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Posted by on Feb. 16, 2010 at 8:50 PM
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hello,

this is an unfortunate group to have to join, but i need a little advice. my three year old daughter was raped by her biological fathers step brother, over thanksgiving weekend while visiting her grandparents. she was taken out of her bed in the middle of the night and taken down to the basement. He confessed the night i found out about and took her to the hospital. she had a rape kit, interview with the detectives, up til 4 in the morning,..... the whole bit. well now she has constant nightmares thinks someone is under her bed or in her closet, all of that. she is in counceling but i dont see that its helping. i am so frustrated and was wondering if anyone could please help me understand how to get thru all of this...

by on Feb. 16, 2010 at 8:50 PM
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Replies (1-5):
TeresaJones5
by on Feb. 17, 2010 at 8:47 AM

I'm sooo sorry about what your going through and what your daughter is going through. Let her know that she is safe and maybe get her a new stuffed animal to guard her at night or you can let her stay in your room or you in hers. This will go on for a while you should also talk to her counselor about your concerns and see if they have any suggestions.

hope this helps 

ClaireSilva
by Group Owner on Feb. 18, 2010 at 8:26 AM

Hello!  Welcome to the group!  Sorry to hear about what happened to your daughter!  It sounds like you have all bases covered - that you took her to the hospital & she is in counseling - great!  Unfortunately I think the nightmares is part of the whole thing.  We found that the best thing for my kids was as soon as they had a nightmare - they would tell me the whole thing - detail by detail...  And we would sit down & talk about the dream - analyzing if any parts were from things they saw on TV & what parts were from the perpetrator...  We found that if they were not able to talk about their dream - they would keep having the same nightmare over & over until we sat and processed it...  Eventually your daughter will gain more control in her dreams.  She'll probably have some where she is not afraid or not going to get hurt - but the perp is there...  and eventually she'll have dreams that she is in control.  But for now - she is still processing what happened to her - all very natural!  My kids were in complete trauma mode for about a year - and then they started having more peace...  The best thing you can do is normallize talking about things with her.  If she has a nightmare - both of you sit & talk about it & process it.  If she learns that she can talk about it - she will have the best chances of healing...

deidre101
by New Member on Feb. 25, 2010 at 8:54 PM

Thank you both for your advice they are both great ideas and i will try both of them!

ClaireSilva
by Group Owner on Aug. 20, 2010 at 12:06 PM

Hello!  Sorry I'm responding so late from when you first posted your message!

How is your daughter doing now? 

~Claire

 Author of   A Child's Heart Speaks: Surviving Sexual Abuse

MommyOfCDLY
by on Aug. 29, 2010 at 5:14 PM

Is the counseling that she is in specific to the abuse or just basic counseling? My son has been seeing regular child therapists, but we are now switching him to the Children's Home Society of Washington.  They do specific sex abuse therapy geared toward the child. I have been told they are very good. I would suggest you seek out specific counseling for the abuse. 

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