Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

20 Something Moms 20 Something Moms

Gasp...my naughty child

Posted by on Jul. 20, 2007 at 6:12 PM
  • 7 Replies
For seven years I worked in the early childcare field, I even got my associates in Early Childhood Development, I am small center director qualified and have been a head teacher for every age group, I have also worked with high risk centers, poverty centers and wealthy academy’s.  I often was the one that would meet with parents on their child’s behavior and help them to set up action plans to correct it.  I was proud to help and really thought I knew what I was talking about!!!!

Alas then cam the day that I had children of my own! The stage of infancy was a breeze and than one day my sweet baby became a TODDLER!!!  Not just any toddler mind you he became a very naughty toddler.  I try so hard to fall back on my training but isn’t it so much easier when your talking to someone else about THEIR child.  Now as a stay at home mom I find myself in a daily mental wrestling match with a 15 month old!!!! 

BITING: My child has become quite the bitter, I like to call him Hannibal.  At first I tried to tell him no and than turn all of my attention to the poor friend that he has bitten.  That didn’t work at all he would become so distraught about my attention shift that he began biting me while I was handing out condolences to his friends.  I guess he figured “she may think she can ignore me but how can she possibly ignore this“…CHOMP. Next I tried teaching him biting hurts and no I did not bit him myself to prove my point, instead I would point to the wound and say OUCH, OUCH. Then I would point to his mouth and say NO BITING.  This idea had interesting effect, he kept biting but now he would point to the mark and say OUCH, OUCH…..hmm that was not quite the result I was looking for.  Now alas I have resorted to time-out for all biting violations, a simple word NO followed by a time out, the only problem with that is there is no time out at Wal-Mart when he bites me in the knuckles as I’m pushing the cart. 

MY CHILD THE BATTERING RAM: It was when Mat started crawling that he started running into things with his head.  I was so concerned about this behavior that asked his doctor, the Doc so nicely told me (as my son was running head first into the office door at top speed) that his skull was very thick and he would never do it hard enough to knock himself out…as reassuring as that advice was I would still ask my wonder boy to please stop.  Soon he began to Head butt people, Daddy and his uncles immediately found this behavior to be cute and would giggle as he would crash skulls with them.  After a while my son thought it was so funny that he would head butt every one including his great grandmother, it was then that  began think maybe redirection would be a good idea.  I began asking for kisses instead of head butts and hugs instead of him plowing headfirst into my very pregnant belly.  At first he had no interest in handing out affection if there was head ramming to be done, now he will head butt me and then kiss me afterwards…hmmm…what a man making up for naughty behavior with kisses.   The doc says he will grow out of using his head as a weapon, I hope so but now I warn everyone hold at your own risk he has a herd head and knows how to use it.

SLAPPING: I don’t know how my child figured out to hit, it is some kind on natural instinct I guess because never has he been witness to hitting or slapping of any sort, come to think of it he has not been witness to biting or head butting either and he figured those out just fine.  My charming son now slaps for fun, you hold him and he will slap you on the head, sit on the floor and he will slap you on the legs and if your are doing something that he dose not think you should be doing (anything that draws your attention away from him) he will slap you and shout NO. I tried redirection with this too, I taught him to give high fives instead of slapping, now in addition to hitting he walks up to people at random and start slapping their hands….way to go on that one mom!!!  I have found that if I set him down or ignore him when he hits and it seems to make him stop and choose an nicer activity but as I said it’s hard to ignore him at the store when he is pelting my arms with baby slaps as I am doing the weekly shopping.

Although these behaviors can make me a TAD BIT edgy and a little frustrated I will happily take what ever it is he has to dish out.  Being a mother is worth all the bite marks, head butts and slaps in the world (now I’m not saying it doesn’t get exhausting after a while).  I am expecting my second child soon and I cannot wait to see just what kind of personality she will have to offer.  During my first year of motherhood I have learned so much, having a naughty child does not make you a bad mother, once you have a child you are never the same and becoming mother gives us a sense of humor we never knew we had.


