I get so mad at posts like these

[Aeris07]

So in my birth month group, an interesting post came up. It was a poll to see who spanked their child. I opened it up and read a few posts and got really angry. I was thinking about replying, but I convinced myself to not do it now because I was too angry and it may start a fight. So I get back on today and I find even more ridiculous posts. There were, of course, the 'I turned out fine' posts. The 'I only do it in extreme situations' posts. But there was a post where a woman claimed that what's wrong with most children is that we don't spank them.

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I think a lot of the problems with today's children is they weren't spanked or disciplined. So many families want to be there child's "friend" these days. Like its such a horriable thing to have your child not like you for 15 Min's. We are parents we are suppose to discipline and guide our children. I was raised in a spanking family and I turned out just fine. Now there is a fine line between discipline spanking and abuse spanking. I think if a child is told no and then repeats it and then u do time out and still does it then its wasnt for a spanking. I do spank my child He is a red head and has a very stubborn temper but I don't spank at every little thing as I don't want him to think hitting is ok. He only gets spanked when he is doing something dangerous or after I have repeated no several times and its not getting through. I think i have only spanked him a handful of times, but I'm sure as he gets older time outs will turn into groundings lol and spankings will be in the past.. lol.. hopefully lol

Everything this woman is saying is ridiculous. First, I never want my child to not like me, but that doesn't mean I'm going to give into everything she wants, and that doesn't mean I need to hit her. I feel that as a parent you have to stay in constant control of the situation, and hitting makes that impossible. So when you hit, you in turn are no longer the parent and adult. Of course she is 'fine'. She is so 'fine' after being raised in this environment that she now spanks her own child. There is no line between hitting, slapping, or tapping and abuse. What does a red head have to do with anything.

I just want to shout at these parents, MAYBE IF YOU DIDN'T HIT YOUR KIDS THEY WOULDN'T BE SO ANGRY AND VIOLENT TOWARDS YOU. I understand, though, that some children are just more angry than others and not as well behaved, no matter what you do, but hitting them will not make them less angry or violent.

Here are a few other gems.

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I think that there are times when kids need a spanking. I have a few friends and their kids are very rough and hurt other kids. 

Haha, gee I wonder why.

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We aren't spankers, but we will give her hand a tap if she is getting into something dangerous that she was told to stay away from.

'Don't get into that, it will hurt you' *Smack* Makes no sense to me.

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People who have compliant easy temperament children really have noidea what it's like to raise a feisty passionate strong-willed child. The day in and day out battle of the wills. And for the mom's who say they won't ever spank, I'd love to hear their answer on this when thier sweet LO's turn into a smack talking defiant sassing monster that challanges them on every last little thing, and won't cooperate with you just to get your goat EVERY SINGLE day all day long.

Excuses, excuses. My daughter is a pretty big handful at this age, but I manage.

There were some good ones, someone said that it was lazy parenting and that really got them going. In the end, I replied, and it will probably get me in trouble with the group owner or get the post locked, but oh well I can't sit by while someone justifies hitting their child. I also said that if I saw someone hitting their child in public, I would follow them to the car, take down their license plate, and report them to the police. Even if it's not illegal.

[Jodee]

I try like you did to not reply to the posts on spanking because usually there are only a few non spanker's that reply to them and we all seem to get attacked by the spanker's......the last one i responded to there was a poll and about 90% spank (if not more), it makes me sick....but you cant help them to understand why spanking is bad usually they are very defensive and get even more angry at non spanker's and blame the crime in the world today on us.....go figure we don't believe in violence but we are the ones that cause it
It is all ridiculous

[audiesmomma]

So many people see spanking and discipline as the same thing.

[Xakana]

If the problems today are that not enough kids are getting spanked, why is it that 99% of those in prison were spanked and 100% of violent offenders were? That 1% that wasn't is probably in the small percent that was falsely accused.

To me, that says that spanking IS the problem. It didn't deter their behavior and no child raised WITHOUT spanking has been convicted as a violent offender. Hmm... Sure, not all kids who are spanked are criminals. Obviously. That would mean about 80%-90% of the country were criminals. But all criminals were spanked. They didn't learn anything from it, clearly.

A study done in Texas back in the 90s found that in children under 5 who were spanked, 95% showed clear anti-social behaviors (lying, stealing, hitting, etc.) whereas in children who weren't, only 70% showed the same behaviors (my percentages may be off, it's been like 7 years since I read the book with this study in it, but I'm pretty positive on the spanked percentage).

Beyond that, every study that's been done shows that spanking does nothing but damage children. Not a single legitimate study has EVER proven it 'harmless'.

[lilrie1980]

Wow!  I joined this group almost just b/c of this post.  My DD has just turned 12 months old and I watch Nanny 911 and Super Nanny.  And I just think, what am I going to do once my lil one gets older.  Right now it's almost too easy.  I tell her "NO" when I don't want her to mess with something.  Sometimes she tests me and I have to say "NO" after the second time, I just pick her up and distract her elsewhere.  She'll fuss for a minute, but that's usally it.  And I choose my battles.  I let her pull all her books all over the floor, I let her play with the remotes, I let her do a lot of thing, except I say no to things that might hurt her.  Like playing with the dog food and water bowls.  i really don't want her messing with it, so when she starts heading in that direction, I start the No and try to distract her.  And honestly, she doesn't try to mess with it as much as I thought she would once she started getting around.  I try to explain to my SO that saying No too much will start to mean nothing to her.  So it's used sparingly. 

No hitting needed here.  And I was spanked on an occasion as a child.   And I just remember it didn't do much.  I remember more the look of dissappointment from my dad.  That hurt more than the spaking he gave me.  And that's what I want.  I want her to think about how she will dissappoint me rather than if I'm going to hit her.  I think the dissappointment will be more lasting than a pain on the hand or butt. 

I mean those that spank?  Why does it make sense to stop them from hurting themselves if you are just going to hurt them instead?