Welcome and PLEASE, Introduce yourselves. I'd like to get to know you all.

Hello my name is Brittany.  I don't have anything to hide, I am a very open person about every aspect in my life.  I am a single mother to a wonderful 9 yr old boy.  He has changed my life for the better.  His father was very abusive to me.  He had a severe drug problem of course.  I left him when I was about 8 month pregnant.  I caught him using in my bathroom before work one morning.  That was it for me.  He hung around until our son was born.  I started seeing somone else and he just wouldnt have it.  He did everything possible to make me miserable.  When my son was about 8-10 months old he showed up one day to pick him up for a couple hours.  He of course brought his little girlfriend, whatever it kept him out of my hair.  Until she decided to take my son and put him in her lap in the front seat because his cheap ass didn't want to buy a car seat.  To make a long story short, he didn't like the choice words that I used with his little love puff and it turned into a knock down drag out brawl between him and I in the middle of the street.  He tried to take my baby in a car with no car seat.  Thats enough to make a mom go irrate! So after my enitre apartment complex watched him literally beat the daylights out of me, inclulding running my foot over with his car, we got arrested.  The district attorneys office pressed charges against me for defending myself because I was the first one to make physical contact with him.  It was a long hard road dealing with all of the fines, court dates, probabtion...... and the list goes on.  That was just the beginning of my abusive relationships, except I never faught back again.  I wasn't about to go throug that again.  If you have any questions please feel free to ask.  Have a wonderful day and thank you for allowing me to share, and thank you for reading......

I am so happy to have you here and Thank you sooooo much for your courage to share.  That is terrible and it's no easy thing to fight against monsters.  Sometimes the county or state can get in our way and that is the purpose of our meetings here.  We need to do alot more.  We need to get heard.  It is hard but if we don't, who will? 

Thank you for taking the time to share and We hope to hear more from you anytime.  Feel free to post anything you'd like to share or offer or any experiences you may continue to experience.  There will be more things coming to the group in time.  Feel free to bring some things in yourself.  Even if it's friends or family currently experiencing abuse or survivors themselves.  Feel free to tell them about us and if we could be of any help, it will be our pleasure.  They are more then welcome to apply/join.  Knowledge is Power, and one more life is one more life saved. 
I speak as "we" and not just as "I", because that is what this is.  It's WE.  WE are here as a family, as a team.  WE are in this together.  NO ONE is alone. 

Thanks again for sharing. 

LET'S KEEP THESE COMING.

God Bless,

Shwy721 ( Liz )

Hi my name is Lisa I'm 39 and a mother of 5 and grandma of 1 and I am looking for a safe place to discuss my abusive relationship that I have been in for 8 yrs. I hope to meet some new friends here that can relate to the nightmare I live in every day so I hope to see all of you in the forum!

Hi, thank you for coming on board.  I asure you that you are in a great place.  I will try because I do try to keep it as safe and secure as possible. 

Nice to know you and you have a friend here in me and I'm sure you will have many more. 
I read your other post before this one, so forgive me if I wrote as if I wasn't sure if you had kids.  I already responded to the other one. 
I hope that you will not be offended here or that you will not be offended by my reply to your post.  If there is anything you'd like me to help you with, please be my guest.  It will be an honor to help you out.  As a matter of fact, I honor your courage to come in and share your story.

Talk soon,

God Bless,

Shwy721 ( Liz )

