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Hello!  I'm hoping to reach moms who are interested in protecting their children from sexual predators & moms whose children have already been violated.  Let this group be a source of strength and support for each other so we are all more educated in how to protect children.


Claire

by on Nov. 10, 2007 at 11:52 PM
Replies (31-39):
shannonmarie759
by on Dec. 17, 2008 at 9:34 PM

HELLO IM SHANNON I AM A SURVIVOR I HAVE 2  LITTLE GIRLS AS WELL. I KNOW THIS GROUP WILL HELP ME AND HELP ME PROTECT THEM. THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME JOIN SHANNON

teresa865
by New Member on Dec. 18, 2008 at 2:58 PM

Hi I'm new today. I have both kinds of child in my home. My nephew who is 8 was placed with me,due to his mom didn't protect him from perp. and let him do on to others that was done to him. I have two other child who now I have to protect from being abused, with him in house. I'm torn being that I was abused by an cousin who lived with us. We are in therapy and all the rules to make all save. Alarms on doors. No playing in rooms w/o adult. Any ideas on what more I can do???

Teresa

Lori1208
by on Feb. 8, 2009 at 1:30 PM

Kelli-

My name is Lori. We have a beautiful son whose 4.  On December 8th my son informed me that someone "put a glove in his butt."  I immediately contacted Child Protective Services, my Pediatrician and the Police.  The Police accidentally misclassified my sons statement since he could not name a suspect.

Through the help of friends, another Detective contacted me.  I explained to him the situation.  He immediately scheduled for a forensic interview to take place in 2 days, December 30th.  My son was questioned by a forensic psychiatrist.  This interview was videoed and viewed simultaneously by the Detective.

My son still could not name the source, but as the Forensic Psychiatrist told me there were too many red flags to ignore.  They scheduled my son for free counseling.  They ask that I not speak to him to confuse him any further since they were starting an investigation.

We waited one month for an opening to become available for counselling.  I asked my son open ended questions.  I explained how I believed in him.  I encouraged him and reaffirmed him as our son, a child of God and for his intellect and brillance.  I thanked him every time for trusting Mommy with this information and that I loved him.

I also had to remind him that it wasn't his fault.

We started the counseling the last week of January.  This counselor encouraged me to help my son work through it with conversation.  If they never talk about it they will ALWAYS react, lashing out, to deal with it.  This is by no means easy to do, but I know it needs to be done.

My son and I were packing to go to a friends house.  I was leaving for a business trip.  While packing I began asking my son questions.  I explained that I needed to know if he was safe.  If this was someone he saw at school.  That if this person was there I needed to know for his safety.

To make a long story short, he expressed the whole act, which goes beyond the "glove" issue.  He told me exactly who did it.  I knew instantly when it was by whom he had divulged.  I KNEW THAT NIGHT THAT SHE WATCHED HIM, WHEN HE HAD A NIGHT TERROR, SOMETHING HAPPENED, BUT DISMISSED IT FROM MY MIND!

Your child has a voice.  You child has a clear, untainted perspective.  Your child is the perfect candidate to nail the person whom felt it ok to violate your trust and your child's body.

If this is never discussed and handled it will fester in you, your family and your child's little mind like cancer.  FIGHT FOR YOUR CHILD'S RIGHTS TO BE HEALTHY!  Never let anyone tell you your child is too young.  I met a couple whose daughter was assaulted and never spoke until she assaulted another child.  From what I read this is how most are discovered since only a small percentage tell.

I do not know what faith affiliation you live by.  We are Christians.  This is a war for your child.  Please pray...  and pray hard.  I refuse to give the enemy domain over my family.  As in every other crisis our family has faced we seek the Lord for strength and spiritual renewal.

Let me rephrase this...  I pray.  I am not sure what my husband does.  I have tons of women praying for our family, my son, the truth and the decisions we face.  This is a battle for my son's life, his future.  The statistics are wretched and horrible.  My son will not be a statistic.  He will be a survivor not a victim!!!!

