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kids

Posted by on Oct. 21, 2017 at 1:09 AM
  • 11 Replies

do yall think thats it wrong to have a kid and not be married to the baby daddy? i feel weird cause i am not married to my sons dad and everyone tells me that you need to be married to the dad so that he can have both parents in his life.

by on Oct. 21, 2017 at 1:09 AM
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Replies (1-10):
CandiMom16
by Member on Oct. 21, 2017 at 11:32 AM

Why would the parents have to be married for both to be in the kid's life? We have friends of the family who aren't married, have been a couple for more than 20 years, and have raised 3 kids together.

caydensmommy8
by Member on Oct. 21, 2017 at 2:21 PM
You don't need to be married. DH and I werent married at the time I had DS. We didn't think it was important at the time and were focused on just taking care of and raising him. And when we did get married, our son was almost 4.
nightingale77
by on Oct. 24, 2017 at 4:42 AM

At the end of the day, it’s a choice. With this choice, what are the possible consequences might entails? Most people (myself included) feels that it’s right to marry the child’s father. For me, I feel blibically is a right thing to do also. Have you and your partner talk about this topic at all? 

KylersMom8-16-7
by Bronze Member on Oct. 24, 2017 at 12:04 PM
Nope. My husband and I have been together for 12 years (since 15) and only married the past two years. We have been through a lot and when we finally decided to get married it was a mutual decision. We just eloped and we signed the marriage certificate over burgers and drinks with our friend who is ordained.

Honestly marriage isn't a guarantee that a parent will be present either. Marriages end every day, I think it's really important to know it's right for you. Some people just say "it's only a piece of paper" but for me it's more then that.

I would not have gotten married just because we had kids, that's not a good reason to get married in my opinion, and it had nothing to do with our choice to get married.

Quoting hpeckham:

do yall think thats it wrong to have a kid and not be married to the baby daddy? i feel weird cause i am not married to my sons dad and everyone tells me that you need to be married to the dad so that he can have both parents in his life.

CheerioHolder
by Member on Oct. 24, 2017 at 12:14 PM
Of course it's ideal to have both parents working together to raise a child and the easiest way of making that work is probably for the parents to be committed to one another as well as their family prior to having kids. However, that's not the only way to raise a child. There are tons of wonderful parents raising happy healthy children, who aren't living together or married. Also tons of single parents. It's not a good idea to marry someone solely because you have a child together. Just be the best mom you possibly can, whether you're single, dating or married. Just be a good mom. Don't worry about meeting other people's standards. Be your version of a kick ass mom, because you and your child's opinions are the only ones that actually matter when it comes down to it, really.

I personally was with my husband for six years and we already had two of our children before we got married. I do sometimes wish I had accepted his first proposal and done things 'in order' so to speak. But I mean, getting married didn't all of a sudden make me rank up to a better mother. I was already a good mom and he a good dad before we tied the knot.
Reese2010727
by . on Oct. 24, 2017 at 2:35 PM

Marriage is not necessary for both parents to be active in the child's life. Don't feel pressured to do anything you don't want to do or aren't ready for.  Getting married for the sake of the child is a bad move in my opinion because nothing is guaranteed.

JkBrauer
by Member on Oct. 25, 2017 at 8:49 AM

 Yes, that's the best option! But do not get married for only that reason. You need to truly in love and  fully committed when you stand up there...You are making a vow before God and the public. How committed is the dad to his sons/?

MistyMoo
by Amber on Dec. 6, 2017 at 10:36 PM
I don't think it's wrong. I'm not married to my kids father. I'm not really all that concerned if it is or isn't, really.
lovely.mess
by Bronze Member on Dec. 7, 2017 at 10:33 AM
No! My family tried getting me to marry my ex it would have been the biggest mistake that would end in a divorce. He lacked to many things like the want to support a family he couldn't keep a job because he was to busy doing drugs. I went my separate way from him. He saw my son when he was about 4 months old and that was the last time. He's not tried to contact since 2007.
BooBooBoom
by New Member on Dec. 9, 2017 at 7:23 AM

No, marriage is just a piece of paper. A child can have both parents in their life without them being married

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