Hello My name is Meagan ... I have been in 2 abusive relatioships and was abused by my step father growing up and i got to watch him abuse my mother ... i swore on everything i wouldnt ever let a man treat me like that ... its funny wat happens when you fall in love .... on the most recent abuser ... my daughters father i started noticings "red flags" way early into the relationship ... but i didnt think he could ever do something like that to me ... hindsight is 20/20 ... i am very open about my past ... if you dont talk about it and get it out it will eat you alive ... (or it will me anyway!)we met in minnisota and i told him about the boyfriend before him and how controlling and abusive he was ... and he was sweet the first time ya know listening ... giving me a shoulder to cry on ... but then he said if i ever see him im going to kick his butt (not in those words) and then a few months later we were argueing ... i wanted to go to a friends house (which was just next door) and he didnt want me to go ... he told me i couldnt go ... i said ok ... and started walking out the door ( i am very pigheaded and refuse to be told what to do! especially after the first abuser) he grabs my arms and slings me on the bed ... and immidiately appologizes ... i took off next door ... with my first bruise from him ... my friends were naturally telling me dont go back  ... he came over to my friends house and just sat on the floor and had a good time ... i thought ok ... thats over maybe it was a fluke and he wont do it again ... the next time he put his hands on me, my daughter was 3 months old and we were living in california (his hometown) ... he called me a few choice names im not sure i can type in here! and shoved me into the counter ... 2nd bruise from him ... i slapped him across his face and took off out the door ... he followed me baby in tow all over the neighborhood ... talk to me talk to me! i told him i have nothing to say right now ... i get back ... we talk and work things out ... or so it seems ... now its going every time the seasons are changing he is changing ... he is going to bars and hanging out all hours with his friends (which he did while i was prego too) and the moment i would complain about being stuck in the house all day everyday he would call me a fat lazy cow ... and some other names i dont think i could mention ... he would pin me down until i complied with whatever he wanted ... he had to have sex everyday all day ... i was to be at his becking call ... no matter what our daughter was doing ... even at 4am if he woke up horny ... or came home horny .. .the straw that broke the camels back for me and made me leave him ... it was sept 23, 06 the day before i had let him sleep in until late in the afternoon ... i cleaned the house on the 22nd SPOTLESS! we had a really good day ... we went to sleep ... i did my other wifely duties(at 4 in the morning) so on the 23rd i was trying to sleep in (i figured i let him ... and he doesnt have to work today so maybe i can get much needed r&r it was about 8:30 am and my daughter is eating breakfast i thought ok ... i can go back to sleep he is going to watch her ... plus my back was killing me and i just wanted to sleep a couple more hours ....he calls for me to get up ... i asked him cant i sleep in today ... you slept in yesterday really late and my back hurts real bad .. he comes into the bedroom jumps on top of me and says you better be out of this bed before i get out of the bathroom ... yeah he ordered me to do something ... so what do i do ... i stay in bed! he comes out of the bathroom and pulls the sheets off of me ... pulls the sheets out from under me ... forcing me to the floor ( a place i dont want to be!) i wiggle my way back on the bed he climbs back on top of me pins me to the bed and spits in my face ... then he goes into the living room and grabs the computer tower .. he holds it over his head and says "meagan if you dont get out of this bed im going to bash this over your head" and then when i look at him like he is crazy he brings it down 2 inches before hitting me with it and stops ... i just up grab the phone and call 911 ... i made him leave and i packed up all my stuff and went to stay at the haven center i stayed at the shelter for about 2 weeks and me and my daughter were back at my hometown in nc... there is a little more to this story i took him back ...  he started showing those signs again... talk to me talk to me ... all over the house ... then he threatened my sister ... and tried to take my baby from me he ran out the door in december while it was raining ... carly had no coat no shoes ... i was barefoot myself no coat and i chased after him! he called the cops saying i was tryin to take my daughter away from him all he wants to do is get as far away from me as he can ... the police come and say we have to go to the magistrate to sort it out ... they put him in the police car give me carly and tell me to follow them ... so once we got there the magistrate said well she has beenher caregiver ... meagan has the roof over her head the food in her belly and the clothes on her back she belongs to meagan in the state of nc ... he thru a fit ... show it to me in writing!! she looked at him and said i dont have to ... this is might court room ... i am judge and jury here ... not you ... i say meagan gets her and thats that ... you may return to the house and pick up your things and leave since that is what you yourself said you wanted to do ... :o) i was soooo happy!!!! he went back to california in jan 07 ... i got to kick the new year off without him!!! since he has left he has sent carly 185 bucks ... thats it! for 11 months .. $185 ... what a great dad! anway ... thats my most recent story ... any questions feel free to ask either in this thread or you can pm me ... im an open book!!

 

 

 

you are to young to go threw stuff like that.. just know that as you go through this jerney called life there are alot of good things out there you just have to be ready for them.. because all the bad can steal it away!!!stacy

I'm very proud of you.  You did a wonderful job getting away.  I really loved the part of the magistrate.  You go girl. 

