How has your c-section(s) affected your life?

[Roadfamily6now]

For the better or the worse, feel free to discuss your thoughts and emotions here. 

[rash232]

for me, my c secion is worse. the scar is all healed but it still hurts alot of the time. especially now, im pregnant with my second and i cany even bend over. i hate it. but iy is something i need to live with.

[gnr]

It has caused me alot of problems.  I had sharp pains in my right side for over a year after I had my daughter.  I also had a hard time after she was born.  I was in so much pain I had a hard time caring for her and breastfeeding her.  It was very difficult.  I cried myself to sleep when I was in the hospital the Nurses on third shift were so mean. 

[yakamoz]

I'd like to reply to this post, but don't have time right this second.  Here's a bump in the meantime.

[Daynaof3]

 Both. I went in to the hospital under-prepared,  I wanted to have a natural vaginal delivery of my twins. They told me I needed to induce, I didn't need to they could have monitored me closely and induced if it became clear it was a necessity. They did things to me in labor that weren't right, ultimately I ended up with a c-section. One of my girls was admitted to the special care nursery as well. I had a horrible time dealing with the fact that things didn't turn out at all like I had hoped. Physically it has affected my self esteem, my periods are different(worse), I believe I have endometriosis or cysts and I need to get to the doctor soon(I have other issues I am seeing 4 doctors for now so it would be overkill to add to that! Those issues I believe were exacerbated by the epidural), and I have adhesion pains.

I went home and researched ALOT about c-sections. This is the positive for me. I now know so much more about c-section and vbac and natural birth than I ever would have had I not gone through this. It has forced me to open my eyes to many issues we have here in the US with obstetrical care, and made me a huge advocate of natural childbirth. It has prepared me for any future pregnancies I have, I will never put myself in that kind of situation again.

So I say both. Worse/negative that I look back on my birth experience with sadness, grief and regret. Better/positive that it has caused me to educate myself and to try to help other women get the birth experience they desire by sharing that information.

[jennjune1984]

Both of my c-sections haven't impacted my life.  It is something that happened and I live with, yes there are things I wish I could have changed, still have a lot of pain due to it, but I still got two beautiful babies out of the experience and that is all I can ask for.  But man, is my scar ugly!!!  Ok, so maybe that impacted my life, I HAVE to cover the scar!

[AllThatBabyJazz]

I did not want a c section but it saved my daughters life and even though I was angry at the time, I thank God and my doctor every day for the last minute decision that was made. With her cord wrapped around her neck twice with every push it was strangling her more and more. Thank God for c sections

[kyleighsmama07]

Both my c-sections and now this next one with the baby i'm pregnant with now have not impacted my life. i gave birth to my child in a way my body could do and it's given me two (soon to be 3) amazing children. My scar is barely noticable and I feel no regrets.

[Roadfamily6now]

I have no regrets over my first C-section. I was just barely 20, pregnant with my first, in labor and when the OB said she was breech and I Needed a c-section, well, I went with it.  I feel sorta mislead though, because looking back at my pregnancy, THEY knew my baby was breech the whole time and I even had a u/s done at 36 weeks when I moved to a new state with my new providers. And yet, not one single person told me anything. NO ONE told me she was breech and to expect a c-section if she was breech in labor!  Why? I will never be able to answer that question.

After my c-section, I went on to have another baby. He was born just 14 months after my c-section and I had a VBAC. Turns out that was something pretty darn special because people weren't just having VBACs. Normally, once you had a c-section, you were given another c-section.  

After my first 2 kids, born in Washington state in 2 different military hospitals, we moved to Alaska. A few years later, we added to our family and I was looking into Birthing Centers as a lovely option. It was at that moment, I can still recall the day, that I discovered that I was "special". That I was different from all the other pregnant women out there.  I was a VBAC.   Turns out in Alaska, VBAC women cannot have a midwife attend any out of hospital birth. Home or Birth Center. So I had to give birth in a hospital again. Since this was all I knew, I accepted it and went about my business.  I had a fast 2 hour labor, and VBACed in an Alaskan Military Hospital in Fairbanks.  

With my 4th pregnancy, I just assumed the same regulations applied and never bothered searching for a midwife. Gave birth in the same Hospital. Another 100% successful VBAC.

That completed my family. But I was not done being pregnant! I became a surrogate a few years later.  This time, due to Surrogacy laws and the complicated nature of our contract, I needed to give birth in California. It was during this pregnancy when I realized what a novel thing it was that I had done all those years.  I needed to look for a hospital in CA and locate a care provider that did VBACs. Much to my shock and surprise, I found 3 hospitals that even allowed VBACs. 3 in the ENTIRE state of California!   Eventually I selected another military base to give birth at due to my insurance and the ease of transitioning at such a late stage in pregnancy.  And in 2005, I had another successful VBAC. 

