3 yr old question

[threeangels08]

I have a 3 yr old little girl who is just full of energy.She really is a sweetheart but she's really rough.  My real problem with her is that she hits, slaps, scratches, pinches and everything else to her sister. My oldest is 6. She cries everytime it happens to get her in trouble. Which I imagine it does hurt, but Ive been trying to teach her not to take it from her but to get in face and tell her that she's not going to do that to her and that it hurts her. So far it hasn't been working. Ive tried talking to her alot about it, putting her in timeout, and Ive given tickets for good behavior and make them bring me a ticket for bad behavior. She runs outta tickets by the end of the day and really could care less and when she gets on the wall she tells me I'm ready to listen. She doesn't understand it's not about not listening it's about Not hitting. I don't know what else to do here. Im tired of getting on to her constantly. Does anyone have any suggestions or been in this situation????????

[Jodee]

I wish I had advice. Logan is only 17 months and is going thru a hitting stage now too. We hold his hands and tell him please do not hit us. I wish i knew an easy way to solve it....i don't understand where they learn to hit if they have never been hit.

[Xakana]

Quoting Jodee:

i don't understand where they learn to hit if they have never been hit.

It's a biological drive. Hitting releases adrenaline and endorphins, which makes it feel good. This is the reward for that first accidental hit they may do out of frustration or just in general accident. Pinching can feel good in a tactile way.

Try redirecting the behaviors into more acceptable forms, maybe? For pinching, offer a stress ball to pinch, maybe? It should have the same satisfying sensation. For hitting, try redirecting to clapping and stomping, which can release the endorphins the same way. For scratching, offer something more appropriate.

I tell Lilly to pinch herself when she starts pinching... and she does... and she thinks it's hilarious. Unfortunately, I'm not sure how THAT's going to last when she LIKES being pinched, lol!

I'm not sure if it will be helpful, but a lot of people have recommended the book "Siblings without Rivalry" to me and other moms with more than one kid for good advice.

Also, make certain the older child isn't instigating the attacks (my nieces does silent things to set off her little sister, deliberately, so she can't be caught--although I did catch her doing it, just to get her sister in trouble, just for example).

You can also try this site for some good tips:
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/t060100.asp