Raise your hand if you’ve ever fudged a little bit on a Facebook status update to make yourself seem just a little bit cooler. The rest of y’all are liars. Let’s not think of it as being dishonest, per se, but rather as putting our best foot forward.
We all embellish our accomplishments here and there, and Facebook makes it easier than ever to do so. It’s even created a syndrome called “Facebook Envy,” which causes you to feel dejected and like you’re a failure and your life is over and you might as well turn into a pumpkin whenever you see all the cool things your friends are posting about.
Geez, some people are rather dramatic, aren’t they? Let’s keep it in perspective, people. I’m willing to bit that everyone fudges just a little bit when over-sharing on social media.
Here are 10 white lies people tell on Facebook.
The post: 5 mile run! WTG me!
The reality: Three and a half mile power walk, but I jogged for an entire block, so we’re calling this one a run.
The post: The baby was up every hour last night. Coffee. Now.
The reality: The baby was up two or more times. It felt like all night. Please everyone feel sympathetic for me.
The post: New shoes make me happy!
The reality: I seriously can’t afford new shoes, but that’s what credit cards are for, right?
The post: Fantastic day at the beach with the fam.
The reality: Exhausting day at the beach, the kids are now whiny and sunburned, and there’s sand in my nether regions.
The post: Juice cleanse day four -- my skin looks amazing!
The reality: I’m so hangry I could punch a bitch. My glowy skin is all I have besides hunger pangs, so I’m going to brag the hell out of it.
The post: My two-year-old just wrote her own name!
The reality: My toddler made some scribbles, pointed to it, and said her name out loud.
The post: I seriously need to lose five pounds -- who wants to be my accountability partner?
The reality: I need to lose 15 pounds, but don’t want to admit how much I’ve let myself go.
The post: Valentines Day is a made-up Hallmark holiday.
The reality: I’m single and trying to not be bothered by it, or my significant other isn’t into it and I’m trying not to be bitter.
The post: I just cleaned the whole house and am now basking in the sparkle.
The reality: I put some things away, did the dishes, and wiped the counters. The sparkle is from the glitter on the floor from the kids’ latest craft project that needs vacuuming.
The post: I’m taking a break from Facebook for a while.
The reality: I’m taking a break from Facebook until tomorrow.
What little lies have you told on Facebook?