Please remember the signs and don't sell yourself short.  You are a better person than that and you are a beautiful woman with a great little girl.  Neither one of you need that kind of life.  I hope that you will find happiness forever.

Thank you so much for sharing that story.  I really appreciate it.

And let me tell you, if you can go after him for child support, that would be great.  If not...then sweetie you do what you gotta do for you and your little girl.  She does not need him.  She has a very strong mommy who loves and cares for her and God will provide everything you need to make it.  There is no better a Father then him.

God Bless and take care. 

Shwy721

My name is Sandy & I'm 7months pregnant with a baby girl Madison Rose.
She is my first, I am going to be 30 in Jan..
Trying to break the bond of co-dependency

Your story is just like mine, sort of.  I am in a relationship with a drug addict who keeps telling me he is going to quit & go to church & all that stuff.  But won't, he doesn't even have a job & I am working full-time busting my butt & I'm 7months pregnant.  I feel like he doesn't even care about me or Madison.  He gets into fits sometimes, just last week he busted out the window in my trailer & tried to blame me for making him angry. 
But I am getting stronger now.  i have been going to church regularly & meeting new people which is building up my self esteem.  I am not the same person I was before he went to jail, (Oct.12th, 2007) He was just released on Nov. 19th, 2007.  He did good for about 3 days then started his old games up.  I never actually caught him in the act of using but I know he is.  He only hangs out with drug addicts & he way he acts his moods change & he gets angry easily.  I used to do drugs a long time ago but have stopped using entirely by the grace of God.  My father used to do drugs, so I can pretty much tell when someone is using.  Plus whenever I'm about ready to end the relationship he'll go & do something nice to me.  I can't take it anymore, I feel better when he's gone.  But I love him so much, it is so very confusing, but I know what I need to do.  It's just going to be hard. 

My boyfriend lives with me but I am living like a single mom, I support me & him because he won't get a job or help out.

Quoting MikeysMomma98:

Hello my name is Brittany.  I don't have anything to hide, I am a very open person about every aspect in my life.  I am a single mother to a wonderful 9 yr old boy.  He has changed my life for the better.  His father was very abusive to me.  He had a severe drug problem of course.  I left him when I was about 8 month pregnant.  I caught him using in my bathroom before work one morning.  That was it for me.  He hung around until our son was born.  I started seeing somone else and he just wouldnt have it.  He did everything possible to make me miserable.  When my son was about 8-10 months old he showed up one day to pick him up for a couple hours.  He of course brought his little girlfriend, whatever it kept him out of my hair.  Until she decided to take my son and put him in her lap in the front seat because his cheap ass didn't want to buy a car seat.  To make a long story short, he didn't like the choice words that I used with his little love puff and it turned into a knock down drag out brawl between him and I in the middle of the street.  He tried to take my baby in a car with no car seat.  Thats enough to make a mom go irrate! So after my enitre apartment complex watched him literally beat the daylights out of me, inclulding running my foot over with his car, we got arrested.  The district attorneys office pressed charges against me for defending myself because I was the first one to make physical contact with him.  It was a long hard road dealing with all of the fines, court dates, probabtion...... and the list goes on.  That was just the beginning of my abusive relationships, except I never faught back again.  I wasn't about to go throug that again.  If you have any questions please feel free to ask.  Have a wonderful day and thank you for allowing me to share, and thank you for reading......

Hey everyone! My name is Amber, I am 23 years old and I live in South Arkansas.

I am too lazy to type out to story again, so I am going to copy and paste..lol Hope that is ok!



The above picture is my MIL.

