Welcome to all moms!

Replies:

• 
• by
  • Ang07
  on Dec. 23, 2007 at 10:35 PM
• 
  

  Quoting ClaireSilva:
  
  Hi Angie!  I'm happy you posted your story!  How old are your girls now?  Now that they have disclosed and it was a couple of years ago, do they talk openly about what happened to them?
  
  Claire

  
  Hi Claire. My girls are now 14 and 15 it will be two years since I found out on 1/28/08. So it hasn't been two years yet but close enough. We don't openly talk about what happened, we did when this first came out but after a while we have just left it alone. I guess mainly because I want them to go back to some sort of normalcy.  If that is even possible. I will post more about there story later, it's a long one. But I'm happy to say that justice even though not what I see as enough has been served non the less. The piece of crap didn't get away with it like he thought he was going to.

   

  

• 
• by
  • ClaireSilva
  on Dec. 24, 2007 at 10:30 PM
• Hi Angie!  I'm sure your story will give strength to other moms who are battling similar court situations.  Any advice you have for juggling the legal system is completely welcome!
  
  Claire

• 
• by
  • Ang07
  on Dec. 30, 2007 at 4:56 AM
• 
  

  Quoting ClaireSilva:
  
  Hi Angie!  I'm sure your story will give strength to other moms who are battling similar court situations.  Any advice you have for juggling the legal system is completely welcome!
  
  Claire

  If anyone has any questions I would be happy to answer them the best I can if I can. All states are different but I can help with advice on what the next step should be things like that. It was a long hard battle and very frustrating most of the time but you have to keep strong and not fall apart while your going through the motions.

• 
• by
  • stacypear
  on Feb. 1, 2008 at 1:00 AM
• Where do you begin? I want to thank you for the website and I am anxious to read your book. My 6 year old son was sexually abused when he was five (disclosed to me 2/4/07) by my ex husband's, girlfriend's 15 year old son. My sweet little boy became angry, aggressive and no longer wanted to snuggle with me. My sixth sense was SCREAMING when my son came home after his weekend with his dad and he told me he was sharing a bedroom with a 15 year old that my ex had only known for a few months! Yes-the abuse had already started by then. Now, he had easy access to my son. When my son finally told me about the "secret" that they had, I felt our world crumble. The 15year old was charged, but on a much smaller scale than he was originally charged with. My ex never came to any of the hearings, trial or sentencing. He never called to see how his son or 2 daughters were doing. Never asked how therapy was going. He blamed my son's aggressiveness on the sport Wrestling!! Child protection FAILED me terribly! They investigated me as if I was a criminal. Questioned me and all my kids, phone calls, etc. BUT, when they weren't able to reach my ex to meet with him...they gave up and closed the case stating that the abuse happened (DUH) but their services weren't needed!!! HOW WOULD THEY KNOW???? My oldest daughter has told me about the pornographic magazines in the house. My son and youngest daughter have told me about pornographic pictures they have "accidentally" viewed on the computer at his house. AND this is the home of a "rehabbing-sex offender!"  Now, I am battling the system to get an order to keep my son away from his offender. His probation is over April 2008. I am falling into debt over this, but I don't care! My ex moved and has my son's bedroom across the hall from the "sex offender's" bedroom and a floor all by themselves and all he can focus on is when the "family" can all be together again! His girlfriend is still married!!! And they have only been together for a little over a year!! Can someone define "family?" I am so confused!! If I can ever help someone else not ever have to suffer through this as a mother...AND keep ANY child from EVER being abused in ANY way...I would do WHATEVER it takes!!!!

  The way I feel most days...                     Stacy

• 
• by
  • ClaireSilva
  on Feb. 2, 2008 at 10:28 PM
• Hi Stacy!  Obviously - your son is not in a safe situation.  You can easily go broke trusting lawyers to fight for you.  Dont forget - you have Senators and Congressmen & women to work on your behalf.  You also have a Governor.  Take notes on everything - dates, who you speak with, what they say and where they work... 
  
  How I stopped some of the insanity - (my stepson who is the perp - from being able to bounce around from shelter to shelter without going to court & getting sentenced) - was writing down the insanity and sending it to the Governor.  1 page is all you ever want to write...  short and sweet - but detailed so any official would be embarassed....  The worst thing for a politician is to have someone go public with the dysfunction that has been allowed under their watch...
  
  Until then - Teach your son to defend himself.  He is allowed to bite, kick, scream - anything he needs to do if the perp goes in his bedroom!!!
  
  Claire

• 
• by
  • stacypear
  on Feb. 6, 2008 at 11:35 AM
• Thank you for the advice! I have sent out letters as you advised and I am hoping to make a change!
  THANK YOU
  Stacy
  
  (I ordered your book and can't wait to dig in!!)

• 
• by
  • ClaireSilva
  on Feb. 6, 2008 at 11:05 PM
• Hi Stacy!  Thanks for the purchase - I sent the book out today.  Glad to hear you wrote some letters.  Just keep taking notes & sooner or later, you'll have enough stuff that embarasses the "system" and they quickly help you when they know you can go public...  We were severely mistreated, but I learned how to fight back...
  
  Claire

• 
• by
  • NCLioness
  on Oct. 8, 2008 at 3:18 AM

• In your response to another group's post, you mentioned a list of things to look for in a possible abuser/molester and signs of a child who may have been molested/ebused.  Could you please send me that list?

  Thank you and thanks for having this group. Bless you.
  

  
  

  NCLioness, mom of 17 year old boy/girl twins

• 
• by
  • Naners59
  on Oct. 26, 2008 at 1:11 AM

• Hello I was wondering if there was a list to look at about signs of adults that have been sexually abused.  Like what are some of the mannerisms and such. 

  Thank you

• 
• by
  • ClaireSilva
  on Oct. 28, 2008 at 8:02 AM

• Hello!  From the survivors I've spoken with - there would be such a range of signs - it would be hard to list anything...  I think SIA might have a listing of signs  (survivors of incest anonymous).  They run meetings throughout the country and usually have literature at the meetings.

  ~ Claire

Only CafeMom members can reply to this post.

Join Group