25 weeks preg and still have nothing

[FallenKitty]

I don't have anything but a couple cheap outfits I found in a sale bin when I had money
now I have absolutely no money, hardly any food, a shitty place to live, and just no hope
I only have a couple moneths now to make sure I have everything, but I haven't gotten any help from anyone
the state is trying to get me to work at fast food joints when I can't stand for more than a few minutes without fainting and have horrible social anxiety
I just don't know what to do
I can't live where I am when the baby is born because the place is disgusting and there's no room
and no "imcome based" place will accept me because my hubby is a felon and he has back issues that are keeping him from work and the state refuses to help him either

I just don't know what to do
I feel like my life is falling into a downward spiral now and I feel hopeless
it's even getting to the point where I don't want to get up or even eat anymore

[avi_nevaeh_mama]

I know in California if you have your doctor fill out a form for the state saying that you can't work due to complications with your pregnancy then they can't force you to work. You still get all the benefits without having to do the jobs. Hope everything gets better. Check with your local churches. You don't have to be a member or even that religion. Most every church does some kind of community reachout program and will help you get clothes and baby supplies. Good luck mommy.

[mommy588]

not sure where you live but we live in indiana and my brother in law got help from the state even though his wife has a felony charge on her and my sister went to the town trustee for help they gave her a voucher for food and gas and a voucher for clothes for the baby and said when the baby is born they would get her a crib and bassinet so mabey you can try that!!!!

also do you have family that will help you out or even throw you a baby shower if you do i bet they already have something planned hope this info helps and the town trustee should help you out but i know that here you can only go every six months to get help well best of luck to you and your hubby and baby

megan

[MamaMadge]

I am so sorry you are having a rough time.  Times are so hard for everyone out there.  I really feel you could benefit from an evaluation for medication for depression. When you are feeling like you can't do your daily routine because of hopelessness, you need some help.  Talk to your OB doc about some medications and seek some type of counseling.

You really don't need much for the baby.  Tshirts, a few outfits, a few blankets and diapers.  Of course, breastfeeding is best and it's FREE, so make sure you get info. and support to establish breastfeeding for a healthy baby!  If you buy one thing a week for the baby,  from now until your due date you should be set.  Ask for help in locating local agencies that provide clothing for moms and babies.  The help is out there, but you have to look for it.

The hard times will pass, but this is your time to focus on enjoying your pregnancy and your baby.  I hope you will seek the help you need to feel better.  We are all here for you my dear.

[FallenKitty]

Okay, first off I don't like being told I need meds
I don't believe in medications and won't take them for any reason
all my depression has caused is me to sleep alot and refuse to deal with people
[I also have reason to believe that's also because of social anxiety]

secondly, I don't have a doctor because I don't have any transportation to get to one
and I don't trust taking the bus after the last bus trip I took in this town

I don't have any transportation to anywhere in town until after 4pm
most clinics won't make appointments that late, and not any around here for sure
and places that could help me aren't even open til 4pm, at least not all the ones I've called

and the only way I'm gonna breastfeed a baby is if I'm given a breast pump
I don't even like the idea of them being used in that way
and breast pumps are expensive

[MamaMadge]

FallenKitty,

I am very sorry if I offended you in any way.  I did not say you need medication, I recommended an evaluation.  If you are unable to get up or to eat, you could be clinically depressed.  If you don't want to take meds, that's your choice.  There is NO shame in taking meds for diagnosed depression. 

If you are not receiving prenatal care, you are putting yourself and your baby at risk.  Plain and simple.  You can look for any excuse but there are clinics and assistance that will help pregnant women and babies. 

Once your baby is born, he/she will need medical care, and regular check ups.  You will need to take your baby to the doctor.  These are things to think about starting now.

If you don't like your breasts being used in "that way" then what way DO you want them used?  They were created for feeding a child, the other things are just a bonus.  Not the other way around.

You are welcome here and we are here to support you and not to bash you.  If you feel you are being offended, please choose another group.

Laura,

Admin.

[ArtisticMom2005]

I agree with you, MamaMadge.

FallenKitty, I know from experience (from a family who has been through clinical depression...) I went through a period of depression years ago. I was never diagnosed nor was I ever put on medications...it was only through the grace of God that I made it through that period in my life. My mom, however, was diagnosed and is still taking medication. Without it, she was unable to function. Do I think that my mom is by any means weaker for having to take medication to overcome that depression...no. Some people need medication, others don't. None of us here can tell you if you need that medication, only a professional can do that. But right now you need to think about what is best for your baby. Get yourself to a doctor by any means! (and I'm referring to a OBGYN)

There are places to help. I agree that maybe asking around some local churches to see if they might have some people willing to donate some baby items to you or help you out in some way.

There are only so many things people can tell you here online. The rest has to be left up to you. You need to make the decision to make it work, instead of making the excuses as to why it won't. (Please don't take what I'm saying in the wrong way. I know it might sound harsh, but I say that because I used to be the type of person who would constantly make excuses for things when people would offer suggestions to help. I would do this because I felt hopeless and felt like nothing would work for me. However, once I was able to change my outlook and place my focus back on God I got through that period in my life and started making the choice to make things work even when it sometimes seemed impossible. Even when it's hard you need to keep pressing on. I know it's easier said then done.)

