opinions please

[sarrah]

ok... this has nothing to do with being a mom or with babies but i really need some opinions in wat i should do.

i have this friend who i love to death. we have been friends since 8th grade and have always been really close. but she has been doing some serious drugs lately :( i do not know wat to do. i have tried to help her in the past. when i first found out i was preg. i found out she started doing cocain with some friends of hers from work. my husband and i both tried talking to her but she kept doing it.... so i stopped talking to her because i was planning a wedding and i was preg. and couldnt deal with that. right before i had my daughter we started talking again and i was under the impression she stopped doing all that crazy stuff. recentally i find out she is still doing it and some hard core "partying" if thats even wat u call it. but my problem is i dont know wat to do. obviously she is gonna do wat she wants... but if anything ever happened to her i would feel completely awful. but then again i DO NOT want my daughter around her. i know my daughter is only 7 months old and dont really know wats going on but i still dont want her around that.
so should i try and talk to her again even tho she didnt seem to care last time.... or do i stop talking to her again??
thank u ladies in advance for any opinions and sorry this is long!

[mommy2lyaiza]

 There is only so much you can say. A person who wants to do it is going to no matter what you say. I just recently found out that my BILs are doing crack And one of their Girlfriends has a 2month old in the house. I talked to her and she said oh well they only do it outside. And SHE DOESNT EVEN CARE.....   Well I talk to my guy and we decided that we just kinda have to cut our ties with them. IM not bringing my daughter into a house that thats going on They always get noise complants and other issues and I dont want my daughter anywhere near that stuff especially if it means putting her in a dangours situation or a situation that DCF could get involed in.    I told her that If they want to come to our house thats fine but they cant bring drugs. But your a mom now so you gotta do whats right for you

[chainedtofate85]

she's an addict. shes not gonna stop til shes good and ready no matter what you OR ANYONE ELSE says!!! she needs to realize that she is ruining her own life and that you're not going to be a part of that. if she WANTS to change, she needs to get help but thats not up to you. its up to her to decide. if she likes who she is on drugs or likes to party and isnt ready to wake up and be an adult then no one can make her. i say keep ur kid far away from her until she really does decide to stop. you and the baby dont need to be around people like her (i speak from experience!!!).

[hotmama716]

My  two older brothers are 2 peas in a pod, what the one does, the other does. They are both hard core drug addicts. My one brother is actullay looking 20 years for drug trafficing, manufacturing, selling you name it. The other is currently serving time for the same thing, only add car theft. They are drug addicts! They were not raised that way, they were taught right from wrong. They lost their way somewhere. They have abandoned their children- who adore them by the way, but don't need them when they are like this. They think everyone owes them and if your not doing something for them, your not worth their time. What I'm getting at is, they have to want to quit before they can. She has to hit rock bottom amd lose what is most important to her to realize. Hopefully it is just a phaze. But you can't agonize over her mistakes, all you can do is let her know that if she ever wants help if she ever needs anything to help her get clean and straigten up, then you will be the first one there, not until then because you are a wife and mother and a good friend. It is a hard thing to come to terms with, I know and I'm sorry you are having to go through this. Stick in there and hopefully one day she can take you up on it and ask for help.

[ak_mamma8186]

My theory is that  when you are friends with someone your lives with intertwine -what is in theirs will eventually touch yours and vice versa

I had to just very recently cut ties with  a friend because he started to do drugs and hang out with a not so great girl and I knew eventually his life would intertwine with mine and my 3 kid's if we stayed friends.

I would cut ties. It's painfull. I know. But that is what I had to do for me and my kids

[RZoeV]

You can tell her and tell her over and over again but if she thinks shes enjoying herself and just doesn't want to change her lifestyle yet then you're basically just wasting your breath. Especially if this is something she's heard before not just from you but from others. She's probably perfected the art of selective hearing for occassions like that. All you can do is try to help someone and it seems like you've done that already. I would just distance yourself and hope she's ok bu there's no need to keep her around if it could have a negative affect on you and your situation/family.