As some of you know I used to spank. I thought it was the right thing to do. I hated it and always felt like it was wrong somehow. Then my son started to show aggressive behavior and when one day I told him not to hit he said, "Well Mommy, you hit me." That's what stopped me.
The thing that gets me is that he hits his sister. It used to be just once in a while but now it's all the time. He is 7 and she is 3. He hits her sometimes hard enough that he leaves bruises. He does it whenever she does something he doesn't like or doesn't do something he wants her to do. Standing infront of the TV? He hits her. Not wanting to play with him? He hits her.
It's not just hitting. He also puts her in time out, sends her to her room, and takes toys away. I think he's trying to dicipline her. I think it's because his dad is away so much and he's trying to take on the roll of Daddy for my daughter. He doesn't hit anyone else, not even other kids. Just my daughter. Though he does yell at me if he thinks I'm not doing something right (my daughter needs to be changed, I'm 5 min. late with lunch, etc).
He seems to think he's a little diciplinarian. He doesn't get it from my husband. He gets it from me. I'm always the one who has to dicipline (my husband is away A LOT because of the military and this past year he's been home maybe a total of 3 weeks...it'll be different in October when he'll be home for 3 years). As I said, I used to spank. Though it was always a last resort. I don't do it anymore but I still do time outs, send him to his room, take toys away, etc. I also talk to him and explain to him why his action was wrong and what would've been a better thing to do.
I've tried everything to get him to stop. I've tried everything. He always promises he will never do it again and then 5 min later I hear or see him hitting his sister.
I'm afriad that if this continues he might seriously hurt her! I'm also afraid that if this continues he'll grow up to be an abusive boyfriend/husband. I need to nip this in the butt now.
Please, any advice would be most welcome! Maybe you all could tell me something that I haven't thought of yet. I've tried talking to him, taking things away, etc. I just don't know what else to do! I feel so horrible and blame myself.
*hugs*
Jess
The thing that gets me is that he hits his sister. It used to be just once in a while but now it's all the time. He is 7 and she is 3. He hits her sometimes hard enough that he leaves bruises. He does it whenever she does something he doesn't like or doesn't do something he wants her to do. Standing infront of the TV? He hits her. Not wanting to play with him? He hits her.
It's not just hitting. He also puts her in time out, sends her to her room, and takes toys away. I think he's trying to dicipline her. I think it's because his dad is away so much and he's trying to take on the roll of Daddy for my daughter. He doesn't hit anyone else, not even other kids. Just my daughter. Though he does yell at me if he thinks I'm not doing something right (my daughter needs to be changed, I'm 5 min. late with lunch, etc).
He seems to think he's a little diciplinarian. He doesn't get it from my husband. He gets it from me. I'm always the one who has to dicipline (my husband is away A LOT because of the military and this past year he's been home maybe a total of 3 weeks...it'll be different in October when he'll be home for 3 years). As I said, I used to spank. Though it was always a last resort. I don't do it anymore but I still do time outs, send him to his room, take toys away, etc. I also talk to him and explain to him why his action was wrong and what would've been a better thing to do.
I've tried everything to get him to stop. I've tried everything. He always promises he will never do it again and then 5 min later I hear or see him hitting his sister.
I'm afriad that if this continues he might seriously hurt her! I'm also afraid that if this continues he'll grow up to be an abusive boyfriend/husband. I need to nip this in the butt now.
Please, any advice would be most welcome! Maybe you all could tell me something that I haven't thought of yet. I've tried talking to him, taking things away, etc. I just don't know what else to do! I feel so horrible and blame myself.
*hugs*
Jess
Posted by
on Jul. 10, 2008 at 8:09 AM
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by
Group Owner
on Jul. 10, 2008 at 8:42 PM
I really wish I had some advise for you, I will try to look in some of my books and see if there are any new answers that may help...I just wanted you to know i was thinking about you and i will keep you and your family in my prayers.
by
Group Admin
on Jul. 12, 2008 at 3:43 PM
Guilt him. That's how I have to handle Brandon sometimes. I feel terrible, but it works. Get down to his level first. Then ask him "Do you love your sister?" Hopefully he'll be in the right mood to say yes, LOL! Follow up with " It hurts her when you hit her, and it scares her. Do you want her to be hurt and scared of you? She loves you so much and I don't want her to be afraid of you. You are a sweet boy, you need to teach her to be nice too. " If he wants to "help" with the discipline, show him the right way to do it...then praise the heck out of him!
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Really??? I mean are you stinkin' kidding me??? A post I read that REALLY got my blood boiling
- amethystrse
on Jul. 10, 2008 at 8:09 AM