The hard part is that not only do they have to confess it to a Detective, but they have to tell the State Attorney.  When my son met with the Detective again, he freaked out when the location of the assault was brought up.  He could not speak the words, but his reaction was enough for the Detective to be questioning the school, the teacher and her friend.

My son was assaulted when we hired one of the teachers at his Lutheran school to babysit our son and his best friend.

They believe our family.  The counselor provided to us by the Police is amazing.  She firmly feels he will tell them and encouraged me to let him talk about it interactively with me.  She and the Detective gave me ways to ask questions with options to help him.

All the professionals we are working with, believe he will forget all of this since we are working through this now.

It is insane to think a professional told you your child was too young.  I implore you to contact the police and seek all professional help your county provides.  I believe help is there for you and your family.  My prayers go out to you and your family.

We waited for our counselor because she works directly with the police.  I did not want to start with one counselor, he begin to trust her and then have to start over with another.  The likeliness of the the second relationship being established is very slim.

Remember the enemy came to seek, kill and destroy.  Do not give power to him.  Our God is greater.  I do not know why we have to go through this, especially to the extent that so many families face.  I only know that He did not give us a spirit of timidty and fear; but one of power, love and self discipline.  I never truly grasped the significance of this scripture until now.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

hurtmommy
by on Sep. 5, 2009 at 12:33 PM

Thank you for this outlet.  I am so hurt. My nine year old son and his friend abused my six year old baby girl. As soon as I found out. I immediately sent my son away. I don't know why this happened. I feel like I failed both my babies. I can't function. I dont want to work, havent been to work since the incident. I am constantly crying. My little princess was doing fine until the other little boy went to school and told other children she had been raped by my son.  the school is now involved and she will be starting counseling this comming week. My son is more than 800 miles away and will be starting counseling in the comming week as well. I took her to the doctor and there was no evidence of any trama or penetration in that area. My daughter tells me that they took her pants down and theirs and got on her from the back. I need help. I feel helpless. I feel like dying because i feel as if I failed to protect my daughter from my son. I never saw the signs that something was wrong. They got along like any other siblings (I thought). We were always together. They stayed involved in activities and had good social lives with other children.They have always been close. They play together, watch tv, talk, everything. Of course they argued and fought but nothing out of the ordinary. I don't understand what I missed.

caffeinatedmom2
by New Member on Aug. 19, 2010 at 12:57 AM

as a mother of a child who was abused by another child  three years ago, I stil am haunted with fears, we are still going through courts, and I am overwheled by guilt. I am scared that my child will never realize that I have fought this hard for him/her. I just don't know if I can do this much longer.

I have contacted our senators, the gov.....nothing is being done via the state. I am still so mad that I break down and cry.  Am I crazy? Why can't 'I' get over it? It feels like everyone else has.

caffeinatedmom2
by New Member on Aug. 19, 2010 at 12:59 AM

I worry that your son may have been abused.  Did he ever say what he did? Did he admit it? I can't get over my guilt either. But .....thankfully there is something like this.

Yes, this is a very long time to reply...but if you are anything like me, you still feel the burden.

ClaireSilva
by Group Owner on Aug. 20, 2010 at 12:02 PM

Hello!  I completely understand!  Yes - you will heal and life will go back to normal - but it is hard if you are still dealing w/ courts.  I think once we moved passed any legal stuff - that is when we had some normalcy...  As a parent - we can easily feel guilty for the rest of our lives...  But our society doesn't educate us on what to look out for, so how can we blame ourselves.  Hand guilt over to the perpetrators. 

~Claire

 Author of   A Child's Heart Speaks: Surviving Sexual Abuse

MommyOfCDLY
by on Aug. 26, 2010 at 2:47 PM

Hi my name is Janis. My  now 5 year old son was sexually abused by my brother, who was 17 at the time.  My brother is now in prison and we are dealing with the after effects. Unfortunately putting him in prison didn't fix all the damage he caused.

member0809
by New Member on Aug. 12, 2011 at 12:50 AM

Thanks for starting this group! My daughter has been abused and I need to ensure that she is never victimized again.

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