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What does L-AMP mean in your life?

Posted by (Grace) on Nov. 27, 2010 at 12:06 PM
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Which "loving alternatives" are salient in your life? What are you doing that's in-line with the group and what are you striving for?

by on Nov. 27, 2010 at 12:06 PM
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Replies (1-8):
Bellarose0212 Grace
by on Nov. 27, 2010 at 12:06 PM

We have pretty much all the attachment parenting things- babywearing, bedsharing, breastfeeding, etc.

We also did a mixture of cloth diapering and elimination communication, with some chlorine-free disposables on occasion.

Aura and I are mostly vegan and Joey is mostly vegetarian. By that I mean, everything in our house is vegan, but occasionally he eats a meat dinner with his family and sometimes I don't care if there is milk in bread or butter on something that somebody feeds to Aura. Plus, she always gets birthday cake at birthday parties.

The biggest thing for us is the emotional stuff. When she was a baby, that meant always having her close and always responding to her cries. Now it has a lot to do with what we say, handeling conflicts, and managing our stress. I try to direct her to what I *do* want her to do over what I *don't* and to come up with creative solutions to problems. We do okay, but I'm still learning. I'm reading "how to listen so kids will talk, and talk so kids will listen." I have lots of others in the genre on my list. Plus, I love the daily groove emails. We do say no, we don't do time-outs. And of course, no spanking. She is, for the most part, a happy toddler.I struggle with some things, I still say "Good Job" despite reading Kohn's article and getting the point. Aura even says "I'm a good jobber." She coined that. But idk, we also don't do sticker charts or positive reinforcement, bribes, etc, so I think (or I hope) that it's not showing her conditional love or teaching her to rely on others for satisfaction instead of herself. I also focus on her enjoyment of something whenever I can, and lately trying to praise her based on effort instead of just her smarts or the outcome (also reading Nurtureshock).

She does watch TV, sometimes more than I think is good, but lately it's been off almost all the time and she is asking for it less (yay). BUt she is a Dora and Diego kid! Woah!

We're not very green. :( Although, I'd like to be. But being mostly vegan, breastfeeding, and not consuming very many disposable diapers does something in that direction, I think.

Um, we don't do any body alterations (ear piercing) or vaccinations, and likely won't until she's old enough to make a decision for her own body. The vaccine thing is tricky for me, and I respect anyone's decision if they are informed, rather than thinking my way is best (like I do with breastfeeding, for instance) because it's such a complicated decision. I liked Aviva Jill Romm's book for a comprehensive look at vaccines. We won't circumcise if we ever have a son.

Um, I'll weigh in on anything else when you ladies bring it up, but that's all I can think of for now!

Imamom4sure
by on Nov. 27, 2010 at 2:00 PM
I love reading what you wrote grace!

My kids are getting older and I have a range of ages 2,6,9 and soon to be 12. At present, I'm doing extended breastfeeding with my youngest. Helping him stay consistent with potty and developing his language skills and experiencing respect for his personhood and trying to get more conscientious with routines and namely dental hygiene. My older kids, it's about relationship skills with each other and working on improving reading skills with my 6 year old and time management with my oldest and emotional management with my 9 year old.

At present I'm working on babysteps instead of overwhelming and depressing myself. Gratitude
attitude is vital I think but also staying persistently committed.

I'm feeling myself overwhelmed especially during this time of having family of origin members with mental illness and poor coping skills in the general family. And how much change I think is needed. I feel pressure in case something genetic is passed down to my kids so I want an optimal environment and necessary coping skills are taught that empowers them to be aware and not likely for the genes to express themselves
Tyness Talia
by on Nov. 28, 2010 at 9:13 PM
I haven't posted much. Been too busy with a new baby lol. My daughter is six months so I haven't reallyy had the opprotunity to do to much, but we bedshare, breastfeed (first in my family), babywear, and am now doing baby led weaning and basically trusting her ability to know how much to eat. I practice validation and empathy with her sometimes. There's prob more but I cant think of it now.
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Mom71307
by on Nov. 29, 2010 at 4:11 PM

We try really hard to be in tune with our children's feelings and to respond lovingly to them.... sometimes, this is a challenge for me because our 3 yr old is a bit dramatic and I am NOT a sensitive person... she is very sensitive.  I often find myself really having to think about how to respond to her lovingly because she cries often and I have to overcome my irritation with the sounds and the interruption in the activity.  We also try to be proactive parents... preventing an indiscretion so there is no need for discipline later.  Most discipline is aimed at helping our kids (not so much our 14 month old yet) understand how what they do affects others so they can act more lovingly toward others... this is a lot of teaching by example too though.  I EBF and fullterm BF (3 1/2 yr old still BF 3-4 times per day), delay and baby-led solids, vax free, some co-sleeping, baby wearing, cloth diaper, etc.  We eat as wholesomely as we can and encourage our kids to eat well too.  I suppose the hardest thing right now is responding appropriately to my opinionated, somewhat argumentative, incredibly intelligent, but quite sensitive 3 yr old daughter!  Oh, and my 14 month old's sleep habits that render me exhausted each day... thing is, he is fine during the day!

montessori_mama Melissa
by on Nov. 30, 2010 at 7:59 AM

Aw - I love reading about you all!

Most all of the ap principles resonate with me. I nurse on demand, babywear, co sleep, never ever leave the babe to cry, etc.

We practice EC, using trainers and the occasional full on cloth diaper for back-up. We try to respond to all of Annabelle's needs in a timely and sensitive manner.

Annabelle and I are vegan and my husband eats meat and dairy, but I take care to buy only organic for him and would buy local if there were such a thing as local meat or dairy here. When we move...

We plan to avoid any sort of "punishment," to never lie to Annabelle, etc, but she's so young now that none of these things have come up. Right now it's just all about responding sensitively and treating her with consideration and respect.


SasisVella
by on Jan. 16, 2011 at 4:06 AM

For us parenting is about what comes natural.  I am from a strong community in Georgia while my husband is from India.  We were worried at first about how we would raise our children but it came very easily.

For me it all started when we decided to have children.  I switched to eating a healthier diet like my husband.  I sought out my sister-in-law as my midwife and planned a healthy pregnancy before I was ready to get pregnant.  With each pregnancy I went to India two months before I was due.  I birthed in the same room that my husband was born in.  My children were born straight into his hands.

Now we are a cosleeping, breastfeeding on demand, cloth diapering, baby wearing, bath sharing, multilingual, homeschooling, organic family.  My children never cry it out.  They are never spanked, yelled at, or belittled.  Our children are raised in a Unitarian Univeralist church.  My husband is not religious and I believe in only one god without the savior.  And lastly we follow the belief of courtship instead of dating.  It gets more complicated as they get older.

 


Imamom4sure
by on Jan. 17, 2011 at 12:46 PM

Wow Vella!

your lifestyle with your dh family sounds so wonderful! and love how you describe your family philosophy and practices, I too prepared for parenting as well and aim to be as conscious as possible :)

Imamom4sure
by on Jan. 17, 2011 at 12:51 PM

Talia, Kendra, Melissa and Grace, I love reading about your lives as well, and its exciting to know about a generation of children being brought up with mothers that aim to be as loving and aware and always growing and learning!

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