I'm a single mom to a beautiful baby girl her dad has been to see her all of three times and those were all within the first few days after she was born. i ended up having an emergency C section because she was presenting face-first and there was no way for her to be delivered naturally that she would survive. she was delivered on November 3rd and i still haven't recovered, every time i try to get back to my normal activities or just getting out of bed, something goes wrong.
i've been bleeding ever since she was born and my doctors are getting very concerned about this, i had a last minute D&C because they did and ultrasound and said it appeared there was some stuff left behind from the delivery but after the procedure we were informed that they didnt find anything and still have no idea why it is that i'm still bleeding.
i'm getting pretty worried but trying to stay calm so i can care for my daughter but the hardest thing for me has actually been the nightmares. every night i wake up terrified because i keep having nightmares that she gets taken away. before she was born her father was very mad that i wouldnt even consider giving her up for adoption because as he said i was just keeping her to screw him over, even though to this day i have not once asked for any kind of child support from him. i have horrible nightmares every night that he sneaks into my home while i'm sleeping and steals her away and it terrifies me because i almost wouldnt put it past him.
between the stress of being a single mother, feeling daily like im literally dying because the bleeding wont stop and worrying about her dad stealing her away in the middle of the night, i feel like i'm completely losing my sanity and becoming ridiculously paranoid.
does anyone have any suggestions for how i can help keep myself calm and still take care of myself and my daughter? i'm pretty much at my wits end here and the only thing keeping me together is that my parents have been helping to take care of both of us and i feel terrible putting them in that position like that.
I over did it after my first c-section and surprised my doctor that I was still healing after a year. I hope the bleeding stops and the doctors figure out what is wrong. Just try and take it easy and rest when you can.
As for your nightmare if your BD (Baby's Daddy) is on the birth certificate I would file for custody right away that way you have a safety net and call the police and get him charged with kidnapping if he tries to keep her. If he isn't on the birth certificate don't worry you can still call the cops because there is no legal document stating he is the father and he would have to go through court to establish that. I had a lot of nightmares of my oldest getting taken when I was pregnant with him but not after. So I can relate a little. Just try and relax momma and enjoy your little girl :)
Quoting blessedmommie07:
I over did it after my first c-section and surprised my doctor that I was still healing after a year. I hope the bleeding stops and the doctors figure out what is wrong. Just try and take it easy and rest when you can.
As for your nightmare if your BD (Baby's Daddy) is on the birth certificate I would file for custody right away that way you have a safety net and call the police and get him charged with kidnapping if he tries to keep her. If he isn't on the birth certificate don't worry you can still call the cops because there is no legal document stating he is the father and he would have to go through court to establish that. I had a lot of nightmares of my oldest getting taken when I was pregnant with him but not after. So I can relate a little. Just try and relax momma and enjoy your little girl :)
i didnt put him on the birth certificate for just that reason. we were also never married so that would make it that much harder for him to get any kind of custody. the last time he actually asked to visit was a couple days after i came home from the hospital he called my dad and said he was coming by the next day to get the stuff he needed to do a paternity test and my dad told him if he was going to do that he wasn't allowed to come visit that time because that was offensive to us because he wasnt going after legal rights, he was only trying to prove she wasnt his even though he knows she is because i've never cheated in my life, he was just trying to imply that i was untrustworthy and everything which added an extra amount of stress to everything else...
Definitely get your friends and family to help you. See if you can find a Postpartum Doula that will offer free or reduced services. Look into counseling as well.
Perhaps a local ICAN or other support group can offer you some help.
Did you feel pressured or guilted into your c-section?
- Malice113
on Jan. 16, 2012 at 8:44 PM