 

by on Jul. 20, 2007 at 6:12 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-7):
mommasara
by on Jul. 20, 2007 at 6:22 PM
Im sorry I dont have much advice to give but Im right there with you - My son is 22 months old now and he is the same way - I was just reading your post to my DH and we were both laughing and releived that we are not alone! Great post though. Thank you! And just know you are not alone! :)
cancer72283
by on Jul. 20, 2007 at 6:39 PM

I have no advice. I do have to say this. My son is now 26 months. and He went through the biting stage, but not for long. I popped him in the mouth once and that is all it took. (OKay so go ahead and make nasty comments about that one). My son also hit his head on everything too. He done it one night on the corner of his dresser and I was scared it would do it again and hurt himself, he has since out grew that. I done the same thing you do and tell him no that it could hurt him and mommy don't like it when he does that. I would also cover his forhead with him hand when I could if I thought he was going to bang it on something. Head butting, well me and my son do this when we play. He's never head butted me hard (I have a pretty hard head because I used to play head butt with my dad), but daddy can't stand to be head butted by him and he knows that so he just don't head butt him. On the slapping thing. He just started this a few months ago and I am at my whits end on this one. I have tied everything expect putting him in time out or of course slapping him back, because that would defeat the purpose. I have grabbed his hand right afterward and got down to his level and in a very strict voice told him That hurts mommy and you don't smack in the face. That is a no no!!!!

MommyChaplin
by on Jul. 20, 2007 at 6:43 PM

Quoting mommasara:

Im sorry I dont have much advice to give but Im right there with you - My son is 22 months old now and he is the same way - I was just reading your post to my DH and we were both laughing and releived that we are not alone! Great post though. Thank you! And just know you are not alone
Good to know other mommies are feeling the same way.  At least we can laugh and find the humor in the frustrating times.


 

ncmommyof3
by on Jul. 20, 2007 at 6:43 PM
having a naughty child does not make you a bad mother, once you have a child you are never the same and becoming mother gives us a sense of humor we never knew we had.

Very well said! I couldn't agree more



Sometimes you just got to give yourself what you wish someone else would give you.~dr phil
EmmaKubz
by on Jul. 20, 2007 at 6:48 PM
I feel your pain! I do education too, so I have all these great theories and stuff, but in practicality....yeah, not so much. I honestly just think they all do it to test their limits, and as mothers we unfortunately have to constantly remind them it's bad and just hope that one day it gets through those thick skulls that can cause so much pain, lol! My son will be 2 next month and he likes to go around giving "bops" (hits) to everyone. It's really lovely when he does it at the park to other children. Getting his diaper changed is a true battle of wills and a genuine wrestling match. I have broken a sweat before. He climbs on the coffee table and when I tell him to get down he shakes his head and says no, and when I ask if he wants a time out he nods yes. So he gets one. Then the next day we do it all over again. He pulls the dogs tail and will throw anything in sight when he gets mad. I figure he's doing a lot of it to test me and get attention, so I just stick with timeouts and ignoring, and hope we make it through the terrible 1 1/2's/2's/3's/4's.......etc in once piece! But seriously, I think every mother goes through this, so we can all sympathize!
xbtrxswtx
by on Jul. 20, 2007 at 6:56 PM
lol i am relieved to see that every one of these moms goes thru it also. my daughter has never been much of a biter and never head butts, but she sure is a slapper! and she rips my glasses off my face when i wear them. i tell her not to hit but she just laughs and does it more. i thought it was just her being a brat, but now i know its pretty much all toddlers lol and my daughter is not even 14 months yet, so it looks like i have a long road ahead of me... well good luck with ur son, and know that we're all goin thru the pain too :)
chyna_doll
by on Jul. 20, 2007 at 6:58 PM
my girl is 32 months.
we've been through the biting and the hitting.

biting-i found the only way she learned not to bite is to be bitten herself.
she started biting me when she first got teeth. i would tell her "oww, no" but that didn't work, neither did time out so i told her if she bit me agian i'd bite her back. she hasn't bitten me or really anyone else since before she turned 2.

battering ram- lol, she'd knock herself out if she tried that one.

slapping-she use to do that all the time too, still does once in a while. but every time she slapped me or anyone else she'd get a slap on the hand first then on the butt if she didn't stop.

lol, we've just gotten over the cursing about a month or so ago.
now she's starting to tear her clothes out of her dresser.
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN