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Overreaction?

Posted by on Mar. 19, 2007 at 2:57 PM
  • 5 Replies
Before I get into what I'm wondering. I think its best to give a little backround so you can see the situation I'm in.

When I was 8 months pregnant, I had my baby shower. My parents were just beginning a divorce and I had had problems with his family in the past but I decided it would be nice to invite them anyways. My fiance's mom and grandma came for the shower. My guests included:

My mom
My sister
My brother, his wife, and his daughter (3 years old)
My aunt (my dad's side), her twin daughters (13 years old)
My grandma (my dad's side)
My other grandma (my mom's side)
My fiance's mom and grandma
And 2 friends of mine

Well everything went fine. I was not speaking to my dad at the time because of personal reasons pertaining to him owing my sister money. I had made it clear I would not accept gifts from him. He decided to send gifts anyways. I was polite and waited until we were packing up gifts to put it back in the bag intending to give it to my brother to return it to him. My grandma (his mom) noticed and came over and started screaming at me. My 3 year old niece was inbetween us. That started a huuuuuuuge fight in which my aunt on that side and that grandma were screaming at us (pretty much saying they hope I lose the baby and that my sister and mom die in a plane crash). So naturally I cut all of them out of my daughter's life..

This past December, christmas time, we were at my fiance's dad's house (about 4 hours from home). We asked him numerous times weeks before we came if he could put his big dogs away cuz my daughter was only 3 months old and the dogs are rowdy. He had no problem with it. When we got there, we sent my fiance's brother in to tell them we were there and warn them to put the dogs away. They refused to. We got into the house and the dogs were jumping at the carseat.. nearly knocking me to the ground. We quickly got our daughter into the room we were supposed to stay in.. and we refused to come out.

My fiance decided to go reason with them.. so they could see our side of it as to why we dont want the dogs near her. His dad started in about the dogs and how we dont trust him, and how it was unfair he couldnt smoke around our daughter (bullshit!!). His wife decided to chime in about how unfair we were being.. and calling me a bad mom (I was not in the room, but apparently im a bad mom and dont care about my child cuz I smoked when I was pregnant) *I didnt eat for the entire time I was pregnant cuz I kept throwing up.. so it was too hard to quit.. so I cut down marjorly*. So anyways, my fiance came back.. just mad. We scooped our daughter up and started to leave at 8pm-ish and his dad's wife started screaming in front of my daughter about how we should just get out cuz they dont even want us there.  We accidently left her formula.. cuz we were in such a hurry.. so I decided for him to tell his dad we would drop it for the night (after we turned around and came back) so we didnt have to travel in the dark with a baby. So we did....

His dad has been calling every week now.. trying to get us to send new pictures and come see them. I dont ever want to go back there and end up in the same situation. I also do not want his wife to ever see my daughter again. Its not right to yell in front of a child. Honestly, sometimes I feel bad but I do feel like I'm making sure my daughter is okay.. and that everyone loves her who is in her life. Do you think Im being to harsh by my actions? I dont smoke around my child so I feel like nobody else should.
by on Mar. 19, 2007 at 2:57 PM
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Replies (1-5):
2kiddos0305
by on Mar. 19, 2007 at 3:04 PM
No I don't think you were over reacting. I am very protective of my kids and we do the best we can as moms. Sometimes others don't see our reasoning for why we do what we do..but last I checked my kids bodies didn't come out of them....I have the stretch marks to prove it! lol!
acoster
by on Mar. 19, 2007 at 3:16 PM
No I dont think you were overreacting cause she is your baby.  I have the same problem with people wanting me to leave my baby with them and I am not ready for her to be left places yet she is only 3 months old.  People say that it is bad for her to be with me all the time and it kinda make me feel mad/bad when they say stuffbut I am the mom not them.  If you feel she shouldnt be around smoking then thats your choice even if you do smoke.  My husband smokes but we dont want our daughter around it because it can cause health problems.  It is all up to you.  I hope that you can get it all settled.

Angel
mommykmk
by on Mar. 19, 2007 at 3:26 PM
I don't think your overreacting, I think they should have respected your wishes about not having the dogs around the baby and not smoking around the baby. My boyfriend and I both smoke but never around our daughter. We live with his parents and they have a dog that they have kept in the backyard since she was born, it's a good thing they did because we just recently found out that she is allergic to dogs and cats. Stick to your guns, don't ever second guess your decisions because of someone else, my mother used to babysit my daughter and when we found out she was allergic to cats we found another family member to babysit, she was mad but eventually got over it and realized we were doing what is best. 
meme1013
by on Mar. 19, 2007 at 3:30 PM
not an overreaction at all. it you daughter what you say goes and if they really wanted to see the baby they'd understand it's on your terms not there's...and if they wont go for it...it's they're own fault. Your the mom not them.
ThaCrazyOne
by on Mar. 19, 2007 at 3:30 PM
No you were not over-reacting. It is your child and you know what's best. I'd keep my child away from these people because they apparently don't care about anybody but themselves.
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