She is how my life has been affected. She was killed by her exhusband (my FIL). She suffered his abuse for over 20 years before she got out. He even remarried. But he got word that she was seeing someone and was happy. My husband and me and his brother and a few friends were on a canoe trip (she was going to join us, but we called and told her not to cause we had spotted my FIL on the river) when we got a call that she was in the hospital. It was from my SIL, she didn't know all the details, but that she was in bad shape. We were in the middle of a river and couldnt just get out, so we paddled as fast as we could and answered the cell everytime it rang. When we finally got to the pick up point we knew that she was in a coma and being lifted by helicopter to a trauma center. Luckily we were only 30 minutes from where they were taking her...everyone else was 2 hours away. We pulled up to the hospital at the same time as the helicopter. We waited for news. After a bunch of going back and forth, we were told she was braindead. If she did survive, she would be a in a vegitative state. They moved her into ICU and let everyone see her whenever they wanted because of the prognosis. After being in a coma for 13 hours, her body gave out. All of us were with her when she died. Me, my hubby, his brother and 2 sisters, her mom and brother and 2 friends. I was holding her hand when the Doctor looked at the clock to note time of death.

She fought to survive for almost 25 years, and when she was finally free and finally happy he did what everyone  had been trying to tell her for years he was going to do.

My SIL has been giving speeches at different events and I have voluteered at a Women's crisis center. I want to try to save others the the fate my MIL suffered.

She was not the only victim, she left behind 4 brothers, a mom, a grandmother, 4 kids, 8 grandkids, and many many friends. Her memorial service showed us how loved she was...there were so many people that even with people standing in the room, there was overflow in the lobby.

We will all miss her, but her life and death did and will serve a purpose.

To gummybearjunkie....Gosh, I am so sorry for your loss. Those must have been really difficult times for you & the family. It sounds like you all are hanging tight & giving one another support, I hope.  At least your MIL passed away as a free womyn. God bless her for her strength.
Thank you for sharing the story. It is another voice that needs to be heard & I admire your dedication to making her story known.

I am wileyote (for now). I left my abuser 7/01/07 after a 41/2 yrs relationship. I have been kicked out/left on my own & went back to him 9x's. This time it is for good, for my son's sake & for both of our well-being. The verbal/emotional abuse started after 7mths into the relationship. Abuse is such an insidious process, like a vine creeping along until the next thing you know.... it has totally enveloped you & you have become comfortable with it, because you can't see beyond its tendrils weighing down on you. By then, I had lost my best friend & isolated from my family/friends that I was a "loyal, stand-by-your-man" kinda gal. We had a business together & he is not allowed a driver's license so we were together 24/7. I was his driver, secretary, bookkeeper, maid, laundry service, cook, babysitter (I raised his son from 3-7 yrs of age & took care of him when his daddy went MIA), lover, counselor & the brunt of his frustrations when he hated the world. He couldn't even offer me friendship in return because the moment I was upset about something (not even related to him), the moment a teardrop fell down my cheeks...he would pick a fight & go straight to the bar (if I walked into a bar w/out him, there was hell to pay for, like getting kicked out of the house, my stuff strewn all over the front yard & my sentimental belongings broken or burned, rocks & fists denting my vehicle).

He had grabbed & shoved all this time but I just minimized it all. He finally hit me in the face 2x's after 3 1/2 yrs into the relationship. A year later, this past April, he threw me against the wall, shattering the sheetrock, & sat on top of me as his hands gripped my throat, telling me " I'll f*cking kill your ass." Then he shoved a heavy duty, construction grade, plastic bag filled with clothes, over my face, holding it down until I was pleading for my life because I couldn't breathe. He finally let up & I ran to the shower to get away. He then came into the shower, came up behind me, put me in a chokehold from behind & dragged me, naked & wet, across the foyer. He threw me on the ground, just outside the front door, straddled me, grabbed my throat & said again, " I'll f*cking kill you. I'll bury your a** in the back yard & noone will ever find you." He went back inside, locked the door & left me there, shrouded by the night.

We lived in rural WV, in mining country, in logging country. Our neighbors were 10 lots down so noone can hear. In fact, most of the time, we lived in places where there were no close-by neighbors. In retrospect, I now see how convenient that was for him.

I finally had a rude awakening. It took me 2 mths to finally leave. It took two mths to gather $70 through pilfering any change in his pockets while doing laundry or taking $5-10 (he would notice if it was more) out of his wallet when he came home drunk after going MIA. By the grace of God & by the protective hands of my angels, I finally made it out. Dealing with running out of gas money, leaking radiator, 18 mths son, 13 yr old/100lbs dog.....somehow I made it out. 

I am a survivor sister.