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When's the last time you knew you were a mother?

Posted by on Jun. 2, 2014 at 10:18 AM
  • 10 Replies

20 Ways You Know You're a Mother

by Jill Smokler

The other day, I went to get a pen from my bag and instead pulled out 1) a lollipop from the bank from a month ago, 2) three rainbow loom bracelets, 3) my son's broken glasses, 4) a rogue soccer sock, and 5) three broken crayons.  

I'm such a mother, I thought, rolling my eyes at myself.

I asked my Facebook friends when the last time they had that thought was, and I could relate to every single answer. Here, 20 ways you know you're a mother.

1. You don't want to go to bed once the kids go to sleep because it's the only time it's been quiet all day.

2. You put a towel over the pee spot on the bed because it's 3 a.m. and you're too exhausted to worry about changing the sheets.

3. Your 3-year-old asks where you're going just because you put jeans on.

4. You're excited about sleeping in on Sunday ... and "sleeping in" means 8 a.m.

5. You're driving in the car and singing along to the kids' CD only to realize three songs later that the kid's not in the car and you could have been listening to real music.

6. Shitting, showering, and shaving before noon feels like you won the freaking lottery.

7. You wipe a snotty nose on the inside of the bottom of your shirt without a single qualm!

8. You wear the same yoga pants and T-shirt to bed that you wore all day and yesterday too.

9. Walking out the door, your children are dressed and look like they could be in a magazine ... but you are a hot mess and realize you never brushed your own hair or did your makeup.

10. When you see something brown on the floor and you have to sniff it because you don't know if it's chocolate or poop.

11. When someone says their stomach hurts (even if they're not your kid) and you ask them did they poop today.

12. Weird things come out of your mouth, like "Don't lick the couch" and "Your sister doesn't want to eat the penguin."

13. You realize you haven't looked at yourself in the mirror in three days and you have no idea what you look like and are afraid to find out.

14. A peaceful vacation is going to the supermarket ALONE.

15. Any child in a store yells mommy and you turn and look.

16. You have to empty the bath of toys before you can get in it.

17. You get mad and just go through every kid's name until you finally get to the name you meant to yell.

18. You spend $200 at Kohl's, and not a single item is for you.

19. A quiet house feels wrong!

20. You have to finish watching Doc McStuffins after your toddler goes to bed, just to see what happens.

Who were we before these kids, again?

When's the last time you knew you were a mother?

by on Jun. 2, 2014 at 10:18 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MamaBear2cubs
by Nikki on Jun. 2, 2014 at 10:52 AM

I was watching cartoons this morning and the kids weren't even in the room lol.

blazenangel5
by on Jun. 2, 2014 at 11:09 AM
Lol reading the title I had intentions of saying when I went to my purse and pulled out beaded bracelets, vampire teeth, play tools etc....then the first part of the story proves I'm not alone
mama2b100808
by on Jun. 2, 2014 at 2:08 PM

When my daughter came in this morning and gave me a big hun and told me she loved me for being her mommy. 

k9l1c5
by on Jun. 2, 2014 at 5:26 PM

Lol, these are hilarious and totally true. I could relate to every one of these.

annas_momma
by Member on Jun. 2, 2014 at 5:32 PM
Right now,as my daughter is shaking my leg saying jiggle jiggle, while I read this.
Desidee
by on Jun. 2, 2014 at 7:17 PM
1 mom liked this
Went to the grocery store last night singing to the Frozen soundtrack completely forgot my kids stayed home with my husband lol

Quoting Cafe Steph:


20 Ways You Know You're a Mother


by Jill Smokler


The other day, I went to get a pen from my bag and instead pulled out
1) a lollipop from the bank from a month ago, 2) three rainbow loom
bracelets, 3) my son's broken glasses, 4) a rogue soccer sock, and 5)
three broken crayons.  


I'm such a mother, I thought, rolling my eyes at myself.


I asked my Facebook friends when the last time they had that thought
was, and I could relate to every single answer. Here, 20 ways you know
you're a mother.

1. You don't want to go to bed once the kids go to sleep because it's the only time it's been quiet all day.


2. You put a towel over the pee spot on the bed because it's 3 a.m. and you're too exhausted to worry about changing the sheets.


3. Your 3-year-old asks where you're going just because you put jeans on.


4. You're excited about sleeping in on Sunday ... and "sleeping in" means 8 a.m.


5. You're driving in the car and singing along to the kids' CD only
to realize three songs later that the kid's not in the car and you could have been listening to real music.


6. Shitting, showering, and shaving before noon feels like you won the freaking lottery.


7. You wipe a snotty nose on the inside of the bottom of your shirt without a single qualm!


8. You wear the same yoga pants and T-shirt to bed that you wore all day and yesterday too.


9. Walking out the door, your children are dressed and look like they
could be in a magazine ... but you are a hot mess and realize you never brushed your own hair or did your makeup.


10. When you see something brown on the floor and you have to sniff it because you don't know if it's chocolate or poop.


11. When someone says their stomach hurts (even if they're not your kid) and you ask them did they poop today.


12. Weird things come out of your mouth, like "Don't lick the couch" and "Your sister doesn't want to eat the penguin."


13. You realize you haven't looked at yourself in the mirror in three days and you have no idea what you look like and are afraid to find out.


14. A peaceful vacation is going to the supermarket ALONE.


15. Any child in a store yells mommy and you turn and look.


16. You have to empty the bath of toys before you can get in it.


17. You get mad and just go through every kid's name until you finally get to the name you meant to yell.


18. You spend $200 at Kohl's, and not a single item is for you.


19. A quiet house feels wrong!


20. You have to finish watching Doc McStuffins after your toddler goes to bed, just to see what happens.


Who were we before these kids, again?


When's the last time you knew you were a mother?

threat
by Bronze Member on Jun. 3, 2014 at 1:05 AM
yep every single one I've done or do a lot... in all honesty o forgot what I was like before kids.
Courtney610
by Courtney on Jun. 3, 2014 at 7:23 AM
These are hilarious!
Reese2010727
by on Jun. 3, 2014 at 12:13 PM
Last night I experienced #16...that's everyday though lol
MamaLama710
by on Jun. 3, 2014 at 1:26 PM
These are great, I can totally relate to each and every one of them.

Would have to add feeding everyone (except for yourself) and realizing you haven't eaten anything an hour later as you catch yourself picking at your kids leftovers. Lol
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