I, of course, am not in your situation so I don't fully know what you are going through, but I pray only the best for you and your baby.

Quoting MamaMadge:

FallenKitty,

I am very sorry if I offended you in any way.  I did not say you need medication, I recommended an evaluation.  If you are unable to get up or to eat, you could be clinically depressed.  If you don't want to take meds, that's your choice.  There is NO shame in taking meds for diagnosed depression. 

If you are not receiving prenatal care, you are putting yourself and your baby at risk.  Plain and simple.  You can look for any excuse but there are clinics and assistance that will help pregnant women and babies. 

Once your baby is born, he/she will need medical care, and regular check ups.  You will need to take your baby to the doctor.  These are things to think about starting now.

If you don't like your breasts being used in "that way" then what way DO you want them used?  They were created for feeding a child, the other things are just a bonus.  Not the other way around.

You are welcome here and we are here to support you and not to bash you.  If you feel you are being offended, please choose another group.

Laura,

Admin.

 

[FallenKitty]

Yes but I have already stated that I have no transportation during the day when things are open
the only chance I have for transportation is after 4pm most weekdays when most clinics are closed
and I don't have the ability or the means to drive myself
nor can I walk that far or ride a bike
so I'm not making excuses, I'm stating facts

and besides the fact that I don't own any warm clothes that fit me right now
only PJ pants and tanktops, that's all I have because I have NO money
I don't work and my husband doesn't work because we have no transportation
and he has severe back problems, along with getting hit by a car last week

And I dont even know anyone in town that could help me, I don't even know where anything is around here
I've only been living here since August and I rarely go anywhere, mostly in fear of my psycho ex finding me
and I don't talk to any of my family either, most of them disowned me the last time I got pregnant
and still don't talk to me to this day, but just about all of them had girls anyway, so they wouldn't have been any help

[ArtisticMom2005]

I'm sorry that you're going through this. I don't know what I can really offer to help other then to say I will pray for you. There's only so much we can do online other than listen and allow you to vent when you need to. I hope that you find help and a solution to what you are dealing with soon.

Quoting FallenKitty:

Yes but I have already stated that I have no transportation during the day when things are open
the only chance I have for transportation is after 4pm most weekdays when most clinics are closed
and I don't have the ability or the means to drive myself
nor can I walk that far or ride a bike
so I'm not making excuses, I'm stating facts

and besides the fact that I don't own any warm clothes that fit me right now
only PJ pants and tanktops, that's all I have because I have NO money
I don't work and my husband doesn't work because we have no transportation
and he has severe back problems, along with getting hit by a car last week

And I dont even know anyone in town that could help me, I don't even know where anything is around here
I've only been living here since August and I rarely go anywhere, mostly in fear of my psycho ex finding me
and I don't talk to any of my family either, most of them disowned me the last time I got pregnant
and still don't talk to me to this day, but just about all of them had girls anyway, so they wouldn't have been any help

[jrsmom07]

Wait  a minute if u have no money then how are u able to have Internet connection to be on here and a computer at that. Sorry but Im being realistic. If ur hubby is unable to work let him apply for SSI if they find him disabled then they will give him a monthly check. Here in NY when a felon comes out of jail they get welfare so I have no idea why where u r at they dont have that. And y aren't u on it. I'm not saying thats the way to go but uwhen u have nothing u find the means especially when u r having a baby. N y is it u can only travel after 4pm. SInce ur hubby isn't working tell him to go with u so u can get ur things in order. All THIS IS NOT for u or him BUT for the BABY u r carrying. 

[FallenKitty]

I have internet connection because the people I live with have it and pay for it
and no, they won't help me with anything else because they're expecting their own kid next year
and I've had my laptop for nearly two years, it was a gift from my dad that I no longer speak to back when I still lived with the asshole

and the reason I can't get anywhere after 4pm is because that's the only time my roommates are here
I don't have ANY money to take the bus, so I have to rely on them when they have time
so I haven't even been able to make doctor's appointments because they have to be in the morning

and now that 8 inches of snow fell, there is no other way I can get anywhere
not like I could really walk or bike 3 miles to most places to begin with

My husband has applied for SSI and been denied teice now and he's working on his third appeal
and we were told it could take up to a year before he starts getting anything, and I'm due in March
so that doesn't help even if he does get it now

And the only welfare they'll give me is food stamps, nothing else
because in order to get cash assistance I have to spend 35 hours a week at the county building looking for work
when I can't stand for more than five minutes without fainting, have social anxiety, and can't lift ANYTHING
I can't even bend over to pick up my kitten without hurting myself

and they don't help felons here at all, they give you and only you a place to live and that's it
and he had to move out and into the place I live to take care of me because I can't get up stairs on my own with the extra weight on my knees [that I have been having problems with since I was 15]

and my husband does go everywhere with me, that doesn't stop my social anxiety from taking over
and if I don't get out of situations where I start panicking, sometimes it turns into a seizure
it's happened a few times, before I got pregnant
that's why I try to stay home, because I don't need my unborn getting hurt