Domestic Violence Awareness/Support
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Just would like some advice
May. 12, 2008 at 3:39 PM
by
mommy1st895
posted to Domestic Violence Awareness/Support
- 2 Replies
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Hi. I'm a 42 year old mother of 2 and my husband of 8 years has begun to get abusive within the last 2 years. First verbally, and just recently has pushed me to the point of me falling. He also grabbed my head by my hair and shook me. I think I'm still in shock, but he swore that the day I left he would do all he could to keep our daughter. He has an explosive temper,( he put a hole in our nightstand with our alarm clock) and has called me every name in the book during his fits of anger. He provides very well for our family, and now I think that he does so, so I won't work outside our home. He already told me that he didnt think he could "handle" me having an outside job. Please, I cannot go to anyone in my family, and I just would like some support. Thanks.
Written by mommy1st895 on May. 12, 2008 at 3:39 PM
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by DivaPrincessa on May. 18, 2008 at 9:41 AM
I'm not sure what you want me to say.
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by Shwy721 on May. 30, 2008 at 9:11 AM
Hi. I am so sorry for the lack of support.
I know this is really hard for you. Especially since he is now threatening you with your daughter. I really believe that you need to get out, but I know that fear of what he may do can freeze you. He sounds extremely controlling. He also sounds like a huge coward to be trying to instill so much fear in you in the way that he goes about it. I almost want to laugh at him because he sounds like he is scrambling to find ways to keep you feeling afraid and believing everything he says. I really want you to understand that there are places you can call or go to for help. Orcourse, first and foremost try to gather anything you can as evidence. Record conversations, take pictures of any damage he causes to you home or property, take pictures of any bruises or marks he leaves on your body, etc... What ever you can use against him is something you should definately try to make a record of. Keep a small calendar hidden somewhere that you write down any events that take place like him getting angry and saying certain things, or him beating you, or whatever it may be that has to do with his abuse. Just remember that you need to write things down and keep a record of the abuse that goes on with dates (and times if possible, but not necessary as long as you have the dates). Now, I don't know exactly what your relationship with your family is, but why do you feel that you can not go to your family? You need to find someone you can trust that may be of some help for you. If you dont have anyone, there are shelters that can help. You know your husbands schedule and when you can build up the courage to, during that time that he is away, try to find all the ways possible that you can make moves to get out and leave him. Dont worry about the threats he is making. All of that will back fire on him when proof of abuse is brought out into the open. He would need to prove that you are an unfit mother in order to take your child from you. He is also using that to try to place fear in you. Do not be afraid. Hold on tight. He may try everything in his power to ruin your life and take your child, but keep your head up. Keep being the great mother that I know you are. I will soon post up info about Domestic Violence and places you can go to for help. I hope this helps, but if you need anything else, please do not hesistate to post again or contact me via message. Take care and best of luck. My thoughts and prayers are with you. God Bless, Shwy721 Group Owner: Domestic Violence Awareness/Support http://www.cafemom.com/group/lizdva Feel free to join my group. I take applications but be NOT discouraged as this is only for the safety and security of the group. Thank you. Look forward to having you come on board. Group Administrator: Survivors Reunite: Fight Back Against Domestice Violence; fighting through the laws. http://www.cafemom.com/group/survivorsreunite Again, we take applications, but be NOT discouraged. Apply and join. We look forward to having you on board.
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