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C-sections ....... Want to talk about it?

Posted by on Jul. 21, 2010 at 4:53 PM
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Many women feel sad after a c-section, others are not sad.

There are no wrong ways to feel.

But at the same time, we need to be careful how we talk to people about those experiences and feelings. Never should we tell someone their feelings are wrong or different. 

And never ever tell a mom that "at least your baby is here, healthy and safe. That's all that really matters....." because for many women, that is not all that matters.  



by on Jul. 21, 2010 at 4:53 PM
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Replies (1-8):
MelzyD
by on Jul. 21, 2010 at 4:56 PM

I totally agree with you.  I ended up having to have a c-section with my daughter.  I know I made the safest choice to get her here in my head, but I have a hard time getting my heart to accept it.  Sometimes I feel like I didn't get to "give birth" to my daughter. 

CHIQUITA18852
by New Member on Oct. 4, 2010 at 10:18 AM
What I totally hate about csections in general is the fact that you are thown with the idea at the end. I hated it. All throughout the pregnancy it was always vag birth! That's all they were talking to me about. Only until my 36 weeks of labor did they throw in my face that I have to consider csection because my ds was so big. Pretty much saying tht there was no way I can have him vag. I was confused, frustrated, scared, angry!! All into one. I wish that obs and midwives will consider having soon to be mothers research the possibilty with having a csection and to at least keep aware of it. If they do recommend csection at least they know wat to expect and emotionally prepare themselves more. I personally wished that I was told earlier and in a different way.
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Shanna84
by New Member on Oct. 5, 2010 at 11:34 AM


Quoting MelzyD:

I totally agree with you.  I ended up having to have a c-section with my daughter.  I know I made the safest choice to get her here in my head, but I have a hard time getting my heart to accept it.  Sometimes I feel like I didn't get to "give birth" to my daughter. 

*Sigh* I feel the same way. What a beautiful way to put it, "getting my heart to accept it".

 No one in my family likes to talk about it and I just feel like I need to discuss it, over and over if I have to. I didn't get to hold my son for 2 hours after he was born.

diandfi
by New Member on Oct. 8, 2010 at 8:54 PM

I also felt like I didn't get to "give birth" to my son. I know it was necessary for both of our healths, but I felt (feel?) that I messed up and couldn't even do my first job as a mother right.

My second one was planned under my doctor's recomendation. For months prior my mother kept mentioning that she would like to see me go into labor. When I said you mean " have a real birth?" she just kind of nodded. I was too scared and embarreassed to tell her that I had started labor the day before my c-section. As they were starting my meds I was already 2 mins apart. Still kind of ashamed of that for several reasons.

liltrippymom
by Member on Dec. 31, 2011 at 1:55 AM
i thought i accepted the fact i needed a c-section. i had my twins on the 18th of this month babg A was breech. i knew witg twins c-section was a possibility i even researched it and asked my dr a boat load if questions. which he was mkre than willing. i really wanted yi try for a vag birth but she baby A did not want to turn. i was very upset but me and my dr agreed i would go in to natural labor first. which i did. but when i had them i felt cheatec of there birth my first son was vaginal so u was really hopinb to experience that again. i am depressed and cry alot my own dr didnt even deliver babys were smaller then anticipted so had to go to a nigger hospital an hour away while contracting. i am depressed and feel like it will never go away i have no desire to ho through a c-section agin. VBAC is what i hope if i have more children. i know this is long and prob makes little or no sence but im blad to get it out agan. as some one else said i want to talk about it all the time. motly to decipher it fo myself
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xanthian41691
by on Dec. 31, 2011 at 3:33 PM

I'm still kind of sad. I know it's not PPD (the hospital called for the survey lol) but it's very...overwhelming with a newborn. I feel defeated sometimes (when DD won't stop crying or just wants to eat and eat and eat) but I'm very happy 98% of the time.

It's still not sunk in that I'm a mom. I think because I didn't feel it and I didn't see it that it's not the same. I don't feel like I have a newborn and it's still weird for me to accept that she's ours

2Cor915
by on Apr. 15, 2012 at 6:37 PM

 

Quoting Roadfamily6now:

Many women feel sad after a c-section, others are not sad.

There are no wrong ways to feel.

But at the same time, we need to be careful how we talk to people about those experiences and feelings. Never should we tell someone their feelings are wrong or different. 

And never ever tell a mom that "at least your baby is here, healthy and safe. That's all that really matters....." because for many women, that is not all that matters.  

 

 

 

 I know this is an old post, but I totally agree!  After having DD1 by emergent C sect - I pushed for 2 hours, had forceps which nearly ripped her head off, then her heart rate dropped and we were rushed into surgery, the docs had to put their fist into me vaginally to get her unwedged from my pelvis and push her out the incision site - Anyway, when I got home, my lovely MIL commented that her girls were "real women" because they were able to push their babies out vaginally, and I just did not try hard enough.  So people can really be stupid sometimes!  Birth is such an emotional and intimate time in our lives and we all want it to be perfect, but sometimes it is just not and that is OK!

Mom to 3 awesome kids, whose son's very special brain forgets to tell him to Just Keep Breathing.
feralkitten
by Member on Apr. 16, 2012 at 6:04 AM

i'm one of the mad ones who dose not really mind lol . i dono if it was cause i have the worst morning sickness for 9 months and i'm just so ill by time i'm 9 months i dropped 2-3 dress sizes and am so dehydrated

i get knocked out for my sections due to  being needle  phobic and when i wake up my sickness is gone and i'm on a drip fixing out my dehydration so i feel so much better . and my dh is normally standing holding my baby in front of me when i open my eyes

with my 1st i was 2 weeks over due and my sickness had started at 4 week pregnant (i was in er with it at 4 weeks !!! i was so dehydrated i had to be put on a drip ) could you imagine going 2 extra week feeling like your dieing lol

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