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ADD and relationships

Posted by on May. 4, 2007 at 2:04 PM
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Does anyone else's relationship suffer because of untreated ADD? I am not a diagnosed case, but I'm almost certain that I have it, because I forget everything, am so disorganized, spacey and kind of hyper still. I didn't realize this possibility until recently when I went on My boyfriend gets so mad at me when I do something stupid, like forget to bring the diaper bag, forget to lock the door...or that he comes home and I haven't started dinner because I'm distracted. I also stay up really late every night and this makes him real irritated. He's a huge clean freak and perfectionist, (this is good for me!!) but I worry he's going to get fed up with me and my airheadedness and leave me..

I'm also curious about meds because I'm terrified of stimulants (my boyfriend has a history with narcotics) and I am scared to put something like that in my body. Plus, meds that cause potential drowsiness like Strattera will just make me even more of a loopy space cadet. I can't even take Benedryl because it knocks me out! I'm breastfeeding, so I try to treat the ADD homeopathically, but I only drink green tea. It works for me for a minute, and then I'm back to being a ditz again. Help!!
by on May. 4, 2007 at 2:04 PM
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by on May. 4, 2007 at 3:14 PM
i'd like to see the same thing because i have a TERRIBLE time with relationships. i cant even get one off the ground. i dont know if its my trust issues or adhd but i think its a combo of both.
by Member on May. 5, 2007 at 2:09 PM
i havebeen with my boyfriend for almost 8 years now and was diagnosed with adhd/add ( i can never member which one, but i take adderal xr 30 mg) three years ago. we hve been thru a lot of things together but he has always stuck with me and would go to all my dr appts. to help me to find out what was wrong with me. i was first diagnosed as depressed and given prozac and welbutrin, but i was getting terrible migranes ( i think it was from those). my oldest daughter also has adhd and we were referred to a psychitrist (sp) and thru speaking with her she decieded to test me as well. she thought my dd and i just had too much in common. so i found out that i wasnt depressed and it has made our relation ship stronger.
by Member on May. 7, 2007 at 5:31 PM

I think I have the same thing,too.  Will find out tomorrow after my appt.....
by Group Owner on May. 8, 2007 at 12:19 PM
I'm afraid that having this is interfering in my relationships too.  I have been divorced for 8 years and I cant seem to keep someone around.  My six year old son keeps saying "mom you lose all your boyfriends all the time"
by New Member on May. 8, 2007 at 3:47 PM
I think that you should go to the Dr. But make sure that you find the right one. When I brought it up to the Dr. that I used to go to he said " I don't believe in all of that shit!" ( his exact words!)
I went online and found a site that lists all of the dr.s who treat ADD in your area. I found a wonderful Dr.

I also have serious problems with relationships. I have lost many friends and even family members. My husband is very supportive, but sometimes he gets very frustrated with me. People think that I am selfish and don't care. I never send out thank you cards, ( I always buy them but end up procrastinating too long) I never send out cards fro holidays

There are alternatives to meds. I have my own group and I am trying to use daily checklists as a coaching tool. Nobody is really participating but I am using it and it is helping me a lot! My daughter is supposed to waer a patch over her eye for 4 hours a day. I have always forgot to do this for years. SInce I have been doing the daily checklist, She has been wearing it every day!  I am not currently taking anything for ADD now, but I am excercising and eating very healthy, and I am doing very well. I am getting things done!  
by on May. 18, 2007 at 3:37 AM
people think im selfish and dont care too! i think i dont express myself well.

for example, i had plans with a friend last saturday evening and she flaked on me. i texted another friend and told her what happened. she said she would call me when she got home. i sat for half an hour and got tired. so when she called i said i wanted to stay home. i hear a few days later that i hurt her feelings and that i only call people when i have nothing better to do. that certainly wasnt my intent!
by New Member on May. 22, 2007 at 11:48 PM
I would say that a good number of people would be put off by ADD behavior.  I have found that I concentrate on the people who don't care that you never call or forget an appointment or other time you had planned to spend with them.  I don't fixate on people who are offended by my lack of reciprocation, but spend my time with those who like my company dispite my deficits.  I recently sent a "get to know you" email to several people.  I was amazed at the number of people that returned them  saying that I was one of their longest friends.

It is not because I do much of the initiation, it is because they see past my failures and celebrate who I am.  I have laughingly told people that my good friends decided to be my friend, not the other way around.  I don't know why I do have the friends that I do because I don't treat them the way I should and they just understand that I am different.  Sometimes, I need to be reminded about things and if they tell me way in advance, they make sure I put it in my planner.  It's funny that they adapt to me and don't get worried about it.   A true friend accepts who you are not what you are, they see beyond those issues and go deeper.

by Group Owner on May. 28, 2007 at 10:16 PM
My friends are always reminding me of things.  Sometimes it helps, sometimes it dont

just remembered I need to mow the lawn but my lawnmower is broke!!!  :-(   yes, i know, that is a little off the subject.
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