We're almost there; and (3) We'll come back tomorrow.

We are now so comfortable lying to our two-year-old, it has become a game, with the best perjuries rating mother/father high fives. (Hmm. I wonder if this is how Bernie Madoff got his start.)

For instance, Skylar currently thinks that her Playskool Elmo guitar -- which has neither a volume control nor an on/off switch and shrieks, "Are you ready to rock with Elmo?!" whenever approached, only "rock" sounds like "whack," which could just be my imagination since the Elmo scandal -- is broken and needs to be fixed. (Actually, once the garbage truck shows up, it will be broken and need to be fixed, so that wasn't even a lie.)

Being a serial liar can bite you in the ass, however, although this will probably not stop you. And so I learned that calling your beer a "coffee" spares you no grief if, in the supermarket, your child cracks passersby up by pointing to every six pack and yelling: "Look, it's daddy's coffee!"

What are your favorite things to lie to your kid about?

by on Jan. 21, 2014 at 10:27 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Honey_Comb
by Bronze Member on Jan. 21, 2014 at 2:30 PM
"There's no vegetables in this, I swear"
torinicole89
by New Member on Jan. 21, 2014 at 2:33 PM

 santa clause easter bunny jack frost tooth fairy sand man and various other mythical beings.

 

i also havent told him im pregnant....

mama2b100808
by Mandy on Jan. 21, 2014 at 2:34 PM

"Oh no baby girl that's not medicines, I promise."

roseblossom90
by Bronze Member on Jan. 21, 2014 at 3:19 PM
2 moms liked this

I'm guilty of acting like I am leaving my oldest somewhere when she refuses to come with me. Then I will tell her that there is no more ice cream or whatever if she wants a second bowl. Oh, and that a booger will eat her fingers off if she picks her nose. (That stemmed from her grandfather who doesn't have the tip of his middle finger from the top knuckle. He used to tell DH that and now he tells my daughter that.)

JRSMOM0621
by on Jan. 21, 2014 at 4:07 PM

um Santa? aside from that I pretty much tell him the truth. For those really loud toys he gets those at night when daddy and I are both home and can swap for some quiet time!

Mommy to one angel, 1 crazy toddler and 1 on the way!!
AromaDrops33
by on Jan. 21, 2014 at 4:09 PM
2 moms liked this
Chucky cheese isn't open today ....lol
Stb_MrsW
by on Jan. 21, 2014 at 4:19 PM
One night when we were putting her to bed I referred to an Oreo that was sitting on the dinner table as a chocolate cracker ( she knew what cookies were but had no interest in crackers) . So when we saw them at the store the next time she asked to get more chocolate crackers with white stuff lol
MamaBear2cubs
by Nikki on Jan. 21, 2014 at 10:55 PM

Sorry babe McDonalds is closed today. LOL I tell my son that all the time.

girlfriendcj70
by Member on Jan. 21, 2014 at 11:29 PM

Sorry, everyone is 0ut of ice cream. lol. 

lil_momma1411
by on Jan. 22, 2014 at 1:03 AM
This!! I feel like I'm telling my daughter this every day. If I don't tell her we would live at chucke cheese.

Quoting AromaDrops33: Chucky cheese isn't open today ....lol
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