Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

coaches kids

Posted by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 3:00 PM
  • 12 Replies
  • 773 Total Views

Hi everyone.  I am new here and glad I found this site.  Wanted a little advice.  My 9 year old son is on a POP Warner football team and was recommened by his baseball coach last spring to play football because he thought he was a good athlete.  (The baseball coach is also the commishioner (SP?) of the pop warner football.  Anyway he has practiced his toosh off since Aug 1st and did and is still doing great.  He played in the Jamboree game and some scrimidge games and was 1st string.  Now that the real games have started he is 3rd string and does not play.  My son is so upset.  He goes to bed crying saying the coached thinks hes bad etc...  etc..

I of course encourage him but I found on the roster that ALL (8) coaches kids start first string and most of them STINK!  My boyfriend says thats just the way it is in youth sports and I just need to except it.  I just think it is so unfair to the kids that can really play.

 

Thanks for letting me vent!!!

by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 3:00 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
4puddintaters
by Member on Sep. 2, 2010 at 1:47 AM

I agree with ur husband unfortunately, as i've found this to be true after being in league sports for 8 years now! It's a perk that the parents get who volunteer their time to be responsible for teaching a team of kids to play a sport.  I don't agree with that and i feel your pain, but that's the way it is sometimes.  My hb works with a guy who does the same thing you're talking about and even worse, if parents piss him off by complaining about stuff like your concern, he takes it out on the kids, for instance if a parent comes to him and complains that their kid isn't getting enought playing time, he makes sure that the kid doesn't get to play.  My daughter's basketball league  coach let his son play every game and he wasn't that great.  If you don't like it, maybe you could take it to league admin. but most likely you will get nowhere and maybe even get the cold shoulder.

goldengrl65
by New Member on Sep. 2, 2010 at 11:09 AM

Thanks for your reply.  I thought I was the only one for awhile.  I just tell him to give it 110 percent no matter what.

ginal966
by Member on Sep. 12, 2010 at 7:29 PM
1 mom liked this

  Just remember the coaches kid won't take his dad to Jr. High and High School, these teams want to win and if you practice hard this is what will count, don;t give up!

JMDmommy
by New Member on Sep. 13, 2010 at 8:12 AM

I have the same problem with my sons team :( my son is 5 and of course its his first year and he is learning.  My son is really trying to figure out the game and needs the attention from the coaches but all the coaches kids all the attention and it is extremely obvious!  I feel that all the other kids are used as the punching bags for the coaches kids.  

My son has taken some hard illegal hits from the coaches son and I have gotten very ticked off because everyone sees it and nothing is said to the kid.  I just encourage my son to get out there and do his best and show the other boys how its done... even if he doesnt know what he's doing lol I tell him to find the ball and get that guy! :)  


sandif
by on Sep. 19, 2010 at 3:35 PM

I have a bit of a different take on this, luckily, I guess. My daughter, who is 15 plays softball and her dad has been the coach since she was 9. He is harder on her than anyone, and if she's not playing well, she sits the bench. She's a great athlete, so this doesn't happen much, but he still criticizes her for any mistake she makes-it's quite disturbing. It's true that in high school, the dads most likely won't be coaching, so the best talent plays. That doesn't help now, I know. Maybe your son can play for another team-although the same problem may be there as well. Good luck and have your son keep playing.

ddjsmom
by New Member on Sep. 21, 2010 at 10:30 AM

I feel your frustration. I went through that with my son. He was on the defensive line and could take two boys at one time. He sat out major part of the games because the two coaches' sons and the best friend got most playing time. The only time he got in was when his dad and I pointed out to the coach he hadn't gotten in yet. He would put him in for the minimum required time and then out again. Every youth league should have a minimum required playing time. Make sure he is at least getting to play that.  In our instance it was just rediculous. We lost every game, and didn't score once in all season. The quarterback was so short he couldn't see over his offensive line........ He was the coach's son.   

goldengrl65
by New Member on Sep. 24, 2010 at 6:26 PM

I now chose to just stay at home and let my boyfriend take hime because I get too pissed off.  I'll wait until jr high and high school.

4puddintaters
by Member on Oct. 1, 2010 at 8:13 PM


Quoting ddjsmom:

I feel your frustration. I went through that with my son. He was on the defensive line and could take two boys at one time. He sat out major part of the games because the two coaches' sons and the best friend got most playing time. The only time he got in was when his dad and I pointed out to the coach he hadn't gotten in yet. He would put him in for the minimum required time and then out again. Every youth league should have a minimum required playing time. Make sure he is at least getting to play that.  In our instance it was just rediculous. We lost every game, and didn't score once in all season. The quarterback was so short he couldn't see over his offensive line........ He was the coach's son.   

that is crazy and funny about the coach's kid as quarterback. 

mommy2samjamaam
by New Member on Oct. 10, 2010 at 12:08 AM

If you live in a big enough area you might want to look into a different league next season. Where we live all of the leagues have mim required playing time. It's true with even the most fair leagues coaches kids get more calls played for them. Unfortunately that is the way youth sport s are. My husband usually coaches or my son ends up on teams with coaches who we know well. My youngest son is a very good athlete so we are lucky that some of his friends dad's recruit him for their teams. He was on a summer football league where he got the ball once a game. The 1st game he made a 70 yard touchdown. The next game he got the team a 1st down that was his only playing time. The coaches kid got the ball the rest of the game even though my son could play circles around him. My hubby is coaching football next year for this very reason. Good luck try another league next year if you can.

itzmyzoo
by New Member on Oct. 13, 2010 at 12:06 PM

i  have 3 boys that play pop warner, we have been doing it for 6 years now, and my hubby is a head coach so i see it happen both ways.  my middle boy, a mighty mite, gets shorted on his plays because his head coach and my hubby do business together.  when we took our business somewhere else, my kid went to 2nd string.  but he keeps practicing, knowing he will not have to deal with those coaches next year.  and there is only 2 games left!  my youngest is on daddys team.  he  is a defensive gaurd, and dad is as hard on him, sometimes more, than the rest of the team!  he does have to work hard to make sure he does not show favortism,  and does a good job at it!  my oldest, just turned 10, is a jr pee wee.  first level of competion, and the youngest on his team!  i was afraid he would be a 10 play player, but his coach recognizes his talent, he is center, and even pulls his own kid out to play mine!    that is the kind of coaches i like!  they play talent!! 

going to the coach may give you a better idea of why your kid is not playing.  there may actually be a good reason, however, how you approach it is the key.  not, why is my kid not playing, but what can i do to improve him as a player.  you may get a better response.  going to the league board is usually pointless.  they put their trust in the coach, and usually wont step in unless there a lot complaints/inquiries.  (we were also on the board for several years) 

one thing pop warner can teach, at all times, is to never give up, and always give your best, no matter what!! 

and one more thing, and we learned this the hard way.  the parents need to appear to always support the coaches!  if the kids hear that other adults don't like the way things are done, they tend to loose respect for the coaches.  and even if the coaches are not doing things the way we think they should be done, they are volunteers, and put in countless hours and have 20-30 other kids to consider, too.

 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)