By now, most women would think that that c-section I had back in 1994, would have been null and void because of my current history of 4 perfect vaginal births but it was not. Once you have had a c-section, you are always "damaged goods".  You will Always have to fight for a VBAC. You will always be watched. You will always have to prove yourself to the OBs and Hospitals. 

I did another surrogacy, this time I was able to stay in Alaska to deliver. I had learned a bit more about VBACs and Birth and became almost obsessed with educating myself about all things pregnancy and labor and birth. I read a LOT! One book that stands out from all the rest, is called "Childbirth Wisdom". It's currently out of print but some libraries carry it. You can also buy it from amazon for like $90. (ouch!) But basically it was just 3 stories from indigenous peoples from 3 different parts of the world during pregnancy, labor, birth and postpartum. It filled me with the lost knowledge that women CAN do this! That we never needed help to have a baby and that we were stronger then we knew.  I loved that book and have since read it 3 times as inspiration when I am feeling caught up in life.  Anyway, that pregnancy was a bit scary at times. At 15 weeks I had some terrifying bleeding. Black Friday shopping was pushed aside while I spent the morning in the ER. Turns out I had Complete Placenta Previa, a condition that means your placenta is covering your cervix completely and could lead to some life threatening complications. I spent the next 12 weeks on pelvic rest and extreme light duty. No bedrest, thank goodness. The bleeding stopped in about a week and I then only spotted for about 4 more weeks. After that, at my 28 week appointment, we did another Ultrasound to check and my placenta had moved out of the way and I was good for a vaginal birth!  

During the 10 weeks of worry, I discussed many things with my OB and CNM. We knew that c-sections are medically needed for complete previa cases. I also determined through research and talking with my care providers that I could have a TOL (trial of labor) with a partial previa or marginal previa.  We talked about my chances of having a VBAC after 2 c-sections as well. My care provider team was really supportive and said that given my history, a VBAC after 2 c-sections would be supported by them! I was relieved. 

Anyway, long story short. That baby was born at home after a fast 1 hour labor. Attended by only my husband and my 13 year old Daughter.  It was a time of complete bliss for me.  A time when I found my inner person telling me what the future holds. 

It was soon after that birth that I decided to become a Midwife. I needed to be able to help Alaskan women have VBACs at home! How can I share my experience with others?  Certified Nurse Midwives can attend homebirths for VBACs in Alaska. So that is what I needed to be! Only it turns out that 12 years of school and residency was too much for a 32 year old mom of 4.  :(  Still, I knew what I had to do. And by golly, I would do it. Somehow.

A year later, I found a Doula program and started working towards my certification.  I felt this was the perfect stepping stone on my way to becoming a midwife. I could do this, while being a mom and after the kids were older, focus on midwifery.

when I was about 1/2 way through my Doula studies, I did another surrogacy. During our journey things got complicated and my IP"s (intended parents) lost faith in me and we had some Issues. I was living in California at the time we meet and did our contracts, but 1/2 way through the pregnancy, we needed to move back to Alaska due to my husbands job. It was at that point things got sticky because I was bound by my word and my contract that I would give birth in California (law issue again). I always keep my word and I WAS planning on going back to CA for the birth.  Long story short, I was pissed at my IP's for not trusting me to go back to CA to give birth. I was tired of the stress and I wanted to be DONE! So, like a fool, I booked a c-section for 39 weeks in CA and walked away as a mom with 2 c-sections now, once again, changing the course of my future. But this time I made the choice. 

I do have regrets about the way I acted. I regret that I turned my back on everything I hold dear and did something I knew was the WRONG choice but I was blinded by what was going on in my life and as anyone in my family can tell you I am stubborn. This trait caused me to not back down even though I knew what I was doing was wrong. 

In the end, the IP's turned out to be some of the best friends and have apologized for the way things were during the pregnancy. I have also forgiven them.  But that surgery has really impacted my life in more ways then one. Not only emotionally but physically as well.  The more c-sections a women has the more risks she faces in the future. It impacts all future pregnancies, it impacts her fertility, and it impacts her labor and deliveries tremendously. 

Today, I am a Doula, a Childbirth Educator, and awaiting my Certification in Lactation Counseling. I also am co-leader of the Alaska Birth Network and starting up a new Anchorage ICAN chapter.  Would I have done any of this if I had never had that first c-section?  I don't think so. My c-sections have made me the person I am today. For the Better. :)

[towerjunkie1989]

i have no bond with the baby and it has been a month tomorrow. Makes me feel like a horrible mother

[Daynaof3]

 You're not a horrible mother, and I know that feeling. It took me a few months to have the same bond with Alana that I had with Alayna(my twins) because of the longer separation I had with Alana. Alayna roomed with me and I breastfed her every feeding where Alana was away from me and I only breastfed her while I was able to go see her. It was really tough and the feelings tore me up. Spend alot of close time with your baby when you can, skin to skin is wonderful for bonding! It will come with time. =)

Quoting towerjunkie1989:

i have no bond with the baby and it has been a month tomorrow. Makes me feel like a horrible mother