Halloween was to stressful

I had to orginally plan to cancel all Haloween plans this year being afraid that it would be too much for her.  But I got thinking you can't shelter her all of her life, and she begged me.  I didn't want her to feel any different than anyother child.   So we went to the neighbor hood haunted house and she like it,  that night she came home and had nightmares.  Not that bad but still nightmares.  Then a wk later was haloween she got to go to a friends house from school for a party.  She loved it she was fitting in, having a ball nothing was wrong, then this is the worst part an adult want to scare kids jumps out in a "Scream Costume with knife" scared her to death.  There was tears and the look was enough see it scared her to the bone.  The man came and said he was sorry took his mask off and she was fine.  I think I asked 100 times if not more if she wanted to go home...everytime the answer was always no.

Sunday morning....she wakes up fever and stomach hurts, all day I watched her not feel good. When the night came she ran a fever all night and she had night night mares every 10 mins of her sexual assult. 


I feel so guilty for letting her go I just wanted her to feel normal for a little while... I am so mad at myself right now.   I worry if the stress of the holiday will always be too much for her?  I was sick last night at the fact I had let her go and then she got stressed this bad over it.  I really feel like a unfit mother.  You know it's funny you have a kid and there are no directions to go with it then something this horrible happens and you don't know what to do anymore.  Sometimes I get so tired of messing up.  I wish there was a book that says do this and not this when kids go through this.