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In my neighborhood

Posted by on Aug. 20, 2008 at 11:32 AM
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We have just learned that a new neighbor (3 doors down) has a teen who is a sex offender.  The offense occured in another state just over a year ago, so this just showed up on our sex offender registry.  The offender is a juvenile but was charged with CSC 2nd degree with a 4 year old girl.  I have daughters and, obviously, am very concerned.  I wish I knew more (although as I said to a friend, what could I possibly hear that happened with a 4 year old that makes this any better??)

Obviously, we are keeping a close eye on this situation.  Our children do not play unsupervised outside ever (never have).  They will not be allowed to go to (or frankly, near) that house.  We will up and revisit the "bad touch" talk and "we don't keep secrets" talk. 

Without terrifying our oldest (who has an anxiety disorder and would not sleep for a month if we told her that someone who has hurt a child lives there) what more can we do?

Thanks for any help.

by on Aug. 20, 2008 at 11:32 AM
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Replies (1-4):
Angela072370
by New Member on Aug. 21, 2008 at 7:15 PM
Tell them of course of good touch and bad touch. That certain things only adults do. To always know they can tell you anything. That nothing in that manner would ever be their fault. My children were sexually molested by my ex husband. As for you... don't trust anyone!
ClaireSilva
by Group Owner on Aug. 21, 2008 at 10:22 PM

Hello!  Self Defense!!!  Karate is OK - but sometimes the belts & breaking boards is a little too much show.  Ask around for classes that truly teach self defense for your kids.  I would be very frank that there is someone in the neighborhood and you want your children to know how to defend themselves.  Teach your children that it is OK to hit, punch, bite - anyone who is forcing them into a room or place that they don't want to be...  or anyone who tries to touch them...

It is also good to get in the habit of asking your kids questions...  what are they afraid of? If your child is afraid of spiders - ask if anyone talks about spiders a lot with them... 

Ask if anyone has given them any gifts?  or shared a secret...  do they know the difference between a good secret or a bad secret?  Do they understand what a yucky feeling is (their instincts kicking in that someone is not a safe person) & how to trust those gut reactions....

Those types of conversations will help you figure out who around your children may be a potential perpetrator. 

I'm shocked that your state actually lets people know about juvenile perps - I've never heard about that!  In RI - juvenile perps are allowed to live like everyone else - and get tons of benefits - free college, free housing and clean criminal backgrounds. 

Good to hear you are talking with your neighbors - the more eyes watching out for all the kids - the better!

Claire

tootsiemom
by on Sep. 11, 2008 at 12:02 PM

Do you know how old the "teen" is..? and this happened with a 4 yr old?  Remember that obviously someone did or is doing abuse to that teen as well,  I AM NOT justifying there actions but I wouldnt go Picketing the neighboor hood wthout more information.

My daughter was abused by her cousin when he was10 and she was 5, since that we have now found out that even with therapy she went thru...she has been abusing my youngest son. Who inturn acted out with some nieghbor boys. One mother understood, the other called anyone and everyone to tell that my son touched hers and that he was a sexual preditor (at age 7) and tried to get him prosecuted as a SEX OFFENDER in the state!   Called the schools, our nieghboor hood association.etc..

And yes we had already had several No touch and NO secret conversations with him..weekly, daily...

So all Im saying is that YES there are the SCARY predators out there but sometimes there could be a bigger picture when it has to do with young children. 

Im not here to Judge anyone either...just thought this was a good post to share some of my story. Thanks for understanding.

jennalynnB
by on Sep. 23, 2008 at 3:44 PM

I am the mother of two boys that very recently found out that they were sexually molested by another neighbor child.  My boys are 8 & 9 and this other kid is 13.  I'm already involved with a police investigation.  I had the good touch bad touch talk with my kids, but never imagined that another child would do this.  I fully intend on seeing to it that this "child" is prosacuted to the fullest extent of the law.   

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