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I am part way through reading the book "Alone Together" by Sherry Trukle and it is scary!  Basic topic is how we are impacted by "social" robots, wireless technology and games.

The first part on social robots is sort of dry, academic and a bit hard to relate to - I mean, no one I know has access to robots costing thousands of dollars.  The second part on wireless technology, social networking and games is really eye-opening.

The book is really wanting to make me go "Amish" even more so than I already am (no TV since 1990 - another topic for another time).  Even though we think of wireless devices and social media as making us more connected, in reality (according to Trukle's research) they are actually making us less connected and stunting the emotional development of young users.

I feel rather vindicated on holding firm with family limits on television (DvDs only), cell phones (after learner's permit), computer time (1.5 hrs/day between 9AM and 8:30PM - no computers in the bedroom) and game restrictions (no rated M games ever, only approved rated T games).  It may make my kids feel "different", but in the long run, it is promoting their ability to relate to real people, deal with their emotions and use technology with appropriate boundaries.

by on Apr. 12, 2011 at 9:14 AM
Replies (11-18):
VeganEcoMama
by on May. 19, 2011 at 1:33 AM

I know for sure that my kids won't have computers in their rooms. I also have a lot of cousins that are very young and have cell phones. I doubt that we'll get one for ours for awhile and I'm for sure requiring phone etiquette. I had to teach it to my husband as well :) when we sit down to eat, no phones! We have a tv but no cable just Netflix so our kids won't watch much tv either and whatever it is we would have to rent/stream it. 

I have a love/hate relationship with technology. Sometimes I want to get rid of it all and sometimes I love it (for times like Cafe Mom). 

DrRama Rama
by on May. 19, 2011 at 8:03 AM

Speaking of getting more lax as with subsequent children, my son (16) is forever complaining that we are more lax with his sister about practically everything.   I think that there may be a grain of truth to this, but I think some of it is just selective memory.  It seems natural to me that parenting style and substance would evolve over time.  After all, we have a learning curve operating here.  I think that we also (hopefully) become as part of being better parents better caretakers of ourselves.  Meaning that we may be spending our time differently.   I like to think that I am a more relaxed parent the third time around rather than necessarily thinking of it as having turned into some sort of slacker.

Czarena
by on May. 19, 2011 at 12:22 PM

My 8yo has unlimited access to movies and video games. (games depicting real life violence is not ok - Iraq war veteran daddy) He self regulates and doesn't spend all day at his computer. He's often found with legos, his brothers, outside and with friends.

We don't have a TV, but we watch movies and tv shows on the computer. I am opposed to the commercials and the reality tv.

We have a spare cell phone that he gets when we go to events/ places that he might be seperated. He can call us instantly. He doesn't have it any other time

Imamom4sure ♥Kim
by on May. 20, 2011 at 2:07 AM

I totally know what you mean by love/ hate relationship!

I love technology but at times we let it get out of balance, or I just don't know how to use it. then I pull back or get lessons or something and then enjoy the break, but get back onto it amazed and excited by all the cool things, and bring it into our lifestyle again, balanced at first but little by little, LOL anyway, I guess its an ebb and flow lifestyle.

Quoting VeganEcoMama:

I know for sure that my kids won't have computers in their rooms. I also have a lot of cousins that are very young and have cell phones. I doubt that we'll get one for ours for awhile and I'm for sure requiring phone etiquette. I had to teach it to my husband as well :) when we sit down to eat, no phones! We have a tv but no cable just Netflix so our kids won't watch much tv either and whatever it is we would have to rent/stream it. 

I have a love/hate relationship with technology. Sometimes I want to get rid of it all and sometimes I love it (for times like Cafe Mom). 


Imamom4sure ♥Kim
by on May. 20, 2011 at 2:08 AM

aw thank you for this, I do think I am more relaxed and better at connection parenting but I also get concerned about my youngest that has been growing up with computers prominet, heck I was on cafemom while I was in labor with him!

Quoting DrRama:

Speaking of getting more lax as with subsequent children, my son (16) is forever complaining that we are more lax with his sister about practically everything.   I think that there may be a grain of truth to this, but I think some of it is just selective memory.  It seems natural to me that parenting style and substance would evolve over time.  After all, we have a learning curve operating here.  I think that we also (hopefully) become as part of being better parents better caretakers of ourselves.  Meaning that we may be spending our time differently.   I like to think that I am a more relaxed parent the third time around rather than necessarily thinking of it as having turned into some sort of slacker.


fallenruby
by on May. 20, 2011 at 2:10 AM

 Honestly, "going Amish" would be beneficial to every aspect of our lives, for soo many reasons. But i live in a world where fear is very present. Cell phones are something I WILL give my children in the future (when they are old enough to be without me) due solely for safety reasons. So for that reason (one farrrrr from the norm i'm sure) I am thankful for the tech.

fallenruby
by on May. 20, 2011 at 2:12 AM

 everything in moderation, right ladies.

Imamom4sure ♥Kim
by on May. 20, 2011 at 2:14 AM

I go through phases of this, and for my 12 year old, he was invited to a scary rated R movie slumber party but he self regulates and isn't intersted in anything rated R (and I'm not interested in anything rated x) and all his younger siblings also avoid rated R, movies with sex and violence if PG as well, just because they are not interested, and although initially I avoided letting them see it, I would tell them briefly what is in the film and that is why I wasn't letting them see it, perhaps it might give nightmares or upset them, and they didn't want to risk it, I believe I gave honest information as to what I thought, but if they did want to risk it, I probalby would work out soemthing with them or allow it. but never had that situation. (they also don't do violent video games and such) just like your son, they prefer playing with eachother or friends or Legos, or reading, etc.

and we are in the same boat of only have computer or a roku box on our tv that doesnt get any stations. so they rarely see commercials.

Quoting Czarena:

My 8yo has unlimited access to movies and video games. (games depicting real life violence is not ok - Iraq war veteran daddy) He self regulates and doesn't spend all day at his computer. He's often found with legos, his brothers, outside and with friends.

We don't have a TV, but we watch movies and tv shows on the computer. I am opposed to the commercials and the reality tv.

We have a spare cell phone that he gets when we go to events/ places that he might be seperated. He can call us instantly. He doesn't have it any other time


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